This passport is a replacement for a passport ‘Declared LOST’, urgh. I anticipate delays and humiliation at US immigration. My new 10yr UK passport ID page has this special warning printed on the back:
Pretty illustrations of different birds on each page and dual language (English and French) almost make up for the likely extra detailed questioning when trying to get back into the US. Sigh.
I bought a cute pair of black mules with padded insteps, kitten heels, and big circular tortoise-shell-style plastic buckles reminiscent of Jackie kennedy’s style. These little beauties will replace my lovable well-worn cushion soled sensible outdoor wear Rockport black mules. My Rockport mules would look at home with a pair of khaki cargo pants. They are getting grody. They had to go. My new mules will go well with hipster jeans and pretty dresses.
Warning: high risk of public displays of girliness (PDG)
(extremely boring entry warning)
today I had to scan a copy of my new passport information for the US immigration people. I haven’t used my scanner since Tinkerbell bit the dust. Somewhere in the universe there is a CD that I should use to make my Canon scanner work with Darling. Do I know where it is? Um, no, Do I want to rummage through piles of user manuals and CD’s in some dark disorganised cupboard, err, no thanks. I probably threw the CD away when recycling the original packaging, I like to live ‘light’. Below is a description of my punishment for trying to live light……
Rumour has it that Windows Vista will be hot on ‘plug and play’. No more keeping old CD’s from device manufacturers with the device, no more searching for and installing (or failing to) drivers from the device manufacturers website. I hope. Vista might just let me plug in my scanner and scan. In the future normal people might not have to know about drivers to use their computers.
How sexy is that? ooooooOOOOOoooo 
English (51.30 °N) summers are normally cooler than Seattle (47 °37′N). This summer southern England is experiencing a heatwave. The BBC reports 90 degrees today. While the gentle glow of sweat on skin can be very sensuous, moving is yet more sensuous. Today I’ve been lurking in the shade and seeking cool breezes. I even checked out the cost of purchasing and ‘air conditioner’. Air conditioners are a new technology for me, not commonly available in the UK, no need. I prefer the action possibilities afforded by living in higher lattitudes than 47 °37′N. More outdoors ‘stuff’ is possible all year round.
US commenter’s fictional statement on a football match:
“previously an umotivated not pretty deadleg would streak into the box and step on an airborne bench, that’s a no-no, giving the opposition a P.K. History is against the bench”
The below commentary on American Broadcasting Company (ABC, US) Portugal vs England World Cup match commentator’s comments will help you translate the above fictional sentence.
go airborne. Another new euphamism! ‘we’ve seen a lot of players go airborne in these 21 minutes with some nasty landings’ go airborne = jump?
streaking. “Here’s Rooney streaking up the right side” In the context of soccer the word streaking is normally reserved for the nude people who dash across the pitch.
playing benches. “The benches might come into play” Can you picture it. Benches playing football. He must mean the players sat on the benches. The substitutes. Why not say substitutes?
not pretty. “English soccer is not pretty but its effective” Bollocks. Joe Cole’s footwork is as cute as a freshly baked cherry pie. That’s so cute it’s pretty. England’s playing may be sloppy at times, for international level play. These commentators crossed my offense-line when they called the English team’s playing ‘not pretty’ = UGLY. I suspect US sensitivities make it more polite to say ‘not pretty’ than ‘ugly’.
Dead legs. “There are a lot of dead-legs in that box” ‘The box’ refers to a marked area on the pitch immediately surrounding the goal. The ‘penalty box’ is generally considered the space from where goals can most easily be scored. A foul commited by the defending team in the box gives the attacking side a penalty kick, hence the name penalty box. The commentators used the verbal shorthand “P K” to refer to penalty kicks. I thought ‘Dead leg’ was a euphamism for someone useless. I like to believe the commentator was suggesting these people were tired rather than useless.
stepped. “Wayne Rooney just steps on him, the referee did a good thing he saw the step then he took him off” actually Wayne Rooney kicked him in the bollocks. “when Rooney stepped on him that was a big no-no”. These Amercan’s and their ‘polite’ euphamisms. ‘Stepped‘ “big no-no“, Hahaha.
motivating. The commentators suggested that England’s (ugly?) performance was attributable to Sven Goran Eriksson and the coaches style. ”I think the coach didn’t motivate the players” They suggested neither had adequate motivational discourses with the team. I’m assuming they mean US style ‘motivational’ perhaps they think that Sven’s not sufficiently ‘super excited’.
distraught. “Beckham is in tears on the sideline” Taken off in the 53rd minute due to injury. I cried at that point. People do cry at football matches. Audience and players, after misfortune and GOALS. I find it hard to think of the England team as lacking motivation when there are such clear physical displays of emotion and determination. Sadness is quickly and effectively conveyed by subtle positioning of facial musccles. Camera shots of England player’s faces after they lost the kick-off were strikingly different from earlier in the game.
UK based England fans. ”79% of people in the UK watched England Ecuador match that’s amazing that’s the difference between English and American Football” I like it when commentators throw in some statistics. I wonder how they could possibly know that – how was the information gathered? 79% is especially impressive because the UK includes Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. The commentator didn’t mention this. British people appear to support which ever regional team is left playing. Scotland, Wales and Ireland teams have already been knocked out of the 2006 World Cup. An even higher proportion of English people outside of the UK probably watched the match. All my English friends in the US did. The dedication of the fan base is only ONE difference between American and English football. Not THE difference.
England fans in Germany. The commentators rarely commented on the fans in the ground. Exceptions included comments at the end of extra time like “Nobody in the stadium has sat down for an hour“. The English fan’s vocal and musical presence was a very strong part of the whole experience right from the beginning of the match. The commentators often had to ‘shout’ to be heard over the background noise of the England fans. The fans sang
After England lost the game the relative quiet was striking. The Portugeuse winning cheers were quieter than the England supporters’ encouraging chanting.
history. “History is against England” the commentators’ discourse implies that because England has never won a penalty kick-off in the World cup they are hampered in some way. Huh? Whether someone-else did or didn’t score a goal in a different competition will impact whether this player does or doesn’t score a goal? That’s just silly, silly silly. Scoring is completely attributable to the ability of the players (shooter and goalie) at the time they take the shot.
“previously an umotivated not pretty deadleg would streak into the box and step on an airborne bench, that’s a no-no, giving the opposition a P.K. History is against the bench”
translates, in Wendy-English, to
“previously, tired players have raced into the penalty box and kicked jumping substitutes in the bollocks, that’s a foul, giving the opposition a penalty kick and prompting disapproving ‘booo’s from the fans. It could happen again.
Full time score: Portugal 0 England 0
Overtime score: Portugal 0 England 0
Penalty Kick-off
Portugal scored their first penalty. England first penalty was saved. That’s when I started crying. Portugal’s second penalty saved. England’s second penalty scored, and I stopped crying. Portugal’s 3rd penalty saved, England’s third penalty saved. Portugal’s 4th penalty scored. England’s forth penalty saved. Portugal’s 5th penalty scored…. game over. Portugal 3 England 1 Much blubbing. The Portugese goal keeper, Ricardo, was named man of the match. Clearly a good decision since the game was won on goal kicks and he saved 3/4 shots from England players.
The England squad was missing experienced, strong, forward players; Playing most of the game with 10 rather than 11 players.
The England players on the pitch did an extremely good job, just not outstanding enough to be worthy of a World Cup semi-final.
born badly (Catalan. An insult)
provided translation note: Very used when people gets hungry whith others
(this post was bought to you by Eyan, our Barcelonian correspondent. I suspect Eyan saw through the provided translation note….)
Oh my!
If England loose to Portugal tomorrow drowning my sorrows in a fabulous Cadbury’s chocolate bar is not really an option. Having a beer is also looking like a dodgy option.
What-ever the outcome we don’t face Argentinia. Phew. We had a nasty little ‘war’ with them over ‘the falklands’ in 1982, lost our place in the 1986 World cup to them when Diego Maradona scored a goal with his HAND (illegal) and the goal was allowed.
what’s a girl supposed to do if we loose? I’m just not prepared. Condoms won’t work in this context. We’ll have to win
