player characteristics #6: YOU stopped me from treating you
Sixth reflection on collective symptoms of what North Americans call a ‘player’*. Previously listed player characteristics available in my MSN Space archive:
- Blame redirection
- Implicit escape clause
- Creative imagination
- Preening
- Busy, Busy, Busy
#6: YOU stopped me from treating you
This is a specific case of ”blame redirection”. The redirection is at YOU. Here the blame for an unbeknownst treat not happening is your fault based on an implicit weak argument. As presented by the player you are guilty for their not being able to demonstrate their generosity. Naughty, naughty you!
Examples:
“I was going to call you tonight but you said you were going to the store“
Implicit weak argument: you will be at the store all evening, you can’t answer your cell phone or return a call while you are out.
“I was going to email you, but you said you were going to email me“
Implicit weak argument: email works on strict turn-taking rules.
“I was going to buy you another pint but you hadn’t finished the one in front of you“
Implicit weak argument: you won’t finish the pint in front of you soon or tolerate lining them up.
No, wait a minute, that was ME! I’m NOT a PLAYER. Finish the dregs of that pint NOW before it gets warm and flat while I line-up a replacement.
Players do not appear to realise that this kind of implicit weak argument coupled with little or no actual evidence of generosity makes them easily identifiable.
* Diagnosis of a player does not require evidence of all symptoms. Evidence of a single symptom is insufficent to diagnose a player. This disorder is not yet recognised by the DSM IV.
March 14th, 2006
I would post a comment, but I’m sure you’ll be at work . . .
I couldn’t resist.
Don’t hate the playa. Hate the game. (Or similar nonsense.)
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March 14th, 2006
Note: Players can be anyone (gender, ethnicity, age) in any relationship (work, family). This list was constructed from diverse stories generously given to me by friends discussing all sorts of different relationships.
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