kilt wickednesses

tags: , , ,

Kilted guestsOwning a kilt is not all about a big song and dance. There are some sneaky little down sides to the experience which I suspect many a non-kilt wearer is wise to.

These are the reasons why I haven’t yet bought a woollen kilt, they:

  • are rather itchy (but I could wear thick tights or an underskirt to deal with this)
  • smell of damp wool when it’s raining (don’t wear it outside in the rain)
  • need to be dry-cleaned occasionally (that’s not too expensive and inconvenient)

The main kilt use challenge that I hadn’t anticipated is based on using the kilt with modern sanitary technology – the toilet.

Stop reading now if you have an aversion to toilet talk.

With a normal skirt a girl can simply lift the rear of the skirt and hold it up while taking a seat on the toilet – so the skirt never touches the toilet. Clean and neat. Not so with a kilt. There is so much material in the pleats that no matter where you grab it, the sides fall right back down gain. Cool! But not cool when you want to sit on  the loo without dangling it down the pan.

A kilt works for a squatting position above the pan, or squatting when there is no pan – in the wild where it was originally used.  I’ve adjusted my posture when wearing the kilt in the washrooms over the pan so that I stay standing and flick the kilt op over my back while leaning forward – this lets the wealth of material lie across my back.  This position requires more directional skill during the process than sitting down, but works to keep the kilt clean and out of the way.

you have been warned


11 bits of lovely banter on “kilt wickednesses”

  1. p-g writes:

    Reading your post of 1/12/2012, I was going to suggest that you posted a video; but today – not now!

       1 likes

    [reply]

  2. Zed writes:

    I’ve always wondered how on earth women manage on squat toilets abroad. The times I used one in India, I had to take my trousers off. I’ve no idea how they do it in a sari, especially with no paper to mop up afterwards.

    Tights would be fine to remove itchiness, but I suspect an underskirt would reduce warmth?

       1 likes

    [reply]

  3. von lx writes:

    Given the tenting effect, the kilt seems perfect for outdoor calls of nature in complete privacy and with discretion!

       2 likes

    [reply]

  4. wendy writes:

    I’ve always found the ‘Haka’ position is good for squatting, it works with a kilt over a pan, but this doesn’t work with trousers.

       0 likes

    [reply]

  5. B-u-x writes:

    Wendy, oh Wendy….the visuals that this post conjured up, just don’t bear thinking about, (especially not now when it’s -12 outside!)

    Bx

       1 likes

    [reply]

    wendy writes

    BUX! that’s too cold to even imagine – a kilt’s no good for you, fleece-lined pants for you…

       1 likes

    [reply]

  6. Kay G. writes:

    Hmmm…could you not lift the kilt up and envelop yourself like a cupcake?

       2 likes

    [reply]

    wendy writes

    Kay, handstands would get the cupcake effect, but not such a good position for relieving oneself…

       2 likes

    [reply]

    Stefan writes

    Talk about visuals being conjured up …..

       1 likes

    [reply]

  7. wendy writes:

    I can do impressionistic sketches if required

       1 likes

    [reply]

  8. savannah writes:

    i can honestly say i have never given any thought to this, sugar! i would have thought it would have been just like wearing a regular skirt! obviously, i was massively incorrect! ;~) xoxoxox

       1 likes

    [reply]

share your wonderful musings

*
To prove you're a person (not a spam script), type the security word shown in the picture. Click on the picture to hear an audio file of the word.
Anti-spam image