crapper quality criteria

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shorty by the doorWe’ve already established that I have a healthy interest in the design, reference to, and use of Toilets.

So you can imagine my excitement when  Ms. Scarlet recently introduced a series of blog posts called the “Friday Flush. Scarlet will be the ‘mystery shopper’ in loos all over the South West and beyond. Excellent! As part of this  investigative journalism Scarlet has invited commenters to suggest assessment criteria for the loos being investigated.  I was having so much fun with thinking of criteria I think I’ve probably gone a little over the top, what do you think?

Aroma intensity (none <-> faint-inducing)
Aroma type (pleasant <-> acrid)
Discoverability (hidden with no signs – entrance embarressingly visible)
Drafts (Gale force 9 <-> still)
Drying technology (bring your own  <-> fresh fluffy towels provided)
Functionality (incomplete <-> swish)
Mould factor (none <-> suspicious stuff growing all over the show)
Price (free <-> entry turn style requires exact cash)
Privacy (airtight and sound-proofed  <-> ankles and feet exposed and splashes clearly audible)
Resources (bring your own <->plush)
Space ( breath in <-> synchronised wheel-chair choreography is a realistic possibility)
Sociability (one at a time please <-> sofa’s and social games provided)
Sparkle (matt <-> bum-fluff refelction)
Splash factor (dry <-> soaked)
Style (dead rat <-> yummy)
Temperature (Ice on the water <-> Oven)
Washing (taps/fawcetts  dont work <-> they even have a b-day!)
Wit (no smiles <-> laughed my pants-off)

crapper quality criteria
1 vote rating 1

11 bits of lovely banter on “crapper quality criteria”

  1. ExpatEgghead writes:

    Comprehensive rather than ott. The Wit entry had me puzzled. Just what is it that females get up to in toilets? Does Oscar Wilde hang out there?

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    wendy writes

    sometimes the graffitti can be extremely funny…

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  2. Scarlet writes:

    Excellent Wendy! I am adding discoverability to my criteria… and whether or not I have to ask for the location of the Ladies when in a pub/restaurant/Shell garage as I had drawing attention to the fact that I’m bursting for the toilet. How many cubicles and whether there’s a queue could be another factor. I am sure I will be making it up as I go along! But all imput is helpful.
    SX

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    wendy writes

    Queues! YES, That’s when I tend to nip in the mens

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  3. James Sutherland writes:

    That sounds like a good project to me – although having mentioned ‘temperature’, it seems remiss to omit checking whether it has a nice sensible mixer tap, so you can get a non-painful temperature, or forces a choice between third degree burns and frostbite, as all the ones I have found in UK railway stations do: the hot tap is very, very hot, the cold one is very, very cold, and with a wide space between them and no plug, there is no compromise on offer. Quite why they do this, I don’t know – the UK has unusually sadistic plumbers?

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    wendy writes

    Ah, I remember before the days of mixer taps… train stations loos are often museum pieces…

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  4. Vee writes:

    Tap water temperature is definitely a big one. The worst case is when the water is boiling hot and they put this message warning you about how hot it is (rather than actually doing anything about it).

    Make sure you cover the hooks in the cubicle to hang your bag in one of the criteria and locking vs propping.

    Space could be viewed in the context of fitness for purpose, e.g. an airport toilet has to comfortably fit a suitcase, but this is not necessary in a restaurant.

    How about eco-friendliness (size of flush, hand drying mechanism, etc)? Another one is accessibility – not just the presence of an accessible toilet, but also the height of sinks, hand-dryers, the way to the..

    Other than that – a great list 😀

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    wendy writes

    cubicle hooks – a good catch!

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  5. Brian writes:

    At first I thought of security against bathroom criminals trying to steal supplies, but as a user of the facilities that’s not an issue. That’s more a job for the maintainer of the facilities.

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    wendy writes

    some loos have CCTV!

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  6. Scarlet writes:

    Blimey!! I will have to link here for all the good suggestions! I have a couple of pics for this Friday… I will be up late Thursday writing my in-depth report about the Ladies toilets in a well known store in Exeter.
    Sx

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