wendy house

Pike Place Market has some suprising merchandise.   I’m glad they’re sanitary.

Spokane Falls at nightOriginally uploaded by :: Wendy ::.

It was really this pretty, all soft spray and coloured lights a gentle roar of water. Lots of smooching couples nearby being all squishily romantic. I was too shy to photograph them…

I asked the other guests at the Stoltz House.

Edmonton  couple: for a vacation

Banff  couple: we’ve just bought an apartment here

The couple from Edmonton continued with the story of their son’s recent wedding in the Ukraine.

Edmonton couple:   there are no fat people in the Ukraine; everyone has wonderful figures, even the old people.

We shared a complimentary bottle of red wine supplied by Phyllis,   the outstanding landlady of Stoltz House for that last 14yrs,   Phyllis is incomparable,   a pure diamond.  I learned that Banff is lacking for cultural entertainment in the summer and is within driving distance of the happening city of Spokane.   A pleasant drive.  I learned  about ‘King Ralph’,   a radio and TV personality with a drinking problem that is currently the premier of Alberta, not  the film starring John Goodman.

I managed not to giggle at multiple uses of the word  ‘a boooooot’.

It was a tough challenge after two glasses of wine.   I sat in my corner,   nodded occassionaly and laughed at the genuinely funny stories.

Whilst wearing my new-ish hipsters  out in the wilds of Spokane:

• BMW Convertable driver pulls up by me “since 9-11 people get suspicious when they see someone photographing a public building”   leading to unabashed mutual flirting.   I didn’t get in the car with him.   He could have been a budding Ted Bundy with a car loan.   He could have been a decent guy.   Sometimes Wendy is way too sensible for adventures!
• 17yr old (estimation) gal approaches me and makes the same query about 4 times,   using different words,   fumbling her sentences and looking nervous “Do you know a good place to hang out here other than the Riverside Center because I’ve tried that“.   She had a beautiful moonshaped face and gentle dark skin tones.   At first I thought she was Asian but her eyes made her look much more native American.   I’ve met so few Native Americans.   “I’m a tourist, I don’t really know where people hang out here“.   I wished that I did, I really wanted to help,   in another dimension she could have been my daughter.  
• “Is that your purse?” a gentleman asks pointing at flat Eric bundled under my arm in the Spokane Museum of Art and Culture (MAC).   I suppose they left the ‘S’ out of the acronym because SMAC might sound a bit too naughty.

I think my new jeans actually say ‘talk to me’.  

Caskets on display

Originally uploaded by :: Wendy ::.

Prepared for Memorial Day

Our Barcelonean correspondent, Eyan,  wants to know about the Microsoft Word selection of Synonyms for that naughty word:

Why isn’t toilet in the Word synonyms dictionary for British English? Are we being coy? Sweeping things under the carpet again?

I think it’s outrageous Toilet water and toilet block are there, but no toilet. What is a guy to do ? It’s there for US English, but not for British English.

I’m baffled,   I’ll have to rest in a room for a while to wonder whether the water closet (WC) should come out of the closet and declare itself a toilet  

After 1 beer lists are the height of my organisation prowess.   After 2 beers I can reach the heady heights of a  miss-typed stream of consciousness.   Tee hee, Jack Kerouac  eat your heart out.   See if you can  guess where, in this stream of consciousness, I finnish my second beer…..

10 things to contemplate doing around Spokane ((structure of this post was inspired by Jen’s ’10 things’ series.))

1. Visit the site of the former World fair,   riverfront park.   Waterfalls,   gardens, funfair rides,   and a ‘falls sky ride’   oooOOOoooooo….     …I hope Flat Eric doesn’t suffer from vertigo!
2. Try-out some wines from the local wineries.    Can I taste the mining, or nuclear, pollution?   Does  this give  the wines a  zesty ‘kill your taste-buds’ tang?   It’s got to be done!
3. Take a look at the outside of  the Kaiser Aluminum plant,   one of those places where workers were exposed to Asbestos. It’s a business that is expanding in Spokane and supplies materials to build aeroplanes.  
4. Look at the architecture downtown.   The Davenport Hotel looks like it could be a fabulous turn of the century building that I can wander into without parting with cash.
5. Visit the Northwest museum of arts and culture,   that has a special exhibition on ‘cars and costume’,   an intriguing juxtaposition.
6. Visit the ‘Crosby’ center on the Gonzaga campus,   named after the local boy ‘Bing Crosby’.   Maybe take a photograph of Flat Eric in front of the statue of Bing.
7. find out about the subduing of the indigneous  Spokane, Palouse, Coeur D’Alene tribes (visit the Steptoe battlefield),   check out some ancient  petroglyphs.
8. walk,  roller-blade or bike along the Spokane Centenai trail.
9. visit a couple of local ‘prairies’ and look for ‘little houses’ on them.   ‘Orchard prairie’ is by a town called ‘Country Homes’ with names like these they are just calling out for a visit….   They don’t have ‘prairies’ in Britain.   For me their novelty value hasn’t worn off and I grew-up watching the Ingle’s girls….
10. Visit Manito park.   Mainly to be in  a pretty place designed to make people relax and be happy,   but also to get some local information on the Olmstead Brothers influence.   I’m an Olmstead brothers groupie.   Only since they  are dead there’s no sex on the cards when being a groupie.   Sigh.    I’ve admired them since I was 20 when I first studied environmental psychology as an undergraduate.    The wikipedia entry on their achievements doesn’t adequately praise their work in the light of the predominant contemporary attitudes towards nature,   especially European attitudes.    You might get treated to a bit of my gushing over these guys in a later blog entry.   IF you are lucky.   You could get lucky.   I used to get paid,   yes  PAID,  to  discuss their work with people.   People?   well undegraduates,   I’m not sure if they count,   they’re so busy being hip and pre-mature and having sex and stuff even though they can say some insightful things in odd moments of lucidity during seminars,   mainly they’re just cute in a grungy kind of way,   or at least they were when I taught….    

If I do only two things in that list I’ll be a happy bouncy bunny.   Did you spot where the stream of consciousness krept in?   I bet you did,   you’re clever like that  

Over-prepared-two-beer-tiddly-Wendy

that’s how the locals say  ’Spokane‘. They don’t say ‘Spo kane’.  

This weekend Flat Eric is taking me to a turn of the century (1908) Spokane city ‘Registered Historic Landmark’ Bed and Breakfast, Stoltz House,  Oh Yeah Baby!

Spokane was the smallest city to host a World fair.   The first World fair  with an ‘environmental’ theme inspired by concerns about mining poluting the local river.    Growing awareness of the local regional nuclear contamination attributed to the Hanford facility  may have played a role.   Hanford is within 150 miles of Spokane.   Wikipedia mentions that Hanford is known for being the site which supplied the nuclear material for the ‘Manhattan project’ and the bomb dropped on Nagasaki.   We’ll be spending a few moments in silent contemplation overlooking Hanford on Memorial day.   Apparantly much of the original site is now ‘orchards’.   Hmmmmm…  Washington apples,   distributed all over America.    

I once accidentally drove onto the current Hanford site and was promptly acosted by a military person waving a BIG gun.  ”Sorry sir,   it was such a nice big road and so empty  I thought it was a ‘toll booth’ not a military check point“. I suspect  a convincing ditsyness,   it being Christmas Eve,    my ‘cute’ English accent and Flat Eric wearing his seat-belt  in the passenger seat helped me get out of that without an interrogation.        

Flat Eric will be in the passenger seat again on the  way to  Spokane;   it  has  free  city-wide wireless service.   YAY!   that suits  this online girly,   Darling will be coming with me downtown!  

HOLIDAY!  

I’m already way too excited.   The kind of excitement that leads to these comments:

Mumzie:  ”there will be tears before bedtime”  (Wendy  under 4″0′)

Wendy: “there will be beers before bedtime” (Wendy  over 5″5′)

HOORAY! HURRAH!  

                          boing                                     boing                                       boing                                      

boing                                       boing                                       boing                                       boing

My wardrobe space used to stealthily disappear.  Then magically I stopped the clothes from breeding.

Spell:   before buying something for my wardrobe I MUST DECIDE  what it will REPLACE then  take the replaced item to CONSIGNMENT.  

This spell work’s ((doesn’t work for  hats,  underwear or footwear)) for me because of the cost,    to

1. make a decision other than ‘buy that pretty thing’ in a shop is DIFFICULT!!
2. remove a cosey, loyal, pretty thang from my wardrobe  is DOUBLE DIFFICULT!!!!

I now buy fewer  new things and the quality of my wardrobe content is, arguably,  improving.  

WIN…WIN  

Wikipedia’s description of  slip lists 16 diverse types including a woman’s undergarment,    a rail switch for trains,  excessive loads on structural engineering joints, and the slope used to launch a boat.    It doesn’t include the two ways I currently experience  slipping:

• feet gliding on a low friction surface.   Ooops, Wendy falls over again,   I slipped!
• an agreed time for an specific action  is moved to a later time. ‘Slipping a deadline’.  

When I ran University courses,   classes didn’t slip,   coursework deadlines didn’t slip,   courses didn’t slip,   semesters didn’t slip,   the academic year didn’t slip…   …slipping simply wasn’t a part of my work reality.     I did have this little slip:

Where  is my freedom,  did anyone see it go?     Perhaps it is

• roaming the world disguised as a priest accompanied by the missing pink  ’Hello Kitty’ sock.
• filed in an obscure folder on my laptop; fighting viruses, worms, spyware  and obscurity.
• unemployed in Slough making crustless  sandwiches for the local pub darts team.
• tangled in  my kitchen drawer or suffocating  in my sofa’s fluffy crevices.
• signed away with the small-print of the mortgage agreement.

Please come back, I love you, I never meant to lose you,   I can change.   Don’t leave me.

note:   inspired by listening to  some people sadly reflect on their lives describing collections of possessions and experiences with a disappointment at how this didn’t leave them feeling fulfilled.   To me they sounded as though they had never known freedom,  or merely, literally, lost it.    2004.  

in the US a ‘fringe’ is called ‘bangs’.   Why?   Who knows?   My lengthy fringe  is very fabulous  because it

• can hide my substantial nose
• gives a warm orange glow to the world
• is almost as silky as a silk moth’s bot
• has no Split Enz

This is how the world looks from behind my fringe,   I’ve squished the camera against my nose to take this photograph:  

Escape today.

Give your iron away.

Wear your creases with pride.  

Crease maps,  on laundry, can  guide.  

A finger tenderly traces the crease on a lovers shirt.    When picture clouds are hidden by the night  seek the pictures drawn  by the creases of your bed linen.   Don’t let the iron flatten your imagination.

Drop the anchor,

Fly.  

2006. Inspired by packing suitecases for travelling, a hectic job, watching  a friend carefully iron socks, a lover, and reducing electricity consumption

The question from the man with the essential questions ‘what does  chilling injury  mean’?  

1. putting a bag of birdseye frozen peas on damaged muscle?
2. a wound that sends shivers up your spine because its sooooo icky?
3. other?

what?

An ‘unportrait’ is a portrait that doesn’t include the person.   A description of the person that doesn’t include a figural image.   Here’s one.   This photograph was taken in a tiny apartment,   it includes most of her belongings.    You can see so much of her,   what do you see?  

US Bank uses UK spelling. Confused me.   I’m easily confused.

our  Barcelonean correspondent, Eyan, writes:

Sometimes I think my spelling skills may rival yours. After numerous attempts I had to look up archaeological. Yesterday I couldn’t pronounce clandestine correctly. My students said they would continue to use secret instead (similar words exist for both in Spanish).

remember,   tripple vowels are tricky for the spellingly challenged…

the second  outing of my new hipsters to work produced two identical outfit compliments:

“nice shirt”  

 
Watford RoadOriginally uploaded by Pete Ashton.

some of the guys on flick-r are pulling together photographs of the 11c bus route. this is a picture of one of the ‘hilly’ bits. Notice how small the cars are compared to NW US cars. Riding above the driver on these buses can be pretty hairy! No need for a roller coaster ride when you’ve got an 11c….  

The  church spire in the background is  another common sight.

“Does it work?”  asked a  colleage.

Wendy:   Well,   yes it ‘works’,   but there are lots of little problems that if you don’t already know what to do means that you can’t actually use it.

colleague: (laughs) She’s so tactful.   It doesn’t work.

Wendy:   we know the little problems and we’re going to fix them so it works but you can’t use it,   you will be able to use it, if you know the problems,   and when they’re fixed you’ll be able to use it without knowing the problems

colleague:   it doesn’t work now,   it will work WHEN?

Wendy:   I’ll get back to you with an estimated  date

Wendy waffles,   I always will.   It’s part of who I am. I like to think of it as ‘disambiguation’.   Mainly because ‘disambiguation is such a fabulous word.  

Say  disambiguation 3 times every night before turning the lights out and you’ll get a feel for what I really mean.   Beer helps you get your tongue around it.   Doesn’t it always?  

that’s where my time management skills are. Skills?   Hah! I don’t think so. Confessions of a failed organizer:

colleague # 1:   did you go home last night?   Oh yes,   you’ve changed your clothes

colleague # 2:   did you go home last night?

colleague # 1: That’s what I said!

colleague # 2: you were wearing something different yesterday.

Wendy: do you like my new jeans?

Unison colleagues:   hadn’t noticed the jeans

Must get more efficient,   either drop some responsibilites,   shift them, or refine my processes.   I don’t like working silly hours or being noticed doing so.   I want to have a normal life with normal times.   My managers’ comment when I asked for resources to do the stuff that wasn’t my ‘core value’ (skill set) was ‘find someone to do it for you’.   Urgh.   Looks like I need to develop my ‘selling’ skills because no-one reports to me.   Then I can say ‘can you do this for me’ because if you do ‘you’ll get this’ wonderful benefit.   Seeing me in my new jeans obviously isn’t enough motivation.

something for the stinker in your life:

hum = verb,   to smell bad.   A ‘hummer’ is something that  emits a bad smell.       How appropriate

the word of Jesus brought to you  from a microphone on a downtown Seattle street corner (Pike & 4th) highlighted by a road sign pointing the one way…

Normally I’m all for a tumble

My condominium has regulations that disallow hanging clothes outdoors to dry.   Ashame.   I rarely, if ever, see laundry hanging outside in the USA.   I saw laundry cheerfully decorating homes in Costa Rica

Clothes dried in an open breeze smell and feel so good.   Good memories.   I persist in using a method that doesn’t rely on generating electricity.   I hang my clothes where they risk catching direct sunlight  and  breeze from a window.    Even here in the infamously rainy NW USA it is easy to dry clothes without a tumble-dryer.      

Hang them!

just a thought

note:   inspired by  witnessing the almost nuclear scale fall-out of  a misunderstanding  in a stressful situation.   2006

A place to store your self.    A hotel where nothing ever happens.  

wendy:   I don’t think these jeans fit me or look good,   what do you think?

frendy: they make you look like a soccer mom

wendy:   uuuuRRRRGGGGHHHHH,   I need help!

In a shop that sells jeans

assistant:   what sort of jeans do you like?

wendy: any that don’t make me look like a soccer mom.    What would you suggest?

assistant:   (giggles) what size are you?

wendy: I’ve got clothes that fit me in sizes 1, 2, 4, 6  and   28″ through 32″ waist

The assistant collects 4 pairs of jeans all 28″ waist.   ‘Waist’ makes me giggle because they are all hipsters.   None of them reach my waist.   They all fit me.   This assistant is good.    I’ve installed one pair in my wardrobe.

From soccer mom to hipster

5 ‘winks’ were waiting in my inbox, from the online dating service  tonight.     About 500% my normal daily dosage of ‘winks’.    Has the impending US Mom’s day prompted the feeling of a need to find a mommy replacement?  

Synopsis of their dating profiles:

• jb3318: 52yrs. Lives in Washington State. Lenghty profile fits my sterotype of an elderly retired ‘gentleman’.
• badknee: 46yrs. Lives in Washington State.   Opening sentence is “well this is the hard part” the rest is evidence of quite how hard he found it.
• rik777rio: 48yrs. Lives in Montana. Describes himself as a ‘real man’.   Lenghty profile.   No evidence of humour.
• Greatlover424: 43. Lives in Indiana.   4 sentence profile.   Every sentence starts with a lower-case “i”
• Farel931: 45yrs. Lives in New York,   start’s with the ever popular opener “It’s hard to describe oneself…”  , then demonstrates how hard it was.

I need to update my profile to reduce unsuitable and increase suitable approaches.   What would you suggest I include and exclude from it?

The BBC reports that the Beckham’s planning permission for their  2 storey brick Wendy House is subject to the condition that no-one lives in it.   They can pretend but it can’t be a real house.  

This is a little local Wendy House where there’s minimum risk of someone actually living in it…   unless they are very short and very furrrrrry…

Alas,   I bailed on the evening of teenage diary readings before midnight.  

Actually,   I bailed on the evening before it even started.  

Jenn and LaCroix had a pant-peeing-purrrrrrfect time.   Naturally,  being paranoid,  I blame work.   But really,   I need to get a firmer control on my cinderalla streak otherwise I’ll be bailing on evenings before I’ve even been invited.   That just wont do.