NEXT self dissemble

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instructions first pageThe delivery man carried my cupboard on his shoulder. Even before it arrived in my hall I’d realised that it was self-assembly. My heart dropped. At the price charged for the cupboard I hadn’t expected Self-assembly, I hadn’t anticipated spending Saturday morning with a screwdriver. Sigh.

Page 1 of 20 Is the cupboard that difficult to construct?

2 people, as tools, to construct it?  I’m offended at being called a tool, I want my cupboard today and my friends, who are not tools may not be available to help me for emergency cupboard assembly….

2 screwdrivers, phew, I’m equipped. Actually I also needed a hammer for inserting dowels and a pair of pliers to removing pieces inserted in the wrong place due to design asymmetry and instruction ambiguity. Now I understand why the sales person was so keen to sell me insurance against getting the furniture scratched.

Helpline?! Goodness, it must be difficult to construct!

This phrase nearly put me off unpacking the box:

“Self-assembly items cannot be returned once assembly is part or fully completed unless the item is found to be faulty

I wonder how many returns Next get from people like me who didn’t realise self assembly, unlike me are scared by 20 pages of instructions and a ‘helpline’ for something that should be simple, and read this no returns as evidence of difficulty to construct and Next pre-empting, to avoid, arguments with its dissatisfied customers.

Important?  they want me to check that they’ve sent me the right bits? Cheeky! They should check they’ve sent me Pacakge contents listthe right parts.  They don’t think I should involve my children in the construction process? Do they think I’m a complete idiot, unable to take responsibility for making decisions about my children and taking responsibility for my own poor decisions. Bloody cheek.

About half the text on the front page is NEXT covering it’s back against customer complaints and returns and treating customers as ignorant, irresponsible, or devious. Thanks NEXT

After 5 years of looking for a cupboard this size and shape I wasn’t gong to let these poor first impressions put me off. I started unpacking and gathered my tools… what happened next is another story….

NEXT self dissemble
8 votes rating 5

5 bits of lovely banter on “NEXT self dissemble”

  1. ExpatEgghead writes:

    My heart sunk, kept on going and hasn’t managed it back yet. I have a hideous memory of a 1700 hrs phone call asking for help assembling a bed. 9 hours later…… She didn’t mention the sofa, the chair and the shelves.



  2. Scarlet writes:

    This is going to be a tale of horror, isn’t it?



  3. JamesNT writes:

    My Dear Wendy I feel your pain. Much of the self-assembly stuff out there is a true pain to assemble. Go to one store and purchase the bookshelf or desk. Go home and start assembling. Realize I need certain tools I don’t already have. Make another special trip to Home Depot to purchase tools. In the midst of assembly, find that certain parts don’t mesh very well (i.e. screw holes don’t line up just right). It just goes on and on.

    And the worst part is truly the amount of money spent on the desk or bookshelf. One would think parts would be assembled easier (snap on or require more common tools or have everything be metric or standard rather than a combination – why does the USA do that, anyway?).

    Oh well. I think I’ll go watch the movie Transformers.




  4. wendy writes:

    There will be a satisfactory ending – a constructed cupboard, and the tale of the journey there. I’ll never buy from NEXT again (not that I did beforehand).



  5. Indigo Roth writes:

    Hey Wendy! Ah yes, one of THOSE! I await disaster with baited (pizza) breath…



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