Cosmopolitan. Is not

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Standing in the check-out queue of the local large food store.   Magazines are placed where we can read their covers while waiting.   How thoughtful to entertain and educate us for free while we wait.  Most  of the magazines convey a very restricted value set.     They appear targetted at some form of femaleness.   I decided to buy the most prominent of the magazines ‘Cosmopolitan’.   The name sounded promising. The strap-lines on the cover distrubed me.   Here’s the cover for your delight with  pinkness filtered out to avoid offending anyone sensitive amongst you.   The message I read on this cover was:

securing and maintianing an active sex-life that satisfies a man is your reason for being.  


How did I find this message?   By subtle re-interpretations of each individual strapline. My re-interpretations are listed below  working from top-left down,   then top right down:  

  1. educate yourself on how to be  an effective sexual partner (object)
  2. predict how and when you can be a sexual partner (object)
  3. make sure your hair tells people you are an effective sexual partner (object)
  4. make sure you do not confuse men when you are trying to be an effective sexual partner (object)
  5. how to look like an effective sexual partner (object) without spending too much money
  6. how to survive your failure as an effective sexual partner (object) for one man so that you can be more effective for the next one.
  7. ensure that you please the man when you are having sex
  8. make sure that your  body is in good enough condition to be an effective sexual partner (object)
  9. make you legs look longer because that will make you more desirable as a sexual partner (object)

Such diverse,  useful life skills.   Well that sorted out my Thursday night’s educational agenda.   I think I’m fixed,   I wonder what the theme of next month’s magazine will be?   😉


Cosmopolitan. Is not
rate wendys scribble

2 bits of lovely banter on “Cosmopolitan. Is not”

  1. theCultFigurine writes:

    LOVE the b&w cover – that is probably the only way one can look at Cosmo without risking spontaneous bleeding from the eyeballs.



  2. Mark writes:

    Ah yes, Cosmo. They seem to be obsessed with sex and have a new sex tip every month – you’d think they’d have run out of them by now.

    What would Helen Gurley Brown think?



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