wendy house

Guest entry from Barcelonean WhitePrince.

I’ve taken minor editorial liberties.   This is risky given Eyan’s profession and my punctuatory skills.   I love the way Eyan captures frustrations of his everyday work, translating,  and side-benefits:

It’s easy to get distracted when researching technogyl terminolgy and follow links to something totally unrelated. Today I have read about:

1. Queen Victoria and her offspring
2. London City Airport
3. Luxair (and edited some rather dodgy English in the Wikipedia entry)
4. Tony Blair’s woes in the Scottish by-election
5. A 19th century train crash in Northern Ireland
6. Stairway design  get the work done. It takes longer than it should. I could bspoke German until she w

Here’s my new XS poodle-knit cardigan masquerading as trendy ‘outdoor gear’.    It even fits over my boob-insulatory layers. The Dollar is  to give an idea of  scale.   Similar to a UK fiver   I plan to live-up to my new classification by trying another US BEER.  

A cunning design feature is the placement of the pockets directly under the booby-dudes.   This means I can prop-up Bill and Ben with pocket contents.   An excellent new use for my camera,   wallet  and phone.

Wendy In-XS

Mum taught me how to darn soon after teaching me how to knit (pre-teen) and weave.   All these skills have been valuable.   A knowledge of weaving and knitting is a useful pre-requisite for understanding the principles of darning.  

Check out my recent handy work.

As a professionally employed person I could replace the clothes.   For me, having the ability to repair is better.   It gives me a preferable choice because it

• enables me to extend the life of special clothes

• side-steps unexpected obscolescence

• reduces ICKY shopping trips  

Obscolescence.   Love that word.   Say it again with me:

Obscolescence

W Darn-good

On Wendy’s first day in Washington State:

Wendy: Is your accent the regional accent for the Seattle area?

Hairdresser:   I don’t have an accent

Wendy: oh, sorry,   I must have soap in my ears, have you lived in the Seattle area all of your life?

Hairdresser:   yes

Wendy: Are your parents orginially from round here?

Hairdresser:   yes

Today:

Waitress:   Waller?

Wendy: On the rocks

 

Wendy learning-to-talk-to-the-natives

Arrogant Bastard Ale

7.2% Alcohol by volume.   Slogan “You are not worthy“

I’m a sucker for Ale at the best and worst of times.   Ale with a funky sales pitch broke all my pretentions at being remotely sensible or humble.

W Marketing-Victim  

I accidentally left my laptop, Tinkerbell,  turned-on while I went to work today.   Some pesky program didn’t ‘end’ after I’d boinged the ‘Shutdown’ button and confirmed YES it is shutdown that I want to do….     then left Tinkerbell assuming  she would actually SHUTDOWN.  

Silly me!  

Tonight I found the yellow plastic on the end of my power-cable had MELTED into Tinkerbell’s socket and her battery completely drained. I had to use

• FORCE to pull the cable from  Tinkerbell.  
• a KNIFE to scrape the  burnt melted plastic from the connector.  

Now Tinkerbell is happily cool and battery charging.   That one pesky program could have cost-me a Tinkerbell replacement if the melted connection hadn’t worked with a little jiggery-pokery.   I loath pesky programs.   Grrrrr……

ZAP pesky programs DEAD

W got-muscles-and-knives-out-with-ZAP-attitude-tonight-BEWARE!

Wendy: ‘…(unpublishable work-related suggestion in email)..”

Potential fiancee:   “Please!! Yes!! Go for it!! Onward!”

Perhaps i should do a few sensible things  before I propose like

• wait until I’ve known of the guy for more than 2 days,  
• had more than  1 verbal  conversation with  him,  
• find out if he’s ‘taken’ or not ‘into’ girls,  
• check his age, height and weight    (meet him)
• fully assess  his potential player characteristics

Seems like a more ‘sensible’, British reserve, type-thing to do.    Then again I’m not in Britain now.    Maybe I can be ‘racey’?

What do you think?   Advice?

Before it got out of the bag.

Potential fiancee     “the loss adjusters who were due to appraise the damage to my car are running an hour late so we’ll have to reschedule“

Wendy   “Have you got time now?   Can we do this over the phone?”

Potential fiancee “yes sure” (I do sooo love the sound of ‘YES’! He  puts me on speaker phone)

Wendy:   “…(unpublishable talk about my job)…”

Potential fiancee “..(Rabid typing and witty comments.   Keeps his loss adjuster waiting 15mins to wrap-up call with me)…” Later  that morning I send promised documents to potential fiancee who  replies telling me  what you already know,   that I  ROCK! and providing lots of little juicy promises to make my work life easier.

I could have married him on the spot.  

Company harrassment policy made me think twice about announcing the offer.   I’ll keep it on hold until I’ve worked out if he’s a player

Wendy Easily-pleased

Fifth  reflection on collective symptoms of what North American’s call a ‘player’*.  #5:   Busy Busy Busy!

The player is very busy because the player is sufficiently desirable to be irreplaceable and needed by others for something.   The players  notion of their importance and value is clearly conveyed here.  This busy-ness is often strategically used as an  escape clause  and the source of preening.        

This shows as  normal life activities on a ridiculously ‘tight’  schedule.   Lack of effective delegation or negotiating realistic schedules.      

Players  either don’t realise they can,   or  want to,  manage everyday busy-busy-busy-ness down to merely busy-ness.  

W too-busy-to-whatever

* No single symptom can lead to a reliable diagnosis of a ‘Player’.   This ‘disorder’ is not yet recognised by the DSM IV.

This photograph made gray, rain and carparks feel romantic. The single street lamp seems courageous. Having felt the cold and seen the snow drifts so unfamiliar to me adds something special to this picture.

No puking, I get soppy, get used to it.

I’ve made this picture my ‘desktop background’ it compliments the XP ‘silver’ theme quite well.

The guy from GoDaddy support was AMAZING.

Mr. Amazing…

• giggled, knew what I wanted before I did. I do so lurve good anticiiiiiiiipaaaaaaatiooooooon
• complimented me on the 2 web pages I’d published yesterday* and asked what software I’d used to make them (Microsoft Publisher).
• Made purring sounds of approval
• explained why I needed a SQL Server then confirmed that I’d successfully set one up. Explained why I might need more than one using a softly pleasing tone of voice.
• chuckled
• told me how to set-up ‘WordPress 2′
• chuckled a bit more
• Mentioned he has half a dozen “MoveableType” sites, has learned to prefer ‘WordPress 2′ when given the choice.

politely REFUSED to marry me!

A girl’s gotta try, good technical support people are a RARE find and worth their weight in gold

Evidently all my problems stemmed from having purchased a Windows web server rather than a Linux web server. Hows a girl supposed to know that? It seemed like a good guess that Windows is what I wanted, after-all, everything else I have runs on windows….and most my decisions are actually guesses. Mr. Amazing is now transferring everything on my account to Linux for me*. Sigh. do you think he’s a player?

W

*moving my web server account from Windows to Linux servers will take acouple of days, web pages wont be available during this time.

Forth  reflection on collective symptoms of what North American’s call a ‘player’*.    

#4:   Preening

Attention to very specific presentational detail.   Having a well-constructed creative story associated with that preening activity (car, clothes  etc).  

Examples:

I shave my chest because people don’t like to look at all that hair

(note that his shirt has to be open to display the chest hair,   or lack there-of.    Could he have been ‘medallion man’ in the 1970s?)

I pluck my eyebrows in the middle of my forhead and trim the excess length otherwise I’d look like a werewolf

(maybe i’m wierd,   but fluffy is good,   and vulpine is worth a big laugh,   BOOM BOOM)

The bra padding is to keep my boobs warm

NO, No,  no,   that’s me,   Wendy, I’m not a player…..

Players  don’t seem to realise that regular reproduction of self-conciously constructed  preening looks suspiciously like vanity and wears-thin with repeated use.  

W what-have-you-noticed?

* No single symptom can lead to a reliable diagnosis of a ‘Player’.   This ‘disorder’ is not yet recognised by the DSM IV.

• I get blog design freedom.   Release the Bloggers! I’m seeking categorisation, search, drafting (spelling)  facilities.   Visual customisation opportunities are a minimum requirement.
• I learn something.
• readers aren’t required to have a passport.

• Purchased  Web Service with subsidised Domain space  from GoDaddy:   http://www.wendyhome.com/

GoDaddy tutorials are extremely good.    They are  ’Wizard’ step-by-step guides with pictures of what you will see at each step.  The difficult bit is working out  which tutorial I need!    

• Used Microsoft publisher (first time) to produce and publish a ‘Draft’ webpage on the Domain.   Needs some planning and  ’Design’!!!!!    

I hope to ferment creative ways to use web-pages around the Blog…

• Put  ‘WordPress 2′  and “MoveableType” Zip files on  the Web Server.   By first downloading it to my computer then ‘moving’ it using FTP to the WendyHome web server.   This did involve  CRASHING  IE 6.0 4 times.  I sent Micorosoft the details of each crash through their ‘Send Error Report’ system.   Hope someone fixes something so others don’t have to deal with that.  

Everytime I try to open the zip file’s on the web-server  I get a message saying thet are currupted. Sigh. I’m ‘blocked’ from progress here.

• Completed a preliminary evaluation of  the free blogging software (QuickBlog V1.1)   provided with the web-server space purchase.   Practical results  show on:   http://the.wendyhome.com/

• Excellent categorisation system management system!
• Ability to ‘import’ past blog entries using RSS.   Import  constrained by MSN Spaces to last ’25′ entries and no comments.   Sigh.
• Poor entry editting GUI .  For example, no colour palette,   I’d have to LEARN HTML.   No thanks…
• Spell-check on entries.   Hooray!!!!
• Extremely limited visual and modular customization (embedded lists etc) personalization (themed templates) opportunities compared to MSN Spaces.   Oh deary.
• Commenters can leave their email address for me,   rather than ‘pulbished.   Hooray!
• Horrific supplier advertising at the top of the blog-page.   This one persistent visual-yuck feature drives me getting either WordPress or MoveableType working on the WebServer.

 

 I’ll be moving the Wendyhouse sometime soon.   Soon?    Maybe  by August at this rate….

W Doing-it-herself (One-care)

Third reflection on symptoms of what North American’s call a ‘player’*.  

#3:   Creative imagination

Ability to construct creative, enticing,  plausible opportunities for fun often with implicit escape clauses,   followed by  blame redirection  to side-step responsibility for blocking realization of  those opportunities.  

Examples:

Ooops,   that’s me,   Wendy,   but I’m not a player, really, no  I’m not.   NOT A PLAYER.  

Players  do not seem to realise that creative, plausible,  opportunities for mutual fun cease to be believable when based on a track record that includes liberal applications of escape clauses and blame redirection.

W fascinated-by-players-strategies

* No single symptom can lead to a reliable diagnosis of a ‘Player’.   This ‘disorder’ is not yet recognised by the DSM IV.

Snoqualmie Pass!

LooSea is my faithful 1995 Honda Civic. LooSea and ‘chains’ braved “Interstate 90″ (I90) to Snoqualmie pass. For UK readers, imagine a 4 lane Motorway with virtually no other traffic! A double-sized hard-shoulder. Vehicles stop on this hard shoulder to ‘Chain-up’. This is not only legal, its good for safety! That’s what driving the I90 from Seattle to Snoqualmie pass at noon on a Saturday is like! It’s about 40mins drive from my home.

More of todays snow photo’s. Check-out the snow-wall at the edge of the snow-ploughed-road. I’ve never seen anything like it in England!

Met these online gals in the real world last night:

• LaCroix
• Jennifer
• Anne
• Jenifer

Evening started well:

Wendy: “what beers do you have on tap?” to server

LaCroix: “I never thought of asking that question because I know they have Bass here”

Wendy: “I’ll have a Bass“

Evening got better:

These women were all articulate, plucky, self-aware, vibrant, valuable (soppiness police stopped me here). No time for trivialities such as ‘breathing’ inbetween

• telling a story.
• laughing at a story.
• pouring beer down your neck.

Evening lasted long after I left:

I made a naughty cinderella exit before the night ended….

Fabulous evening.

Thanks gals.

Bass sounds like Becks

Wendy:   “I ordered Bass,   this isn’t Bass”

Server: “Yes it is Bass”   (Becks?)

Wendy: “This is not Bass” (Wow,   American servers ARGUE with their customers!!!!!) “Bass is amber,   this is yellow”

LaCroix: “That is not Bass,   this is Bass” (raises her pint of Bass)

Server takes the pint, returns with a Bass and apologises.   Phew phonological beer-lager disaster avoided.

or,   if you’re Jennifer ‘Sling your pants’.  

The image of slinging pants reminded me of the UK Saturday Morning TV comedy genius of ‘Trev and Simon’ in the Donavanesque surreal ‘boy  band’ ‘Swing your pants’  captured in Real Video clips at: http://www.martinwhale.co.uk/saturdaymornings.co.uk/svgallery.shtml?show=trevsimon

W invested-in-new-pants-for-slwinging

Second reflection on symptoms of what North American’s call a ‘player’*.      

#2:   Implicit escape clause

Providing incomplete information that provides a temporary sense of mutual understanding.   The escape clause is frequently followed by a blame redirection.  

Examples:

I’ll call you later.

escape clause

I never said how much later    

let’s have a curry cook-off

escape clause

When & where are not established

I’ll paint your kitties for you as a Christmas pressie though I may not   finish before Christmas

escape clause

Meaning sometime after Christmas,   which christmas?   2006,   2007?   Urghh,   This was me,  Wendy,   I’m NOT a player.    I really meant to finish before February 2006 but things have slipped what with  stuff happening at work and all (blame redirection).   I still   you and your Kitties.  

Players  do not seem to realise that even when not followed by liberal doses of blame redirection actually using the built-in escape clause to ‘get-out’  makes it an extremely obvious strategy.

W fascinated-by-players-strategies

* No single symptom can lead to a reliable diagnosis of a ‘Player’.   This ‘disorder’ is not yet recognised by the DSM IV.

Tenerife sounds like Tel-Aviv

This can provide exciting, unexpected, vacation opportunities.   Excerpt from the Times

“Michael Moore and Diane Bell from West Yorkshire, booked a holiday to Tenerife but ended up in Tel Aviv. They went to Thailand but did not like it and went to a local travel agent, who misheard them. “I’d never seen Tel Aviv spelt before,” Ms Bell said. “I thought it was what people in Thailand called Tenerife.””

W Miss Heard

This is the first in a potential series of reflections on some behavioural rationalization that I believe are symptoms of what North Americans call a ‘player’.  

#1:   Blame redirection

Repeatedly experiencing plausible problems with  technology or services necessary for closing on a promise or  reasonable expectation.  

Examples:

that famous online store hasn’t delivered the package I ordered for you.

translates to

I have no intention of putting any effort into getting you any kind of present but I want you to think that I would for as long as I can maintain that premis.    

I never received that email from you  (gets passionately indignant about email service provider)  

translates to

I don’t want to answer the questions in that email and I don’t want you to realise i’m avoidng answering them.   I’ll redirect the conversation away from the email content.

I didn’t get your call because my cell phone batteries died

translates to

my cell phone batteries actually did die and I didn’t notice,   no really,   they did,   this was me, Wendy, I’m not  a player

Players  do not seem to realise the shere volume of these stories they produce relative to ‘normal’ people  makes them extremely obvious.

W fascinated-by-players-strategies