short termism

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A sharply frosty new year’s morning. Glowing from a sociable celebration in my local pub, stumbling homeward bound along Love Lane with my first, second and third boyfriend. One boy, a ringer for James Dean:

James Dean Ringer (JDR): will you marry me?

17 yr wendy: Oh! Yes! after I’ve finished my A levels and got my degree

JDR: Why? Why can’t we get married this summer?

wendy: marriage is for life – we’ve got a lifetime to get married. Waiting 4 years is nothing as part of a whole life time. We’ll be able to save up for a home together and I’ll be able to get a job to help out financially

JDR: If you don’t want to marry me this summer, then it’s over

wendy: Huh? Are you serious? I’ll love you whether we’re married or not. I’m not going to marry you as a way to stop you from leaving! If you’re going to leave, you’ll leave, if you want to stay, you’ll stay

I never saw him again. It broke my heart because I didn’t understand how he could propose a lifetime together one moment then leave in the next. Most baffling. In the following years he sent valentines cards from four different continents. I remember him fondly

4 bits of lovely banter on “short termism”

  1. Kay Guest writes:

    Wendy,
    You were only 17? Goodness me, I would have thought he was kidding! What is the English expression… “pull the other one”.
    Happy Valentine’s Day!

       0 likes

    [reply]

  2. Scarlet writes:

    I too am baffled by this one…. I wonder where he is now?
    Sx

       0 likes

    [reply]

  3. Grumps writes:

    I, too, remember and wonder.

    I wonder who’s kissing her now,
    Wonder who’s teaching her how?
    Wonder who’s looking in to her eyes?
    Breathing sighs!
    Telling lies!
    I wonder if she’s got a boy?
    The girl who once filled me with joy,
    Wonder if she ever tells him of me?
    I wonder who’s kissing her now?

       0 likes

    [reply]

  4. wendy writes:

    wonder full!

       0 likes

    [reply]

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