:: The Wendy House ::

Approaching Peterborough train station.

A small lady with fake-blond hair drawn tightly against her head by a short pontytail mutters ’scum scum scum’ under her breath as she rises.  I can barely hear the chink of her three large, gold, hooped earings dancing together over the sound of flirting and empty high spirits from passengers further down the carriage. ’We love Leeds’ 

They all alight at Peterborough.

A sleeping passenger on the other side of the isle wakes,  pukes half digested pringles on the seat next to him,  places a newspaper over the puke then goes back to sleep.  Another passenger pulls his scarf up over his nose and buries his head deeper in his book while hugging a guitar case.

‘one over the eight’ is defined by a UK phrases website as ‘the drink that renders you drunk’. 

My one over the eight is actually number 3 with weak beer  (under 4.5% alc.)  with Liquor my one over the eight is drink number 2. 

These non-trivial life-style details have caused the normally supportive Excel to get a mardy on because 9 does not equal 2 or 3.

Nestled in a quiet backstreet on the traffic island that is created downtown by the (A4) one-way system (London and Kings Roads) is this pleasant suprise.  The Eldon Arms. 

Midweek the inside the Eldon Arms was packed with the Ladies darts teams.  The garden also looked pretty busy judging by the glasses returned to the bar by the very polite Reading University Agricultural students who had graduated earlier that day.   I didn’t notice any music,  there was a quiz (gambling) machine near the bar but no-one using it.

I tried the Henry’s Original IPA (3.6 ABV).  Well kept, tasty and sufficiently weak for me to quoff 2 pints after work midweek.  Result!  Certainly an improvement on the more shop-purchasable ubiquitous, similar strength, Boddingtons. 

Upon hearing of my expedition to this hostelry a local celebrity wrote:

hear you are paying a visit to the Eldon Arms. Good choice! It’s a lovely little old-fashioned backstreet pub, traditional and with friendly staff. I’m told that Anne and Brian are Reading’s longest-serving landlady and landlord, although I’m sure Bernie and Jane at The Retreat (a short stroll from The Eldon) are also hot contenders for this title.

The Eldon Arms is a Wadworth tied pub, so the selection of beers is mostly restricted to this brewery, but the choice is fine within this range and well kept. My favourite is Bishop’s Tipple, but at 5.5% ABV it’s not to be chugged too quickly! If you’re after something lighter and more summery, try the Horizon. Avoid Pint-Size Mild, if they have it, unless you like mild; personally, I don’t get on with it and this West Berks brew is a good reminder of why

I used to visit this pub frequently on a Wednesday night for their pub quiz, in the days when I worked at the Prudential and had the luxury of rolling in at 10 the next morning. Now I have to drive to south Oxfordshire for 8:30am I don’t go so often! Their quiz is quite a different experience from The Lyndhurst one as it is set and presented by the person who won it last week! It’s a bit like the Eurovision Song Contest in that respect. I’ve won it a couple of times and it’s quite fun to set it, as long as you have a fairly clear week and plenty of time to put it together! I’ve also deliberately pulled back to second place at least once to avoid having to set it when I knew I hadn’t the time! I really must go again soon

Well, that’s all I have. Feel free to ignore all of the above if you want to enjoy the experience of visiting with no preconceptions. However, if you’re reading this sentence then it’s probably too late

Happy pubbing

Obey the person running the pub quiz,  no matter how enbriated they are,  how imprecise their questions are,  how innacurate their answers are.  By all means heckle and lobby them,  but remember its just a pub quiz not a defining statement on your intellect. 

This BBC article describes the cultural experience of pub quizzes in a slightly mythicalised manner,  it quotes a quiz attendee as saying:

 I took two American friends to a quiz once and they thought it was some sort of registered insanity, they just didn’t get it at all

A discussion amongst a group of people on when they could coordinate going to the Reading CAMRA festival included one American.  The American seemed a little suprised that the default assumption was that if there are lots of different beers to be tasted then the result would most likely be a certain level of annebriation,  this astute observation about beer consumption was summarised as: 

You Brits have no sense of moderation

While in the US I was served beer in all sorts of different shaped and size glasses and some germanic mugs.  I was never served beer or Ale in a beer mug  of the particular short-fat proportions with characteristic concave sections in the glass that is commonly found in UK pubs.  Last night at a post-work birthday drinky session we all tucked into beer served in classic English beer mugs.  Yummy.

unsuprising:  “would you like a beer?”

unforgivably suprising:  “I just need to pop out to the corner store and pick-up some beers”

Outside St Marys Butts,  after wandingring around the Saturday market in search of a little refreshment in Pavlov’s dog

Wendy:  do you have any dark ales?

Barboy: we don’t have any ales,  we’re a student pub

I moved on without buying anything and turned-up in Zero Degree’s Microbrewery.

Wendy:  do you have any dark ales?

Barboy:  we’re a Microbrewery,  we brew our own

Wendy:  do you have any dark ales?

Barboy:  We have Pilsners

Wendy:  No.  Pilsner a light beer, a lager, do you have any dark ales?

Barboy:  We have India Pale Ales.. its like a Bitter…

Wendy (getting desperate):  Yes,  Bitter,  I love Bitter,  what Bitters do you have?

Barboy:  We have a special Apple and Cinnamon Bitter.

Wendy:  I’ll have a pint of your apple and cinnamon bitter please

  ….when it eventually arrived the Apple and cinnamon bitter was unfiltered,  sickly sweet tasting as if it had been brewed yesterday by a pre-teen for a school technology project which may well appeal to some people.  Not fussy, grumpy, me.  

The 7 Waitstaff that I counted were pleasant enough when they stopped talking to each other and checked-in on their 5 customers,  a table of 4 and myself.  It had the feel of a large chain outlet targetting high turnover rather than quality service,  there was no obvious evidence of employees pride in their skills or the establishment.   My pasta dish was extremely good soft pasta with fresh herbs and creamy sauce…  yummy

what does a girl do of an evening after work?

No kitties at home to pamper me? 

Can you guess? 

Despite living in the Thames Valley down-stream from Tewkesbury my evening activities do not, yet, involve the dodging the local floods,  which appears to be a necessary skill in both the NW US and locally.

Perhaps I should buy some wellies now?

 Things just get water logged when I’m not around to take care of things.  I hope the kitties didn’t get too soggy without me.

Midweek I’m doing the laundry and making other homesy stuff which is not half as much fun as when the kitties are trying to make things not run smoothly.  So I toddled off to check-out one of the local pubs

Wendy:  do you have and dark ales?

Barboy:  Just Newcastle brown and that comes in a bottle.

I’m disturbed.  Every self-respecting British beer drinker knows that Newcastle brown comes in a bottle.  The barboy felt he had to tell me.  Is this because my not quite English accent shows with just the one phrase above?

GADZOOKS! 

There’s me thinking I’d maintained my Englishness through and through and now people are telling me that Newcastle brown comes in a bottle.  I scan the electric taps and pick an ale over a larger

Wendy:  John Smith’s please

Barboy:  that will be two pounds thirty.

I wander off to read my book,  drink my pint,  wonder if I’m geographically unplaceable.

Barboy:  Same again?

Wendy:  I’ll have an Abbots Ale (yummy, I don’t know why he didnt sell this to me first time around)

Barboy:  how did you find us?

Wendy:  I’ve just moved in nearby

Barboy:  where do you live?

Is my luck in?  What’s this all about?  Is knowing that Abbots Ale is the right beer to drink the key to conversational success?

Wendy: Number 13 (blah) road

Barboy:  I live at number 26,  welcome…  …don’t go into the (blah)

BLOODY BLASPHEMY a boy all of half my age just told me his home address,  smiled at me and is being downright friendly.  Gosh,  I remember that happening when I was in my 20’s and 30’s but not in my 40’s.  I think I need to calm down or have a reality check or something.

Wendy:  Oh yeah,  I looked through the windows, it looked rough

Barboy:  I worked there for 2 evenings,  it was EMBARRESSING

at this point I’ll censor the conversation.  Surfice to say it did continue and I do know a little more about my neighborhoood and will be going back to that pub… …which pressumably was the barboys intention…  Should I take flat-eric?  What do you think?

Less than a mile away from the Oracle Mall that does not allow fishing I followed the police dive team along the river Kennet to the Jolly Anglers’ pub where they decided to get out of the water.

Wendy:  I bet its cold in there

Lady:  you couldn’t pay me enough to get in that river

Cosmopolitan? thats me!

because I drank a German beer made with the finest organic hemp from a bottle with an English label in a Spanish cafe.   It was all terribly civilised. 

Politeness and respect all around.

• sounds pleasing…
• smells fresh…
• tastes delicious…
• feels invigorating…  …internally and externally…
• looks luminous…

Like this:

This single girl is easily pleased, temporarily, with an Imperial pint.

Wendy:  “a pint of Bass please“server: “we don’t have any Bass“Wendy:  “it’s on your menu?”

server: “that Bass is in a bottle, it isn’t draught“  (Wendy winces at the tautology)

Wendy: “then I’ll have Bass from a bottle please’ (looks at server over the top of her glasses while toying with asking why Bass in a bottle is not Bass)

This has happened 2 times in different places.  I suspect that quantities are different for draught and bottled beers.  My specifying a pint implied draught.  I didnt know this.

* The word server is used because:

• it is gender neutral.
• it provides potential for ironic euphamisms based on computing vernacular.
• the term ‘wait staff’, though gender neutral, is actually an instruction given to a rod used to aid walking.
• ‘wait staff’ doesnt afford opportunities for silly comparisons with computers.
• sounds similar to the retiring word - ’servant’

Arrogant Bastard Ale

7.2% Alcohol by volume.  Slogan “You are not worthy“

I’m a sucker for Ale at the best and worst of times.  Ale with a funky sales pitch broke all my pretentions at being remotely sensible or humble.

W Marketing-Victim 

Met these online gals in the real world last night:

• LaCroix
• Jennifer
• Anne
• Jenifer

Evening started well:

Wendy: “what beers do you have on tap?” to server

LaCroix: “I never thought of asking that question because I know they have Bass here”

Wendy: “I’ll have a Bass“

Evening got better:

These women were all articulate, plucky, self-aware, vibrant, valuable (soppiness police stopped me here). No time for trivialities such as ‘breathing’ inbetween

• telling a story.
• laughing at a story.
• pouring beer down your neck.

Evening lasted long after I left:

I made a naughty cinderella exit before the night ended….

Fabulous evening.

Thanks gals.

Harmon Pub and Brewery there.  It serves a tasty “Extra Special Bitter” (ESB).  Either it doesn’t have a good Head like a UK pint or the server didn’t know how to pour it.  It wasn’t offensively gaseous,  alcohol-starved, or ‘cloudy’ like many US brews.  Result! 

GOAL!!!!!

Yummy 

Worth going back for another straight from the Brewhouse…

Wendy Tacoma-bound.

To put it mildly.  I’m gutted. 

Checked out the CAMRA site today find a beer festival to attend while in the UK
Urrrghhh… …there arent any anywhere near (within 200miles) any of my stop-overs.
That will teach me to plan my flight and tour-route more carefully next time…

Wendy

Charlotte, NC #7

#1   Flying Saucer:  9605 N Tryon St, Charlotte, NC 28262 (no website)

Its in an unimposing Mall.  We almost missed it because you can’t see it from Tyron St.  The choice of beers is extremely impressive,  draft and bottled organised by country and ingredients.  Over 200 beers!  A large open room has the draft beer-taps behind the bar against the wall. You can see all the brewery supplied pump-handles.  The room is decorated with ‘plates’ hung from the walls and the ceiling.  This reminded me of British pub’s tendancy to line-up plates along the walls.  On a Thursday night the bar was full,  noisey with chat and laughter and a live band playing.  This was by-far the best of the 3 venues we tried.

#2   Southend Brewery: http://www.southendbrewery.com/

It has a substantial presence in a Mall,  inside there is a bar area, dining area stage and dance-floor.  It looks promising and the service is excellent.  We went there on Friday night around 10pm.  It was virtually empty,  no lively happening atmosphere.

#3   Hops:  http://www.hopsonline.com/home/openmenu.asp

This turned out to be more of a restaurant with some beers.  Polite service by young staff.  Nothing special.

All the brew houses provider ‘tasters’ where you can purchase a selection of ’small’ drinks.  The photo below is a ‘taster’ from Hops:

Wendy on the beer

Ales taste best when hand-pulled from a properly stored cask.

UK vacation 7

Bethnall Green