:: The Wendy House ::

On Boyfriends:

• Wendy age 12 “Mum, what do you think of boyfriends?” .  Mum “They’re okay one at a time“
• Gave me a front door key (age 12) and said “let us know if you’re not coming home over-night,  otherwise we’ll stay awake waiting to hear you come in“  Cunning,  I always felt morally obliged to tell her exactly where I was and when I was coming home…
• Wendy age 16, after boyfriend dumped me because I wouldn’t marry him before I’d been to college.  Wendy “what did you think of him mum?“.  Mum “He’s in the Navy dear“
• Wendy age 17, dating an Oxford University undergraduate studying “Classic’s” who had an Aristocratic family name, all boys-private-school education with a ‘plummy‘ accent.  He would bring HER roses when he visited.  She phoned all her relatives, even distant ones that she didn’t like, to tell them his name.  Never before or since has she done this. 
• Upon meeting my first love (age 19),  she left the hallway,  shut the kitchen door (NEVER normally shut) and we could hear:  “HaaaHaaaa Haaaa,  haaa,  haaa,  teeee heee heeee“
• After first-love dumped me (age 22):  “He didn’t have enough umpff for you dear“.  I know why she laughed,  I thought that was ‘Umpff’.  Poweful insight on her part,  wish I knew how to recognise “Umpff“. 

On Wendy’s pierced nose (since age 19)

• “Congratulations,  you’ve managed to highlight the worst feature on your face“
• “Oh,  let me polish that dear it’s all greasy“
• “It’s just a phase you’re going through,  you’ll grow out of it”
• “Is that a zit dear?  oh,  I couldn’t tell the difference”
• “Don’t wear emerald’s there dear“

 On Wendy’s tattoos (since age 22)

• “Oh dear,  will that wash off?”
• “Is that cancerous?”
• “What exactly is it meant to be?”

On Marriage:

• After Wendy had been ‘engaged’ for 3 years, over formal family dinner, she said to us both:  “If you want to elope,  that’s fine with us“
• After Wendy had been ‘engaged’ for 5 years,  to me in the kitchen ”If money’s the problem dear we can contribute  <generous amount>“
• Unprompted this September:  “good job you didn’t get married dear,  have you seen the cost of weddings?  Its outrageous!“

Mum’s a complete treasure.  I adore her mixture of pragamatism,  support, and clearly stated prejudice.  Love her to bits.

Wendy

You know how some people have the kind of smile that could melt a chocolate bar at 20 paces?  

Hold that thought.

Today I discovered that some people have the kind of email-writing that can melt a Wendy irrespective of distance. 

All the cute kiddies wandering around in costume today are making a eutectic mixture of me.

* the sound of Wendy reading an email as a cute kiddie walks by

W