Recently I tried to update the credit-card associated with my PayPal account from a US bank credit card to a UK bank credit card. Emabarresedly, I wrote to their help centre to ask how to do this because I wasn’t having much luck.
customer subject: Update my account to show I have moved from the US to the UK
Additional Information: ‘I have moved from the US to the UK, the profile information online does not enable me to enter a new Country. My US credit card information is now innaccurate – does not reflect my current address. I want to update with my new, UK credit card.
Please adjust my account to be UK based
Paypal consumer support supplied this advice
If you would like to a UK credit card and you are located there, you need to create a brand new PayPal account there in UK.
Unsent letter to the Estate Agent, Senior Negotiator, responsible for selling the Wendy House I am currently in the process of buying.
Dear charmless, perspectiveless, stink-making, bottom-crawler,
[censored]… unnecessary phone calls …[Censored]… calling my solicitor, whom you recommended, pedantic for ensuring I do not take-on legal responsibility for the restrictive covenants broken by your client …[CENSORED]… zit on the bollocks of a decaying elephant corpse…[CENSORED]…
May your forever suffer from the ickiest of itchy skin diseases and armpits smell of the purest sulpher to match the stench of the puke spewing forth from your rotten mouth,
Wendy
Call me cowardly, or passive-aggressive, but I no longer bother answering phone-calls from the dragon. The dragon has taught me that answering her calls is more irritating than helpful to anyone. The last of my twice-daily answerphone messages from said bottom-crawler involved her screaming direction for me to call her because… …apparantly… ….my solicitor wasn’t answering her phone calls. I wonder why? Ignoring her calls is contagious…
Did I call the dragon following this unprofessionally delivered demand? No.
If she asks nicely I might just consider calling her… …and pigs might fly ne c’est pas?
Sixty-seven in a non-conversational-style series of posts detailing many reasons for my singleness
Reason #67: conversationally challenged
I haven’t got an engaging commute story, I haven’t got neighbours from hell stories, in the US my food-centric conversations were decidedly below-par, there are times when even I recognise that my conversational skills take a nose-dive, I’m gradually realising that all the stock legitimate popular conversational topics are not part of my standard repetoire.
Trying to make my Wendy House buying story interesting is impossible. Like making a conversation about some-one-elses infants’ tastes in tinned baby food interesting is impossible. Or is it?
The Victora and Albert Library is a living piece of history. A free piblic library where the resources themselves are artefacts of beauty.
The internet provides information, sometimes that information is beautifully packaged in ‘media experiences’. The internet has not yet managed to add to its experience the package offered by old libraries of:
book scent
aging parchment texture
atmosphere of being surrounded by ancient books
the sound of librarian moderated silences
Wendy aged 12 (1975): can I have my ears pierced?
Mumzie: when your are 18yrs
Wendy: will you pay for it?
Mumzie: yes, when you are 18yrs
Wendy: if I pay for it can I have it done now?
Mumzie: yes if I choose the place that you get it done and come with you.
-
Wendy aged 18 (1981): remember you said you’d pay for me to have my ears pierced when I’m 18.
Mumzie: you’ve had them pierced already, I’m not paying for a second piercing, I’ll throw you out, if you get them pierced a second time.
-
Mumsie didn’t notice the second piercing for nearly 6 months. Rather than throw me out she sighed very heavily and used the mumsie version of the Chinese water torture. almost lethal.
The younger generations of the House family have, more topical, gory, body-piercing stories, because time has changed the etiquette of piercings
These are letters and numbers that had no meaning to me before the US lured me to a life of car-commuiting. P60 P45 & UB40 were the numbers that had meaning in my pre-US life.
Tax form numbers and chemical valencies. I’ve always found such things sufficiently challenging to warrant an interpretter. My US interpretter sent me an email today to let me know I am entitled to a $6 refund. Hoorah, enough for a single pint of ale methinks.
I’ve taken to treating myself to a full roast Sunday lunch in the Nags head with Yorkshire pudding and everything for a bargain £6 with a choice of 12 real ales on tap. Luxury. The music is normally very good, um, meaning classics from my teens, last Sunday they played the whole of Dark Side of the Moon over lunch.
For the full experience of Sunday beer, food, friendly people and music, I really recommend the Nags Head just off Oxford Road on Russel Street. The only down-side was the Broccoli but I’ve learned to live with this personal handicap.
Dale Chihouly’s chandeliers are infiltrating big municipal building foyers from the Benaroya hall in Seattle to the Victoria and Albert museum in London’s South Kensington. Have they infiltrated a foyer near you?
Sixty-sixth in a slightly opaque, and yet slightly transparant, series of posts detailing many reasons for my singleness
Reason #66: glass brick fascination
When I saw this wonderful glass brick wall, with the beautiful plain font and circular windows in the door I not only photographed it, I stood their gazing at it for minutes. Taking in the beauty looking like a catatonic crazy woman. This glass wall made me very happy, I may just go and visit it again for a repeat performance. Oh yes, show me a well placed glass-brick and who knows what soppy messes will ensue.
This conversation topic sneaks out over lunches and in pubs. At first I thought it was a reserved conversation amongst friends because while the stories have entertainment value they clearly point to a source of stress in the tellers life. Then recently while buying home and contents insurance from a clerk in my local Reading bank branch:
Bank Clerk (BC): is it a nice home?
Wendy: it needs some work but its detached, no noisey neighbours to worry about
BC: Oh tell me about it! we’ve got the nieghbour from hell she deals crack cocaine and everyone knows about it, last night at about 4am she through a concrete garden boulder at her friends car because they were having an argument, I was lying there praying she didn’t miss and hit my car… …we tried calling the police but they just don’t want to know, there’s nothing you can do… …we’ve asked the council to move us but they can’t… …she leaves her 4 year old child alone in the house while she goes out partying… (and more of the same ilk for approximately 15 mins)
My listening performance was worthy of the type of fees traditionally paid to professional psychiatrists. What friendly approachable, troubled, staff they have at my local bank branch in Reading.
I might just drop into the bank to check she’s ok next time I’m downtown.
The conversation in the Borough of Camden off new Oxford St. near Tottenham Court Road paused for a meditative moment while the sugar caramelised over the absinth then the Perrier water mixed with the sugar.
I treasure these simple exotic moments.
The Natural History Museum, originally opened in 1881 and now open 7 days a week, free to everyone. It’s got Mammoth skeletons, literally, Mammoth! Designed by a young manchester architect, Alfred Waterhouse, the building itself is a work of art. Arches have spines and unique varied animals climbing them.
There are no rules posted about the use of cameras which meant I got a tiny-bit snap-happy.
At Reading central post office parcel pick-up office the staff have improvised a helpful variety of signs to ensure parcel picker-uppers understand what is expected of them. I skim-read all of the signs looking for the words ‘camera’ and ‘photograph’. None of them said ‘no photography’. Phew. After rummaging for a good five minutes in all my pockets just because that is the sort of thing I like to do in public places, I took this photograph.
The young lad you can see in the royal-mail red uniform t-shirt stopped looking at his computer and came up to the counter when he saw me pull the camera out. In all the excitement I had not actually looked at what the signs did tell me. He asked me for my identification. I did not have my identification ready, with perhaps the exception of my fingerprints which are always available. He sighed heavily as I searched through my pockets to pull out my shiny new pink, yes PINK, UK drivers license. These are the signs that I later read:
- do not use your mobile phone while waiting to be served. Thankyou.
- please have your identificiation ready.
- do not use your mobile phone while waiting to be served. Thankyou.
- please have your identification ready.
- no smoking.
- please have your identification ready.
Three signs with the same message, the message that I didn’t read. I guess a lot of people don’t read this message and the staff possibly hope that putting up another sign will solve the problem of everyone waiting while the person at the front of the line searches for their ID. Like I did.
Incase there is any confusion amongst my regular and irregualr readers I’d like to clarify that apart from picking-up the occassional parcel I’m still single.
Commuting is by far the most popular local conversational topic, everyone can weave a story about the time, the traffic, the mode of transport, and details of obstacles on the route. Bus numbers, train stations, connections, services. These conversations happen over lunch, during work breaks, on blogs, at bus-stops, train stations, in pubs, cafes and homes. The conversations are littered with amusing anecdotes and demonstrations of the commuters wyle and frustrations.
I will have to work on perfecting my currently short, colourful-engaging-anecdote-free, story of a 15 minute brisk walk to a Thames-Valley Park (TVP) free bus and notable-eventless ride. Short, easy commute stories just don’t cut the conversational-biscuit here.
one bus makes advances to the back of another one and the whole world gets commercially romantic.
Consider this post a freebie of affection, bought to you by public transport.
Happy Valentines day to all who made my visitors statsitics swell,
you are swell
Reason 65 in a slowly emerging series detailing the reasons why I am currently not diddling with anyone.
Reason #65: slow learner
An unpleasant flavour mixed with the mild dizziness of nausea and a desire to be elsewhere. What prompts such an unpleasant physical reaction? Not the graphic goriness of Sweeny Todd but the sight of a small beautiful old pub in Nottingham, Bell Inn, where I spent many happy evenings in the early 90’s with my then intended and one enduring love. Who would have guessed that nearly 20 years later the sudden evocation of those happy memories would prompt such an unpleasant physical reaction? I begin to understand why over the years we’ve exchanged letters rather than met for lunch.
I’m a slow learner….
Mansfield chap said:
I knew a Scottish girl that lived in the US for 6 years, she’d start a conversations with ‘HI’ and talk a weird mix of American and Scottish getting more Scottish as she kept talking.
After 8 years in the US you don’t even have a slight twang.
what happened?
Henry (Father) Willis and Sons’ firm of pipe organ builders have thier own Wikipedia entry that features a photograph of the Reading town hall, Concert hall, organ. It also lists many notable Cathedral’s that feature Willis organs (e.g. Canterbury).
I’ve heard all of 2…. …..3, …no 4 unexpected Readibus proudly display their knowledge of the town’s possession of a father Willis organ.
Now I’d like to see, hear, this celebrity vibrating the concert hall with beautiful music…
according an an American friend, a few Brits I’ve asked and Gary Lineker the crisps here are impressive.
I lost half a stone while living in the US and my shoe-size mysteriously dropped from UK size 7 to 6. No more with the fat-feet!
Can you guess why I lost this weight and how long before I revert to my pre-US, UK, sizes?
In the quiet zone a
baby cries
phone sings
headset treble-beat twangs
A couple of work colleagues converse flirtatiously
Wendy wonders at the shift in the meaning of quiet….
peperami sausage, John Smiths and 4 Eccles cakes can keep the menorrhea at bay
Soda crystals, the packet says ‘cleaning solutions for 200 years’.
Dad says it is also sold in the UK as ‘Baking powder’ and ‘Bicarbonate of Soda’. This means the same product can clean your drains and help you bake a cake, how versataile is that?
Hooray for Soda Crystals, for all your baking and cleaning needs. No brand name required.
Sweeny Todd offers a gigantic range of different pies at the pictured local Reading Pie Shop and a very dark film, most distubing gory visual details, I had to look away on multiple occassions and I’m not that squeamish.
coordinating a US based
- cat foster home carer,
- UK approved shipper
- vetinary care and cerification
from the UK to get my kitties into the UK is like juggling ferrets,
tricky, and they have sharp teeth
Not an affectionate hand gesture, a book press.
Small press’ such as Reading’s own ‘Two Rivers Press’ can target selling their publications to interest groups, niche markets. Two Rivers probably refers to the river Kennet and Thames that meet in downtown Reading.
It publishes works that have general intereast and local significance, for example, Adam Sowan’s history of street names ‘Abbatoirs Road to Zinzan Street’, the works of the Reading local, international, performance poet (AFH), and historical treasures such as history and analysis of what is thought to be the oldest written song in English (circa 13th century). The manuscript of the song, a ‘rota’, was found in Reading Abbey and now lives in the British Museum.
A wonderful pocket-sized book with many thematic block-prints and ebulant multilayered interpretations of the meanings of the rota. A rota is a song intended to be sung in a round of several people…. Wikipedia describes the Reading Rota in a rather dull descriptive manner, the author of the Two Rivers book explores possibilities with a cheeky enthusiasm and passion that makes the book a pleasure to read, its style is pixie-years beyond Wikipedia.
…Sumer is icumin in…. there has been much singing in a broad Bristolian burr in the Wendy House recently, though I haven’t managed to do the minimum 2 or three voices required for a rota. I am, at least, not scaring the cats who defintiely prefer me not to sing in their presence.
How apt that a small press based in Reading should publish a book about a hand written document found in Reading long ago.
An excellent evening with Barry Norman.
Ratings explained
Barry recently spoke at Reading Concert Hall supplying interesting trivia about four classic films, Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, The Adventures of Robin Hood and Dirty Harry. Trivia included casting preferances for key roles, why directors and screen writers were changed and cast members reflections. The ending of Casablanca was written while it was being filmed, writer and cast did not know how the film would end. The Atlanta burning scene in Gone with the wind was made by burning all the old sets on the studio lot. The Adventures of Robin Hood was filmed in California, the lush greeness of the grass in the film was a special effect, painting the film.
After an interlude Barry answered questions from the crowded concert hall audience. Two charming silver haired ladies mustered all their deft to pass microphones amongst the audience.
Barry’s answers to questions of the form ‘name your favourite [e.g. actress, director, film... ]‘ and ‘I know a lot about obscure film trivia[e.g. what the most expensive never-finished film]‘ produced a recognisable, normally unarticulated, analysis of recent cinematic trends including:
- praising the decade of the 1970’s as the last decade that produced a substantial proportion of films aimed more at a thinking audience, Easy Rider as an example, rahter than at the mass audience of cinema attendess, 18-25yrs, that seek light entertainment.
- mentioning that the 6 main film distributers that supply the UK are US distributers that naturally prefer to promote their own, US, products. The distributer for Cyrano De Bergerac called him to thank him for repeatedly mentioning the quality of this French language film because it helped get distribution in the UK.
- TV programs that review films are prone presenting available celebrity interviews, current film promotions, at the expense of balanced critical analysis.
Writing Instruments
including pens and pencils
excluding typewriters, keyboards or other electronic writing instruments.
Instruments just for writing. No drawing incase the writing instruments revolt, explode or splat all over your bestest jumper. I think they’re planning to ambush my clothes.
Readibus that use the internet to find local resources will know immediately what I’m typing about, how to effectively find out about
‘blah’ in Reading’
Initially this is what I would type into a search-box: blah Reading
Half the results would be about reading blah not blah in or aound Reading. Another half of the results would be about one of the many US Readings, and about 10% MORE were about other ex-colonies who wanted to pay tribute to this fabulous town by calling themselves Reading. Local results were almost impossible to find in the deluge of miss-readings.
I refined my search criteria to: blah Reading Berkshire
This simply shifted the proportions of results. About 80% of results were about Reading, Berkshire, PA (USA) the rest were about reading with an address in one of the Berkshires.
