beware of breakfast bouncers

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breakfast bouncer: What room are you in?

wendy: 118

breakfast bouncer: I don’t know that room

wendy: maybe it’s floor 1 room 18? My check-in card says 118 (holds-up check-in card)

After checking my name a hefty line was drawn through the paper sheet that listed the breakfast sentences of hotel guests.

breakfast bouncer: just to let you know, the toaster’s not working, do you want white or brown toast?

wendy: (confused, pauses)

breakfast bouncer: DO you WANT white or BROWN toast?

Wendy: Brown, please?

The bouncer sent me to my seat with an instructive arm wave. Minutes later returning to tell me I could get myself tea and fruit juice. Timidly, I left my allotted cell and made myself a tea. Sometimes it can be a bit of a trial not pissing-off the British breakfast bouncers.

Today I failed.

beware of breakfast bouncers
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3 bits of lovely banter on “beware of breakfast bouncers”

  1. Paul G. writes:

    The expression involves an adult female sheep and an item to keep ships in one place…



  2. Indigo Roth writes:

    Hey Wendy! What a arse! I hope you gave him some of the ol’ Reading Remembrance? You know, a bit like a Glasgae Kiss, but with extra forehead? Indigo



    wendy writes

    Indigo, the person of inderterminate gender was too short (under 5″2) to head-butt without breaking my not insubstantial nose. Thier life was probably already tough, that attitude can’t help find happiness…. W



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