they said
“I don’t know the way to wiggle”
this statement was made by a very vertically challenged young boy probably as short as 4yrs old. A person that short really should know the way to wiggle. I gave him a demonstration, he wasn’t amused.
“why have you got a handbag?”
Asked the father of above short person and friend since we were both 4 years short. He and said young wiggle-free-youngster failed to refrain from laughing when asking this question. I explained that I was in training to be a real woman and that this involved taking a handbag everywhere. I only managed 2 days in the England before I gave up on the handbag thing, too many short people surrupticiously giggling at me.
“you should be able to climb an E2 without any trouble based on your build and fitness”
I took another swig of wine and grunted. In the UK I only climbed to S (Severe). In the US on indoor walls at 5.8 (equivalent of UK VS, Very Severe). This climber was telling me the only obstacle to my climbing a higher grade was my attitude. Plausible.
“we recognised you from a distance despite the blue hat”
A friend that has known me since I was 5yrs short announced ebulantly. Despite the blue hat? I’d been labouring under the misaprehension that my hats were my most distinguishing feature. Apparantly it’s actually my skinny legs and deportment (wiggly walk). I’d already given up on the handbag thing by now.
“Please kill my fish”
short person while jumping up and down and wringing her hands together. The conversation quickly went down hill from here.
Has curry ever killed anyone?
This excellent question came from my niece and left me picturing people drowning in curry, curry pans falling on people’s heads, people exploding from eating too much curry etc
“I am tall, blonde and tanned”
Having not met or seen photographs of said fellow I was anticipating short and bald with the pants of Khaki Cargo. I made the most of this rare opportunity to feel short again.
“is wearing kharki cargo pants and dark blue t-shirts Microsofts uniform?”
asked by a person unaware of my blog who worked with Microsoft Reading. I replied that its not limited to Microsoft employees…. …I suspect it’s a viral disease… …like overuse of ellipses…
“would you like another cup of tea?… ………..silly question really.”
An old friend who had temporarily lost the plot then regained it after a liberal dose of ellipses.
