Comments on: over hedging? http://wendyhome.com/2006/04/17/over-hedging/ fictional reality from Reading town Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:21:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Fizzz http://wendyhome.com/2006/04/17/over-hedging/comment-page-1/#comment-125 Fizzz Tue, 18 Apr 2006 01:07:58 +0000 http://wendyhome.com/2006/04/17/over-hedging/#comment-125 PM recently commented, as he was looking over my shoulder, that I'm very good at writing emails which, although they strongly suggest actions the other side should take and raise highly probable issues that all should be aware of, are presented in such a way as to not be insulting, not be "misinterpretable", leave no wiggle room for the other side, have many avenus for us to backtrack, etc. I'm pretty sure he meant it in an upbeat, positive way. Personnaly, I think it's sad that I have to review each sentence 5 times to "dot each i" to get somewhere. I shouldn't have to feel like a lawyer to work... All of that to say: there's a middle ground between having a pinky in the water and jumping with both feets in. One of the best coworker I ever had, who'd been around the industry for > 20 years, was incredibly good at getting the other side to think they came up with ideas he, in reality, had suggested. As a result, he got them to do what needed to be done without often appearing to step out of bounds. I still haven't quite figured out how he did it. PM recently commented, as he was looking over my shoulder, that I’m very good at writing emails which, although they strongly suggest actions the other side should take and raise highly probable issues that all should be aware of, are presented in such a way as to not be insulting, not be “misinterpretable”, leave no wiggle room for the other side, have many avenus for us to backtrack, etc.

I’m pretty sure he meant it in an upbeat, positive way.

Personnaly, I think it’s sad that I have to review each sentence 5 times to “dot each i” to get somewhere. I shouldn’t have to feel like a lawyer to work…

All of that to say: there’s a middle ground between having a pinky in the water and jumping with both feets in. One of the best coworker I ever had, who’d been around the industry for > 20 years, was incredibly good at getting the other side to think they came up with ideas he, in reality, had suggested. As a result, he got them to do what needed to be done without often appearing to step out of bounds. I still haven’t quite figured out how he did it.

]]> By: Eyan http://wendyhome.com/2006/04/17/over-hedging/comment-page-1/#comment-124 Eyan Mon, 17 Apr 2006 21:45:29 +0000 http://wendyhome.com/2006/04/17/over-hedging/#comment-124 It depends how you say things. Sometimes it's better to be less direct - you don't want to hurt their manly pride. I know I am very stubborn if somebody starts ordering me about. It depends how you say things. Sometimes it’s better to be less direct – you don’t want to hurt their manly pride. I know I am very stubborn if somebody starts ordering me about.

]]> By: Anne http://wendyhome.com/2006/04/17/over-hedging/comment-page-1/#comment-123 Anne Mon, 17 Apr 2006 20:46:02 +0000 http://wendyhome.com/2006/04/17/over-hedging/#comment-123 True, but I think in the US, we're told over and over again that no one's going to take our advice unless we're taking our own (meaning, unless we manage to convey our own sureness about the recommendation). Also, I took one class in college on Communication in the Workplace (commence with the eye rolling) that took a couple weeks to solely focus on why women sometimes are marginalized...it's not always that the men don't respect us, but that we can come off as wishy-washy. One of the more interesting experiements is to note how often women say "sorry" in workplace conversations, and then note how often men do it. We apologize a WHOLE lot more. Men do not. Men say, "do this, it'll work." Women say, "You know, sorry if this is butting in, but you may want to try doing it this way." It's no wonder the men don't always take us seriously...we aren't speaking the same language :) I've had to practice a lot to stop apologizing and just tell people what to do. True, but I think in the US, we’re told over and over again that no one’s going to take our advice unless we’re taking our own (meaning, unless we manage to convey our own sureness about the recommendation).

Also, I took one class in college on Communication in the Workplace (commence with the eye rolling) that took a couple weeks to solely focus on why women sometimes are marginalized…it’s not always that the men don’t respect us, but that we can come off as wishy-washy. One of the more interesting experiements is to note how often women say “sorry” in workplace conversations, and then note how often men do it. We apologize a WHOLE lot more. Men do not. Men say, “do this, it’ll work.” Women say, “You know, sorry if this is butting in, but you may want to try doing it this way.”

It’s no wonder the men don’t always take us seriously…we aren’t speaking the same language :) I’ve had to practice a lot to stop apologizing and just tell people what to do.

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