colour saturated grass

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Estate Agent #1

  • This is the only other coach house on sale in the area, one more bedroom but no garden or off-road parking
  • Buyers can find out what you paid for this house, and when you bought it
  • I had to explain to my Indian client what a coach house was, he just didn’t understand
  • Someone will walk into the garden and fall in love with this place before they’ve even got through the door (Indeed, that’s what happened to me)
  • Oh! That bath…
  • We’ve never had a problem showing houses to people with cat allergies, we did have one client bitten by an owner’s dog. The dog had been locked in the garden and the client was told not to go into the garden
  • I’m from Bristol

Estate agent #2

  • This is the most desirable area in Reading
  • Double off-road parking is worth around 20K
  • We don’t get many character properties like this downtown
  • I’m from Bristol

Estate agent #3

  • I can tell you what the other agents said (he did, and he was wrong)
  • Fantastic (repeatedly, like a carbon copy of his colleague that I spoke to on the phone)
  • What a fantastic kitchen
  • Our website is new and really good, it’s got pictures of the founding partners on it
  • We’ll do a TV presentation for a character property like this one.

I didn’t get the impression that any of them offered anything that would add any real value over the property details and access to buyers that have been pre-screened for a mortgage. None of them really told me about their access to the type of people that would like to buy the Wendy house. I suggested excluding:

  • couples planning to start a family – dangerous staircase, downstairs bathroom
  • elderly people or planning for this to be a last, retirement, home – dangerous staircase, downstairs bathroom
  • people over 5″8 – low beam crossing the dangerous staircase
  • people that love to cook – tiny kitchen separated from the dining area by the hallway

Estate agent #1 was the least offensive, arrogant. She listened and related to me as a person most effectively.  Maybe I’ll have to make my own promotional materials pack – showing related documentation from my purchase, guarantees on work done, local service professionals etc

colour saturated grass
2 votes rating 5

7 bits of lovely banter on “colour saturated grass”

  1. Scarlet writes:

    I like no.1 best…. as for no. 3 – run a mile! I have my reasons.
    Sx

       1 likes

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    wendy writes

    Say no more. My imagination os running wild and #3 tried really hard but kept missing the mark with amazing un-aplomb

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  2. James Sutherland writes:

    Good luck in your sale – are you international-relocating again?

    (Close encounters of the estate-agent kind up here too today: the church in the graveyard my grandmother is buried in is up for sale, with the estate agent claiming there is planning permission in place for conversion into flats. Nasty shock, but apparently a false alarm.)

       1 likes

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    wendy writes

    Internationally relocating again. Glad your mother’s resting place will remain peaceful and visitable. Mother has saved my fathers ashes so that they can be scattered on her grave. He wanted cremation, she wants a plot near where she raised us. I like the idea of them both being together and palace where I can go to be with them. Though I don’t feel the need lf a place to be with dad because it feels lime he’s with me in all I do

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  3. Indigo Roth writes:

    Hey Wendy! You did well not to want to kill all of them. I’ve never met one I didn’t hatch plots over. And good luck with number 1! Indigo x

       1 likes

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    wendy writes

    Thanks Indigo. UK house sales is a painful experience at the best of times, I wish someone would take it all on for me, singleness restricts the chore-delegation opportunities by 50%. Sampo’s not keen on taking the bins out or interviewing estate agents. Sigh.

       1 likes

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    James Sutherland writes

    That’s probably a good thing in a way – if Sampo did handle the sale, you’d probably find your home had been exchanged for a crate of fresh tuna, or at least sold by the first estate agent who turned up smelling of fish…

       2 likes

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