Sep 12 2005
Planning as promises…
Promise: a positive declaration intended to give confidence that one will do something or that something will happen (OED)
Over promising emotional impact = 
gloom, disappointment
Examples from my social life normally come in the form of ‘I didn’t have the time’ (missed the train, unavoidable conflict, some dependency didn’t happen, etc)
In process promises emotional impact = 
mounting frustration, increasing disengagement
Examples from my social life revolve around negotiating (when to meet-up, shared taste in a mutual purchase like concert tickets, vacation location etc)
Under promising emotional impact = 
Joy, gratitude
Examples from my social life tend to be unexpected gifts of events (phone calls, surprise parties, a person’s presence, vacations, etc) and objects (letters, photographs, hand-made artwork, poetry, hard to find treasures, etc)
Reliable delivered promises emotional impact = 
contentment, admiration and loyalty
Examples from my social life are thankfully numerous. A place to stay, met at the airport, companionable evenings, my cats fed and pampered while I’m away. I love these people as the unsung heros whose ability and commitment provides the foundation of happiness.
I strive for reliable delivery with some intentional under promising to allow me to express my creativity and, more importantly, the pleasure of witnessing the joy. Everyone I’m visiting in the UK consistently falls into the last 2 categories in thier relationship with me. I count myself as extremely wealthy to be able to appreciate these people 
What do you tend to do?
Wendy Wondering-how-to-next-under-promise
Planning as promises…
