apply a mechanical clock

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Mechanical clocks should be available on the NHS because of their outstanding health problem diagnostic qualities. No home should be without at least one.

Grandma's ClockMechanical clocks that strike and chime have been blamed for causing some people sleep disruption. This diagnosis is actually an  “Urban Legend“. In pre-urban venacular it’s:

Pish, tush and nonsense

A chiming or striking clock is actually an early warning system for potentially dangerous health problems.  These clocks will only disrupt sleep when one or more of the following pre-conditions applies – the person presenting the  clock-disrupted sleep symptoms is:

  1. not actually tired (sedentry lifestyle)
  2. profoundly troubled by something else (Freudian displacement theory)
  3. change intolerant (lacking awareness of Habituation theory)

The clock has actually uncovered the easily treatable conditions that are presenting as sleep disruption.  Treatments are

  1. exercise until your body is tired
  2. friends –  to help find out what’s troubling you, and explore possible solutions. If this isn’t possible the NHS does provide counsellors, clinical psychologists and psychiatrists but you’ll probably have to wait until the problem blows beyond the clock-stops-sleep symptoms before you can acess these professional services
  3. patience – it takes time for people habituate to new environments, new sounds

This consultation was provided free of charge by Dr Wendy

Thankyou

apply a mechanical clock
1 vote rating 5

2 bits of lovely banter on “apply a mechanical clock”

  1. Will Watts writes:

    Hear, hear! I shall print that out and pin it to my neighbour’s door later on.

    Also: if it so happens that you are plagued by the blues in the night (despite what your Mama done tole you when you was in pigtails http://youtu.be/OL809W4Cl4E ) then you can be a little comforted by the nightwatchclocks’ friendly cries: Three o’clock and all is well, Four o’clock and hanging in there, Five o’clock and Radio 4 starts up soon.

    A friend, borrowing my sofa one night, demanded that I ‘switch my clocks off’. I could have had him for inappropriate language.

    Fox cubs playing rugby football with the garbage, on the other hand, is a genuine cause of sleep disruption. Fun to watch, but messy in the morning.

       1 likes

    [reply]

    wendy writes

    “the clock is switched on” tee hee

       0 likes

    [reply]

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