time
For some reason today my spirits have been unfeasible low.
I took dad’s Tissot into a watch makers to have the movement replaced. It stopped soon after I inherited it. For some reason I asked the watchmaker to give me the old movement.
“why?”
“I’ve never seen the movement of a watch close up”
“I can show you now if you’d like”
“I want to play with it, poke it around, take it apart, can I have it with the repaired watch?”
He agreed. I didn’t really understand why I wanted it.
In the evening I watched a TV programme about Niel Sedaka. Mumsie had chosen “this is our lost song together” for dad’s funeral. I searched for the song on you tube and found a Swedish version by Agnetha. So many small reasons to cry. I guess this is melancholia, seeking-out the sadness. Feeling self-centred, lonely and guilty for letting myself wallow in these feelings.
July 6th, 2014
Hey Wendy! I never question (and rarely resist) whims; we may not understand them, but we have something in mind most of the time. Indigo x
[reply]
July 7th, 2014
As Mr Indigo suggests – indulge those whims, and if you need to wallow, then wallow… it’s part of the grieving process.
Sx
[reply]