the ‘H’ word

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After each conversational turn he leant forward and touched my knee. I tried not to flinch at this intrusive, well-meant gesture. My coat still buttoned, legs and arms crossed against the cold of the unheated large Victorian parlour. Words like ‘hysterectomy’ conjur up strong images of knives and blood. To say that I flinched at the word would be an understatement. I fired the phrase NO INVASIVE SURGERY. My words ricochet around the uncarpetted consultation room. Not that the doctor was suggesting a hysterectomy, no,no, no, just raising my awareness of possibilities… …decisions come after a more thorough diagnosis. Diagnosis based on scans and tests conducted with grandly named ugly equipment referred to by, hopefully, obscure acronyms

My overreaction noted, he adjusted his conversational tone to include flattering my ego and being concerned. A good strategy for dealing with me

..there has to be a reason why and intelligent, mature woman like you….

He cited the evidence of my non-conformity to NHS quota filling activities. I felt like a school child being told-off for not having done their homework. It’s not a feeling I’m used to, I’m normally very keen to get my homwork done on time and to a a high standard. The last time I’d talked about this was 7 years ago, to my brother. His immediate reaction had been ‘cut it out!’. I was stunned at his eagreness to have me chopped-up when there wasn’t a convincing need for it. Surgery was just one option. I made a mental note – never delegate decisions about my health to my brother. Seven years ago, the USA health insurance paid-for doctor agreed the best way forward was my preferred choice of “lets wait and see“. Procrastination doesn’t come easily to me… except in this case… ….another new experience…

Now we’re having the “see” part, after 7 years of the “wait” part. I suspect the original doctor wouldn’t approve of a 7 year wait. But in all fairness to me, we hadn’t specified a time frame. I’m hoping the outcome will not be surgery and trying desperately not to overreact

Generally I’m failing

 

 


8 bits of lovely banter on “the ‘H’ word”

  1. Scarlet writes:

    I you had seen the fuss I made over a silly tooth, then imagine the fuss I’d be making over something more serious. Big decisions shouldn’t be made lightly.
    In fairness, since I’ve had the tooth removed, I no longer get neck pain or peculiar twinges in seemingly unrelated parts of my head. We all hope that medical irregularities will bugger off on their own accord, most of the time they probably do… and sometimes they don’t.
    If you need someone then you know where I am.
    Sx

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  2. wendy writes:

    thanks Scarlet! when the test-y stuff is over I may well come down to visit for a dose of common-sense :-)

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  3. Happy Frog and I writes:

    I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this and I can completely understand why you would want to take plenty of time before making a decision. I’m sure you will make the right one for you when you are ready, but I hope that when the final results come in surgery isn’t even part of the equation.

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    wendy writes

    Happyfrog, your ability to express empathy is as impressive as always. The next stage involves lots of fancy drugs, I’m looking forward to the wierd perceptual experiences… the doctor said don’t drive… sounds like it might be quite a good ride!

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  4. Scriptor Senex writes:

    I have at last got around to posting on my blog about the Sylvac bunnies and using the pictures you kindly gave me oermission for, By chance the posting is about when my Mother refused to follow the advice of the health professionals and I am living proof 62 years later that all was well. I hope all goes well with you and thanks again for allowing me to use the photos.

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    wendy writes

    Hi Scriptor, thanks for asking, many people think of pictures on the internet as public property so it’s really nice to have someone ask and give me a link to where the picture is used, like a modern form of old fashioned courtesy, nice post, and thanks for the encouragement!

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  5. Kay Guest writes:

    Hello!
    You left a comment on Scriptor’s blog and that is how I found you.
    I am too of an age when I might be having a similar conversation with a doctor. I am kind of in the camp of “let’s just let my body do what it wants to do and not do anything unnatural with it”. But then, if I start feeling any pain or if I am shown an unnatural growth inside my body, then I am in the “get me all the drugs you can and cut it out” side of the situation! So, in other words, just let the tests show what they show and you will make the right decision and will be happy and at peace with it.
    There, you see, free medical advice. Isn’t life wonderful?

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    wendy writes

    Hi Kay, nce to meet you! You made me chuckle. I am looking forward to the drugs for the tests….exploring altered states while in medical care seems rather fun… it’s the knives I’m not happy about, but if there’s laser treatment to be had….that might keep me in a ‘have a go’ mood…

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