:: The Wendy House ::

woke up

showered then made a huge mug of tea

dressed, drank some tea

fed the cats, drank some tea

drove to work, drank some tea

worked, drank tea, worked, drank tea, worked, drank tea

ate ground beef, chilli beans and rice for lunch. Washed it down with a large mug of tea

worked, drank tea, worked, drank tea, worked, drank tea

met US  lawyers to prove I had current work permit and sign multiple forms stating I am a non-resident Alien

drove to a CD store and purchased Jamie Cullum’s “Catching Tales”,  got a bit thirsty

drove home listening to “Catching Tales”, got a bit more thirsTEA

fed the cats, drank some tea

made and ate LOTS of garlic cheese sandwiches, drank tea

composed this fabulous blog entry while ripping the CD and drinking tea

replied to some emails, read some blogs, listened to CD and drank some tea

texted reply to a UK gal-friend who had texted me today promptly after dropping her second sprog.  Shockingly good show! Drank some tea

cleaned the kitty litter and took the rubbish bins out, drank some tea.

Tinkerbell’s screen suddenly went ‘black’. A ‘hard’ power-button press to turn her off.  Let her cool (while I drank some tea).  Powered her-up again.   She’s back to ‘normal’. Sigh.

Backed-up Tinkerbell.

Congratulated myself with a BEER for following Jakob Neilson’s blog entry title accuracy guideline #3 published on his site outlining the top 10 blogging design mistakes

around 10pm the evening got unpublishable.

 How was your day sweet list-reading people?

after-beer words of wisdom paraphrased in a local (US) regional phraseology:

Wendy: “I needs me a boyfriend to do the cookin’ and stuff, cats is ok but they caint cook”

Matrix: shhhhhhhnnnnrrrrrrrrrr……….

Cats, like boyfriends, can and do snore

Am I DULL or what!!!

These spelling mistakes probably emphasize the way the internet author pronounces the words:

“Candel’s around your tub after a hot oil message.”

Special thanks to

• Jen & Roth for hosting with professional, caring, chef quality food.
• story-telling (unpublishable) fabulous-food-bringing guests.

Everything so tasty! It was fun to have a reason to make a trifle for everyone.  Trifle in production:

Cummings, the fragrance official site. The photographic pun’s on traditional perfume marketing images are worth a look. The whole site is both professional and gently tongue in cheek.  These qualities have left me wanting to try this smell.

Excerpts from Cummings, the fragrance site

“With a name like mine it was made to be sprayed all over people’s body’s, what do you think?” A Cummings

“an assertively masculine combination of bergamot, whiskey, cigar, leather, highland mud, and… condom.”  (Allure)

“Mild. Nice. Not obtrusive” (Martha Stewart)

The Optician’s verdict on these:

He did spook me a couple of times during the examination. Here’s one spooking:

Optician: 42? In 2 or 3 years you will need bi-focals

Wendy: I don’t have any problems with close-up vision yet (SPOOKED)

Optician: tell me when this starts to get fuzzy (moves tiny-text towards my substantial pointy nose)

Wendy: Now! (about 5 inches from said nose)

Optican: that is good focus, think about bifocals in 5 or 6 years

Wendy: Phew!

“Animal Farm” was standard reading during my English high-school equivalent education.  This entry’s title quote is a satirical comment from ‘Animal Farm’.

The BBC reports. 

 ”Six of the largest US ports - New York, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Baltimore, New Orleans and Miami - are currently run by British ports and shipping firm P&O.”

The British are selling P&O to a Company based in the United Arab Emerits (UAE).  Appropriate USA procedures have been followed to vet the purchase unless you consider all Arabs less ‘equal’ than Brits on a ‘Security’ basis.  It looks like Congress operates on different rules for Arab and Northern European based countries.  Looks like Congress applies a ’guilty until proven innocent’ rule to Arabic countries.  This appears counter to the principles of Justice applied internally through the US court systems, namely, innocent until proven guilty. 

Conversation at the check-out in the fridge:

Him: what’s this about Britain selling ports to the AED?

Wendy: Ports? What Ports? 

Him: on the East Coast. To the Arabs

Wendy: Ship-building ports on the East coast of Britain?

Him: No, US ports.

Wendy: Britian is selling ports on the East coast of America to the United Arab Emerits?

Him: Yes.  Bush let you, but Congress can Veto it. That’s the good thing about America, Congress can veto.  I didn’t vote for Bush. No-one did. 

Wendy: Uh-hu

According to the BBC things are pretty peachy in the South East US. 

Eyan asks the essential questions:

Can you explain to me how come I managed to do 18 pages of translation last night (I stayed up most of it) and today I have only done four ?

In Spain, is translation a nocturnally inspired process?

the dish.  the recipe.

A once in a decade opportunity to look inside my tidy drawers.  Drawers full of stuff that:

• needs to be ‘at hand’.
• doesn’t immediately ‘fit’ anywhere else.

Who would have guessed there would be so much in them?

(LIST WARNING*. Faint hearted look away NOW!)

scissors, mp3 player, AA batteries, post-it notes, normal pens, marker pens, sticky tape, swiss army knife, bluetooth adapter, camera battery charger, checkbook, business cards, USB thumb drive, usb mouse, tape measure, stapler, super-glue, headphones, cat treats, ancient condoms, rulers, shoe horn, lighter, spare garage door remote control, hole punch, glasses chain, more…. 

(LIST WARNING* OVER. I can’t believe you actually read that! You are STARS!)

What’s in your drawers?

* Any list with less than 6 items does not qualify for a warning.

Ian Dury and the Blockhead’s debut album provided jiggy, funny and touching music and images in the late 70’s.  This morning ‘new boots and panties’ tracks spiced up the dawn chorus while I pulled on my pink winkle-pickers.

The album permanently warped my clothes taste

Original Docs…      ….Pink Pickers…    …Patent Platforms…

Felix Panties

All the basic equipment necessary for dishing out some serious *um kicking 

*B

The phrase ‘mad as a hatter’ describes unpredictable behaviour. It originated from the middle ages when felt hats were made using a toxic substance called mercurous nitrate which caused symptoms similar to Parkinsons disease.  People behaving like this (hatters) were assumed to be mad (UK, Crazy US). The phrase became more common after Lewis Carroll used it for a character in ‘Alice in wonderland’.

I am not a talented accessorizer.  I do adore hats.  They are a fabulous way of keeping

• (ex)static hair from frightening the neighbours
• your ears toasty-warmy and dry
• looking cute
• your glasses from blowing-off in high-winds

Here’s an insight into the unboxed part of my addiction.  Approximately 40 hats:

In less than 15 mins. LooSea’s battery spontaneously drained while I stopped in the fridge. 

Two wonderful Hispanic men rescued me.

They were fortunate enough to have parked next to LooSea. Their English was better than my Spanish.  Extremely limited.  I pointed at my jump leads, opened the bonnet, and asked if they could help me.  They giggled a bit. Pointed at their car and said “Avis” as I passed them the other end of the leads. 

Is LooSea telling me something? will she start for me tomorrow? I’m feeling battery-power-challenged at the moment. 

This generous behaviour warranted a proposal.  I didn’t propose because I haven’t yet purchased a ring to demonstrate my sincerity and commitment to proposees.

Meeting real people as a by-product of blogging! 

Jenn and LaCroix blog on our evening out with regular ‘commenters’ Drew and Mr.Fancypants:

• Piehole
• Ordinary: tales of a librarian

I’ve met more, more like-able, people through blogging than through subscribing to an internet dating service. Who would have guessed that it seems more ‘natural’?! 

The ’70s dive bar music was outstanding.  The beer was sadly all bottled and lager oriented.

Tinkerbell wants a trip to a laptop hospital.  Or should I start tinkering by myself?  Can I resist tinkering with Tinkerbell? Laptop hospitals look expensive… …Maybe.. I’ll tinker…

What is wrong with Tinkerbell? 

• external power-connection is unstable since the meltdown. A new external power adapter might NOT solve the problem. 

• space-bar plastic ’springs’ are broken. This means the bar only works if pressed exactly in the middle. Cutting my typing speed by half. A new keyboard only costs $35 dollars direct from the factory. I could wreak untold damage by trying this myself.

Beer will help make this decision….

Conversation in the local Diner:

Granny: do you live in the condominium over there?

Wendy: yes

Granny: I live opposite you,  my name’s (unpublishable)

Wendy: oh, hello (smiles and shakes her hand) my name’s Wendy…

Granny: I recognized your…your…erm…top (a fabulous pink fluffy thang)

In England I would meet and get to know my neighbours in the local pub.  In NW USA this acceptable social sharing happens in the Diner. 

Wendy lurrrffffs-diners.

Our Barcelonean correspondent,  Eyan, asks the essential questions:

What is a butt joint ?

a - a curious sexual position

b - a way of joining two pieces of wood together

c - a cigarette containing illegal substances smoked through the anus

Webster describes a stain using words like ‘discolor’, ‘tarnish’ and ‘taint’.  Webster’s first definition of Dye is ‘to stain’! then words like ‘permanent’ with a positive connotation.  Intention is sometimes a definitional difference: 

• Stain by accident
• Dye on purpose

I believe staining does not, and dyes do, force a change in chemical structure of whatever they colour.  This means stains do not, and dyes do, weaken whatever they colour.  Think of hair dyes.   After dying people often need to repair and condition the hair because it becomes dry, brittle, frizzy.  Possibly because of chemical restructuring?  I stain my hair using a mixture of

• Red Wine
• Tea
• Coffee
• Henna

This conditions it and perks up the colour.  Double wammy.  NICE.  Silver hairs take the stain more readily.  Highlights!  The stain will also

• fade with time.
• make hair resistent to chemical dyes and perms (they wont work until the stain fades).
• look like cow dung. YUCK

In the works canteen today;

checkout gal: “is THAT all for you today?”

Um, should I buy something else?  Is she saying I eat too little?  What does she mean???

Wendy eats-like-a-bird

A Seattle based Londoner sent a squishy email to work colleages:

Londoner “…I popped *the* question to which she said yes...”

Wendy: “Is she pregnant or what?  ;-)”

Londoner: “This slate is clean!”

Wendy: “A get-your-greencard-quick plan?”

Londoner:

Other proposals in this series:

#1:  Product Support

#2:  Work Colleague

#3:  Jump leads

I can’t be doing with maintaining two blogs. 

This is now my main blog:  http://wendyhome.com/ 

This is now an archive:  http://thewendyhouse.spaces.live.com

This is the first-post I’ve written using this pretty template.  But the published bit looks different from the preview.  I’ve written to the template author for advice to see if she can help me make it look all pretty. 

 I suspect this ‘Error’ is the guilty culprit….  .do I want to run scripts?   Gosh,  that question probably doesn’t have a simple answer… …I’ll have a beer and contemplate researching it… …later

W style-challenged

WordPress blog set-up on Linux server: http://wendyhome.com/

Did it all myself!*

Once I’ve finished fiddling with set-up details, editing, formatting and other faffing stuff I’ll be leaving MSN Spaces.  For now,  I’ll maintain both (huh?) with this one being the primary one.

Time for congratulatory BEER.

*with

• excellent WordPress support forums
• GoDaddy support for Linux problems

The Tukwilla department of homeland security finger-printing process has improved since January 05:

• a flat rate fee for parking.  You no longer have to pay more when they make you wait longer.  You have to pay on entry.  They are more certain of getting money for their service.

Wendy:  Like your flat rate fees!

Black US car park attendant:  Lovely Jubberly!

Wendy:  (Laughter,  strange to hear a London phrase made popular in the UK cult classic comedy ‘only fools and horses’ from a US blue-collar worker)

• Ticket numbers and seating instead of stand-up line for 4 hours.  Albeit three tickets and three lines,  one after the other,  for unclear reasons.
• Only 3 hours, not 4,  from entering the building to leaving with about 15 minutes actually being finger-printed.
• usability software updates to the fingerprint capture software.  Now the operator can
  • capture the fingerprints with a ‘foot-pedal’,  this enables them to use both hands to make sure your finger is in the right place.
  • get immediate feedback on whether the captured finger-print passes the quality bar.

W proved-finger-prints-are-the-same-as-last-2-visits

Wendy:  “How long are your jump leads?”

Guy:  “this long”

Whips them out to demonstrate. Wendy blushes then smiles.  Easily over 10ft of lead.  More than enough to reach LooSea.

Wendy:  “Will you marry me?”

Bouncing and clapping hands with eyes clearly fixed on the jump leads.  Nearly slips on the wet-grass.

Guy: “I don’t think my wife would approve”

eyes focused on his jump leads with no actual jumping.

The rest of the conversation is unpublishable. 

My proposal wasn’t accepted. 

Sigh

Wendy persistently-impulsive

All came from Google variously searching for: 

• ŦĦ 
• dream suppressant
• fake street lamp
• painting small objects
• (Not Swedish but Norwegian [thanks Raymond] application of google): descartes skull 

3/5 searchers may well have been pleased with the results

 700,000 x luuuurrrffffffff to all you doody-cats

Bask in all that BIG luuuurrrrrffffff

Matrix doing a demo:

Last week all I knew about Linux was

• cute penguin mascot
• Linus ‘Someone’ is Finnish 
• they make ’servers’
• something about ‘freeware’

Now I know that Linux file names are case sensitive. 

A Painful discovery for an incase-insensitivty criminal such as myself.  Sigh.

BEER please

Use of the ’size’ system in US stores is inconsistent.  It’s not a single, transarent, system.  Not a system?  You have to look at the clothes and ‘guess’ based on your knowledge of your own body-shape. 

See examples of three ‘fitted’ items that all fit me:

• Medium - American Eagle smallest top
• Small - REI (US Co-op) middle-sized top 
• Extra Small - Mountain equipment (Canadian Co-op) largest top

I recently risked buying a t-shirt online.  Ordered  ‘Medium’ to be ’safe’.  Its an American Eagle type ‘Medium’ size only just big enough for the dudes.    Maybe American Eagle is implying that only really slim people shop here. 

American Eagle:  “Wendy,  you are a medium on the really thin scales“   

You’ve got to look right to be a customer at some Amercian shops.  The Nitwit points out Abercombie and Fitch has this discriminatory (targeting marketing?) behaviour when recruiting sales staff.

W out-of-wack

Guest entry from Barcelonean WhitePrince.

I’ve taken minor editorial liberties.  This is risky given Eyan’s profession and my punctuatory skills.  I love the way Eyan captures frustrations of his everyday work, translating, and side-benefits:

It’s easy to get distracted when researching technogyl terminolgy and follow links to something totally unrelated. Today I have read about:

1. Queen Victoria and her offspring
2. London City Airport
3. Luxair (and edited some rather dodgy English in the Wikipedia entry)
4. Tony Blair’s woes in the Scottish by-election
5. A 19th century train crash in Northern Ireland
6. Stairway design get the work done. It takes longer than it should. I could bspoke German until she w