Feb 28 2008
here be dragons
Unsent letter to the Estate Agent, Senior Negotiator, responsible for selling the Wendy House I am currently in the process of buying.
Dear charmless, perspectiveless, stink-making, bottom-crawler,
[censored]… unnecessary phone calls …[Censored]… calling my solicitor, whom you recommended, pedantic for ensuring I do not take-on legal responsibility for the restrictive covenants broken by your client …[CENSORED]… zit on the bollocks of a decaying elephant corpse…[CENSORED]…
May your forever suffer from the ickiest of itchy skin diseases and armpits smell of the purest sulpher to match the stench of the puke spewing forth from your rotten mouth,
Wendy
Call me cowardly, or passive-aggressive, but I no longer bother answering phone-calls from the dragon. The dragon has taught me that answering her calls is more irritating than helpful to anyone. The last of my twice-daily answerphone messages from said bottom-crawler involved her screaming direction for me to call her because… …apparantly… ….my solicitor wasn’t answering her phone calls. I wonder why? Ignoring her calls is contagious…
Did I call the dragon following this unprofessionally delivered demand? No.
If she asks nicely I might just consider calling her… …and pigs might fly ne c’est pas?
here be dragons
Wow, what led up to her behaving like this? Is this your estate agent, or the seller’s? (Sounds like she is your agent…) What’s all this about broken covenants? Sounds like a biblical saga to me!
PS: I think it’s “n’est-ce pas”. (Thanks Mr. Russell, my French teacher…)