wendy house

Bros 1957: Wendy, do you remember what we were doing at this time on September 11th 1979?

Wendy: Errr…..um…  …not really,  what were we doing Bros 1957?

Bros 1957:  Oh!  You don’t remember!

Bros can produce an ‘Oh’ packed with emotional messages.  It’s a family trait.  He was genuinely very suprised that I didn’t remember what we were doing at a specific time on a specific day nearly 10 years earlier

Wendy: Nope.  I can guess but it would be based on probablities that things I remeber happened at that time.  What were we doing then?

Bros 1957: We were having a family sauna at a ski resort in Inari, Finland 

Wendy:  I remember the Sauna.  How do you remember the exact date and time?

Bros 1957: because it was exactly 10,000* days ago (huge smile)

Bros 1957 has a fantastic ability to remember time and events together, he’s published an eponymous moon-based calendar.

* dates have been changed because I can’t remember them

IT Professional:  can you get the internet into your computer?

Wendy:  Into your computer?!!  please, can I blog that ?

IT Professional:  yeah sure,  it can be like getting toothpaste back into the tube

The IT professionals here have a wonderfully colourful way of describing the technology in non-technical terms.  Especially colourful if they have scottish accents which, strangely, most of them seem to have.

animadversions is not a creative pastiche of

• animal
• advert
• versions

Animadversions is used by the Foriegn Office (FO) to describe the contents of the last despatch (message) by the British Ambassador to Oslo in 1975, Ralph Selby.  For Ralph, being a diplomat was a family business, his father and wife’s grandfather were ambassadors.  The style of expression within the despatch is rather fun,  I particularly liked this phrase

‘I agree with the gentleman who’s signature resembles a trombone’

In honour of this outstanding phrase I am considering changing my signature to resemble a swan.

Ralph’s animadversions included

• Newer diplomats did not put sufficient time and effort into studying languages
• Diplomats circulate way too much paper “the flood of paper which has grown in a single generation is fantastic”
• Diplomat’s wives are not paid for their valuable contributions – this disadvantages diplomats who’s wives choose to have a career.
• Domestic staff are exensive and time-demanding ‘I do not nowadays find it easy to recruit staff who are willing to lick other people’s boots’
• Retirement provisions are insufficient
• There is a temptation to eat and drink well – exercise is needed “our specific calling’s snare is drink; and it is profoundly depressing to see the number of members of the service who are engaged in the process of destroying themselves by it“
• Not enough freedom of thought 

Why I love England #12: distinctive seasons

Some long daylight days,  some long evenings,  changing colours,  smells, temperatures,  ….feel.  I love how the changes bring different moods and experiences.

In my day,  before personal cell phones,  there would be one phone in any household, if you were Lucky.  All incoming calls came through this one, shared, phone.  In our house the parents answered the phone until, as teenagers, our friends started to call us (rather than their parents calling our parents). 

Shared phone

Skillfullly avoiding parental or sibling interview of people calling-in was tricky.  It is a skill today’s youngsters have not had to learn.    The role of phone sanitizers has also been reduced by the relative lack of phone sharing.  I can’t remember the last time I called a number then asked ‘Is [name] there?‘

Department S sang Is Vic there?

please think carefully before being moved to leave a comment

Thankyou

Wendy: what do you do? 

Professional: I work in the manufacturing business sector for a food production company

Wendy: what do you manufacture?

Professional: Bread

Wendy: a bakery?

Professional: yes

the email said:

“The Internet is now up and running“

and included this little bundle of politeness

“we thank you all for your patience and apologise for the inconvenience this has caused“

The internet is often used to let me know whether the internet is, or isn’t, taking pat in the race today.

Wandering around the stunningly topiaried gardens of a stately seat in Kent. There some some significant, and in significant, discoveries:

• a pole dancing topiary bear
• a Virgin balloon full of hot stagnent air
• Woodwormed Jacobean panels beside a spiral stair
• Ms Scarlet’s radical stealth mohican-style crop of not-ginger hair
• some bushes (not Scarlet’s)

Soap episode 2

Gail: Hiya Andy,  can I drop by now for a couple of hours,  you can ply me with mugs of tea
Andy:  Hello Gail,  yeah, you’re welcome, but I should warn you that I have a bad cold 

Gail: Oh,  do you want me to ply you with tea,  lemsips and read the Sunday papers aloud?
Andy:  Oh yes please,  if you don’t mind my being in bed, sneezing and snoozing

Gail: Stud! Can I tell people I spent Sunday morning in your bedroom,  with you in bed.  I know some girls who will simply die with envy when they hear
Andy: Sure.  you must tell me about these girls so that I can earn the title – Stud

Gail: No-can-tell, I was made to promise,  you’ll have to sniff them out yourself
Andy: Come on over now, help do some sniffing

John Peel once described ‘another girl, another planet’ as an artful little caprice.

I’ve always rather fancied that the other planet is planet Wendy

Planet Wendy is definitely a good place to be another girl

the only ones sang another girl, another planet

The imaginarium of Dr Parnassus  is a wonderful modern faerie tale.  It mixes classic structures and characters (Old Nick) with modern settings, language, and characters. 

review ratings explained

Plot:  Very good.  A classic style of storytelling,  a new story.  A bet with the devil.  Souls to be won or lost.  The classic framework provides the structure that makes the plot easy to follow.  Easy to follow but not overly predictable.  Cunning plans and twists.  There is uncertainty about the virtue and honesty of some characters.  Who is working with, for, Nick?  The film holds a cheeky mirror to modern values as it portrays our dreams.   

Gilliam does not write his female characterisations in as much depth as his male characters. There is only one noteable female character in the film.  Her contribution is central to the plot while the role is hardly touched and seems superficial.  Lets call her a token women.  A pretty girl that needs rescuing. Sigh. A blot on an otherwise wonderful film. 

A related disappointment was the pedestrian ending to the main storyline.  The final scenes felt a bit anemic.  The scenes tied-up the damsel’s storyline quickly and neatly.  This felt forced and out-of-keeping with the plucky playing in the other, mainly male, storylines.  There are many wonderful ways that Terry could have ended the film.  I suspect Gilliam’s creative freedom was somehow compromised. 

Cast: Excellent.  Performances that had the kind of depth that comes from allowing talented actors to develop, improvise and extend their characters.  Apparently Heath Ledger’s last line before he died was ‘Don’t shoot the Messenger’ and Jonny Depp improvised the same line when playing Ledger’s character in the imaginarium. 

Sets. Excellent.  Physical locations included some of my favourite places, such as Ledenhall market in London and the Public Library in Vancouver BC.  The contrast between the architecture in these two locations was used well as a visual clue to different tones, temperaments, stages of the plot.

The animated sets were breath taking.  Apparantly breathtaking animated sets are the norm for widely distributed films by famous directors with excellent casts.  Jolly good. Thoroughly enjoyable.  Lots of ooOOOooooze and aaAAARRRRSSSssse.

Within the imaginarium these fantasy sets had the beauty, unpredictability and the ominousness of real dreams.  

Audience:  one thing that interferred with my total immersion in this fabulous film was the audience.  Specifically,  the lady sat next to me.  She insisted on sniffing loudly at 1spm (1 sniff per minute).  Every few minutes there was a cough, sneeze, or other substantial air movement in her facial regions.  She did have some props for this activity, tissues, but the noise and potential infection kept drawing me out of the film into an unpleasant reality.  Ick. 

I will be watching this film again.

programs are aborted

processes hang, are hung, then killed

and data is executed

I wonder whether anything is slaughtered, murdered, guillotined, or assassinated by abbatoir processes. Maybe things are slowly drawn, quartered and impaled.

Jill: do you think he’s handsome?
Gail:  Handsome isn’t quite the word I’d use,  cute, good looking,  cheeky,  maybe.  Those dimples, pale green eyes and tight perky bum are a class above the other boys

Jill: is he your boyfriend?
Gail:  NO! Why d’you think that?

Jill: Well,  I saw you holding hands and you’re always hanging-out together after school
Gail: no,  he’s just a friend, I keep thinking I should fancy him,  what with him being so pretty and all,  but I don’t…  …don’t know why

Jill: are you gay?
Gail: don’t think so, I don’t fancy any girls

Jill: do you fancy any boys?
Gail: no.  It’s really disappointing,  I keep hoping that it’s just because I haven’t met the right boy yet,  but how many boys do you have to meet?  Everyone else seems to find people to go out with and snog in the corridors. 

Jill: what about Andy?  He’s nice, tall, funny and clever, there’s a whole load of girls want to go out with him,  you sit next to him in maths and history and you go round his place after class, some of the girls are really jealous
Gail: Really?!  He’d love to know that,  can I tell him? 

Jill: NO!  way-too embarassin’
Gail: You too?!   Why can’t I see it, whatever it is that he has that you all fancy

In 1979 I realised the full implications of an electric friend.  Charged with excitement and a six pack of batteries I wasn’t too sure where I could get my hands on an electric friend.  I settled for some curling tongs instead.  This probably explains much of my subsequent love life.

Tubeway army sang ‘Are friends electric‘

Hamptop Court Palace has the most modern visitor facilities, including a buggy park. 

I noticed this rogue buggy parking to the right of the official buggy park.

According to CNET news  Microsoft will release something called ‘forefront endpoint protection’.  I suspect this will protect your pumpkins from frost damage on their extremities.

Mumzie:  come next door with me,  to feed the goldfish

Wendy: yes please,  how is she?

Mumzie: she died last week. 

Her children thought they’d inherit the house, were planning to move in.  They would have been good neighbours.  But she had a reverse mortgage which means the bank owns the house and is selling it.

A company called Helvata puts barcodes on trees in forrests then tracks where they go.  The provenance of your garden furniture could be traceable back to a Bolivian forrest!

Hands keep spontaneously debagging

Should I lend these hands to other bags?

Mumzie drives to another town to pick-up the only Rye crisp-bread that Dad considers to be like real Finnish Rye bread.

The myriad of quirky little things my parents do for each other shows they are still in love, 52 years after getting married.

An outstanding little bouncy song with an optimisitc message for people who are near the bottom.

Yazz sang The only way is up

British Gas sent a comedy duo round to deal with my Sparky sockets, 

The conversation quickly turned from morbid diagnstic

British Gas Electician (BGE):  how do you know this socket is the problem?

Wendy: the cascade of sparks that came out of it when the fuse blew

BGE: what time of day was this?

Wendy: dusk

BGE: Sparks always look worse in the dark.  Oh, now THAT is BLACK!  Simon,  come and look at this

Simon: You wouldn’t BELIEVE some of the things we see….

BGE: the socket’s not earthed

Simon: Once we went into this house where…

British Gas sent a comedy duo round to deal with my Sparky sockets. 

British Gas Electician (BGE):  My cat died yesterday,  he was 15,

Wendy: Matrix is 15

BGE: he looks it

Wendy:  (silence)

I didn’t know which way to turn.