:: The Wendy House ::

Bouncer:  please take your hat off

Wendy:  Can I put it back on when I get inside?

Bouncer:  No,  it’s for the CCTV

Sulkily I took off my hat,  walked into the bar,  put my hat back on…  …several other people in our party wore my hat during the course of the evening,  its a very sociable hat…

Lucid dreaming is apparantly quite rare.  Excel has told me that the 10 friends and family who replied to my emailed question ‘do you lucid dream?’ were all wildly over educated, regularly creative (musicians, poets, designers, teenager), and all except 1 are either not-married or over the age of 30.  More specifically:

5/10 people do Lucid dream, including:

• 2/5 males
• 3/5 girls
• 3/3 immediate relatives

It’s fun,  I’d highly recommend it if you don’t already indulge…

Excellence

included multiple boob-topped churches,  deserted dawns shared with the departed,   livingly sociable sunsets announced by rather flat church bells,   mules trains,  smiling old people,   sculpted young people,  versataile windmills,  stylish alleys often containing sleek kitties,  oodles of sunshine, beer and clear blues. 

On top of all these standard Greek holiday experiences I learned about the real sailing motoring experience from a chain-smoking German skipper in the company of a pack of youngsters.  I learned real sailing involved:

1. being prepared not to sail.
2. feeling sick.
3. not doing a poo in the loo of a boat moored in a Greek harbour.
4. wearing white to hide the cumulative sea-salt crystals.
5. knowing knots.
6. charging small ‘devices; in Tavernas.

Picturesque sunset venues on the Greek Islands were frequently very sociable places.  By contrast,  sunrises were more deserted,  peaceful places,  highly recommended.

According to wikipedia the sunset at Oia, Santorini, is reputedly one of the most beautiful sunsets in the world.  As the evening sets in bus-loads of tourists seek viewpoints in the small hillside town.

Definitely a place for sociable people.

Images of elderly people are sold on postcards,  smiling positive images giving me the impression that the elderly are happy and valued members of the Greek community.

This portrait was taken by Labrador who is more plucky than I about asking people if she can take their picture.

The obliging Greeks will often place chairs on tables to ensure you get the best possible view.

After mooring we grabbed our towels and wash bags and trooped off to the public showers.  We took turns using the showers for 3 Euros a turn.  It felt sooooooooo luxurious washing the crystalised Aegean salt from skin and hair in a room large enough to be able to wave your arms around,  a classic shower requirement.  No longer did I feel like a walking emery board or look like I suffered from all over body dandruff.

Real sailing experience #4: wearing white hides the cumulative sea-salt crystals

Over dinner we consulted with our cruise director (weather forcast) and persuaded Afghan to let us stay a second day and night on Ios.  No-one wanted a repeat rinse in the washing machine…..

We arrived in Ios exhausted.  The skipper explained we could not use the showers or do ‘number twos’ while in the harbour because Greek boat effluence is ejected directly into the harbour.  The small island harbours would quickly become noticably fowled if all the moored boat-crews used soap-suds and did our poos in it.  Afghan suggested that we could

‘get a free coffee when paying a couple of Euros to use toilets in the local hostelrys’

[seadog laughter]  Ha HA HA HA!’

real sailing experience #3: do not poo in the loo of a boat moored in a Greek harbour

In  subsequent blog posts my companions on our recent Aegean odyssey are represented by canines to allow your imagination to create scenes potentially more bizarre than the actual events.  Meet the pack arranged in order of sailing experience:

• JoJo: the 50ft Bavaria50 yaught, chartered by GAP, that housed the pack for 10 days this summer.
• Afghan Hound (50s):  JoJo’s skipper, German. Single, daughter at college.  Afghan wants to provide a genuine sailing experience, provide each pack member with a good, safe, holiday and manage the Greek based team of GAP skippers.
• Chocolate Labrador (46): Rhode Island, US, married.  Owns a small sail boat.  Labrador is using time when sailing-unenthusastic spouse is working away to indulge passions for sailing and exploring foriegn cultures.  Labrador has attempted to learn Greek conversation with the support of utube.  I met Labrador in 2004 when we shared a room on a GAP tour of Costa Rica.  Labrador doesn’t snore or produce smelly farts in the night.  Knowing this, we planned to share a cabin on JoJo.
• Border Collie (44): Reading, UK, steadily single (me, Wendy),  I have an ancient RYA Dinghy sailing licence, level 2, acquired at a Royal Navy training base.  The training methodology involved a perplexing frequent use of the Anglo-Saxon word for copulation in an apparently unsystematic and technically inaccurate manner.  I joined in with the liberal and unsystematic use of this term which did appear to stump the Navy trainers.  For a couple of years I owned a Byte that successfully decorated my garage in the US.  I want to explore the current and past Greece at a leisurely pace, repeatedly dive off JoJo, avoid the sunshine, drink beers, read books, practice sketching and bolster my memory with notes and photographs.
• Golden Retriever (30): Minnesota, US, has pottered about on boats on the Great lakes,  is married to
• Springer Spaniel (30): Minnesota, US, has also pottered about on boats on the Great Lakes.  Spanial has known the Retriever since pre-school,  started dating in high school.  They are interested in Temples,  archeological artefacts, museums, social anthropological history and sunbathing on-deck.
• Red Setter (30): Seattle, US, recently divorced.  No sailing experience. Red doesn’t tolerate unfairness, and is equipped with the intellect to quickly talk-back when encountering mistreatment and unfairness.  Red wants to dance and explore culture.  This is the first vacation Red has taken alone abroad,  Red arrived early and tried out the Youth Hostel in Thira.
• Standard Poodle (26): Sidney, Australia, Greek parents, no sailing experience, unmarried and behaving as if in love.  This involved cell phone predominantly attached to ear and conversations like ‘no you hang-up first’ and sleeping with the cell-phone clasped between both hands on their sternum.  Poodle had saved a long time to be able to afford this holiday which started in Spain,  involved visiting family in Athens and ould continue after the sail in Corfu.  Poodles luggage was of a different opinion.  It never arrived in Greece. As far as I know it is still AWOL. Poodle arrived with the bare essentials; cell-phone, credit card, swimwear and toothbrush looking forward to meeting the luggage, sunbathing,  dancing and partying. 

Inside Jojo before setting sail:               

Red excitedness characteristics:

• falling over.  Think or how the USS enterprise wobbles and throws the crew from side to side when attacked by the klingons or travelling through an asteroid belt.
• dribbling.  Pouring tea becomes particularly tricky leaving drips all over the place.
• Perpetual waffling. A striking lack of precision in speach and writing rather like rambing only not in the countryside but in words and really not worthy of reading. Editor skills are desperately needed during a red alert to head-off the waffle effect.
• tears before bedtime. Over spilt tea,  bruised knees, being misunderstood etc

Why now?

Only 4 weeks before my Greek sailing holiday!  I’ve made the lists & purchased the essentials.  From here-on in its all about getting over-excited. 

The Foriegn and Commonwealth Office (FCO) provides helpful advice for British travellers.  In a weekend moment of pragmetism I checked-out the FCO advise for travellers to Greece.  They report that of the 3 million British people that visit Greece in a year. 

main types of incident for which British nationals required consular assistance in Greece in 2007 were: replacing lost or stolen passports (nearly 500 cases); hospitalisations (over 400 cases); dealing with arrests and detentions (over 270 cases); and deaths, mostly from natural causes (over 140 cases).

You should maintain high standards of public behaviour in Greece.  The Greek police will not accept rowdy or indecent behaviour, especially where excessive alcohol consumption is involved.  Greek courts impose heavy fines or prison sentences on people who behave indecently.

Hoorah! 

Can we borrow some of these Greek Police?

Once I’ve applied for a free ‘European Health Insurance Card’ (EHIC) I will be entitled to medical treatment and services in Greece equivalent to those provided to Greek Nationals.  Splendid.  Though the FCO aren’t to impressed with the service standards compared to the NHS,  they caution ‘The standards of nursing and after care, particularly in the public health sector lag behind what is normally acceptable in the UK. The Public Ambulance Service, which will normally respond to any accident, is rudimentary.  There are severe shortages of ambulances on some islands.’

The Scottish NHS,  thats not English or Welsh,  publishes vaccination and travel health advice.  I’m assuming that the Scottish advice would align with the English so I’m covered. 

Excitedness levels are still Amber.

Amber excitedness characteristics:

• unpredictable outbreaks of persistent smiling.
• mugs of undrunk tea appearing around the house because I’ve forgotten that I have already made myself a cup of tea.
• frequent brief outbursts of hyper-inactivity.  Sitting-still to enjoy thinking about whatever I’m getting excited about.
• increased incidences of burbling.

Why now?

This year I’ll be sailing to half a dozen or so Islands in Greece with 7 strangers and a friend for 10 days on a 50ft yaught.  The trip bochure tells me that  Hemingway ‘Would have’ turned up at the Island of Sifnos,  that we can visit the Kitron Brewery on Naxos.  All over the Islands we can admire ancient architecture,  visit Churches, Temples and many many Tavernas.  Snorkling, dolphins and beaches are also mentioned.   

OooOoOOooOoOoOOoOoHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh

the Ray Bans are out!

According to Wikipedia Reading (HM Prison)  is the county gaol of Berkshire and formerly the site of executions.  It was built in a cruciform shape in 1844, Victorian.  It’s about the same age as the new old wendy house and built in the back-yard of the Abbey on the site of an old leper colony.  Now its a ‘Young offender Institution and remand centre’ (1999 HM Govt report - includes interviews with prisoners)

Famous people incarcerated there include:

• Oscar Wilde:  1895-1897, 2 years hard labour for sodomy. The Ballard of Reading Gaol was written after his internment, dedicated to a man executed during Oscar’s internment.
• Stacey Keach: 1984, 6 months for possession of cocaine.

According to Wikipedia Forbury = ‘borough in front’.

In Reading this was a gathering, market area in front of the now defunct Reading Abbey. 

Named after Mr. George Palmer of Biscuit fame who donated the land for use as a Park,  next to the South Park conservation area of Reading.  Palmers park currently includes a:

1) lot of trees and grass that are occassionally covered in snow or sunlight and are always beautiful.

2) sports stadium.  Featuring a velodrome with lots of people wearing colourful lycra and providing exercise classes called ‘legs bums & tums’ for people who have not yet earned the right to wear lycra.

3) library that is really rather cute.

in the city cemetery

at cemetery junction

wandering around as if they own the place and no way-out except using the pedestrian crossings across the A4 or A329.  Neither crossing to be taken-on lightly by even the most hikingly-well-equipped-human. 

Odd to find wild deer in the city so close to my home…  well protected deer,  by the community police that live in the cemetery gate and parole the area in small bicycle packs…

 Dale Chihouly’s chandeliers are infiltrating big municipal building foyers from the Benaroya hall in Seattle to the Victoria and Albert museum in London’s South Kensington. Have they infiltrated a foyer near you?

The Natural History Museum, originally opened in 1881 and now open 7 days a week,  free to everyone.   It’s got Mammoth skeletons, literally, Mammoth!  Designed by a young manchester architect, Alfred Waterhouse, the building itself is a work of art.   Arches have spines and unique varied animals climbing them. 

There are no rules posted about the use of cameras which meant I got a tiny-bit snap-happy.

Sweeny Todd offers a gigantic range of different pies at the pictured local Reading Pie Shop and a very dark film, most distubing gory visual details, I had to look away on multiple occassions and I’m not that squeamish.

In English newspapers sport stories,  results, are normally reported on the back pages of paper newspapers.  When I graduated from a Leicestershire University (1992) an hounoury masters degree was awarded to Gary Lineker for being a Master of his sport and

“putting sport where it belongs,  on the back pages”

In the early 90s footballing celebrities like Gazza were getting newspaper coverage on the front pages for behaviour that is surely not worthy of emulating.

Recently I had the pleasure of attending a fun Christmas, office, party held in Madame Tussauds waxworks where I met Gary again and he looks just the same…

According to the world clock on November 9th sunset started in Reading UK (16.24hrs) only 16 mins before Seattle WA (16.40hrs).  This small difference was noticable.  Winter feels more announced by the Reading daylight in the UK.  Summer days are longer too,  Hoorah!

Snow is not part of the regular winter menu in Reading.  It’s only lightly part of the Seattle diet but they do like to make a fuss about it.  I gather there was some snow recently as this photograph by Jenn suggests.

Now please excuse me while I do some laundry in an Electrolux front-loading washing machine with 700 different settings and the capacity of a large hankerchief….

When I arrive I will be staying in temporary accomodation,  in Reading. 

Staying in this quaint bed and breakfast until the home I’ll be renting is available,  after 7 days.  The rented home is also temporary,  until I find a mortgage and a property to hang that mortgage on.  Temporary for months.

Given past trends in my life the mortgaged property will also be temporary.  Between 3 and 7 years temporary. 

Everything is temporary.  Permanent is probably a statement of the difficulty of predicting an end-date.

In Reading. My first evening.  Jetlagged.  With luggage & flat Eric.  Listening to fireworks explode & people arguing in the street.  While walking to a pub quiz a plump, bedraggled, lady approaches me and holds out her hand as if to grab my arm

“I know its rude,  I know I shouldn’t,  I’m really sorry,  but do you have one-pound-ninety?”

“Sorry, I don’t have any cash“  My voice sounds loud and assertive almost like I was chiding her.  No empathy,  no softness,  no attempt to find out if I could help her in  other ways.  I felt bad.  I wish I’d been organised enough to pick up some currency before I arrived…

On my way back from the pub quiz the streets are alive with whooping groups of young adults,  a couple of which decided to use the Nationwide cashpoint (US = ATM) as a prop for simulating eXtreme naughtiness in public without the aid of hands.  Astonishing.  Reading fair buzzes on a Sunday night.  The ladies are often not wearing much some even had their boobs and other bits out in the November night air.  I guess the escapades of US female celebrities really have set the tone for a night on the town here.

According to Google analyticals I have one regular reader in Tring.  Excellent,  Good show.  The internet reaches the person in Tring who is curious about middle-aged English girlies in the Seattle region.  hooray!  Who would have guessed?!    Welcome reader from Tring,  You know who you are…..   …isn’t Tring ’cute’?  Oh my,  I am definitely developing Anglophile tendancies…

I like to test the diverse effects of gravity in different countries and continents.  normally with the help of a curb.

While walking home from the atmospheric,  smoke-free, Tom Collins pub after one,  well two,  actually three, definitely not four pints of Smithwicks,  while crossing the road I tustled with the uneven curb and ended up sitting in the gutter

Passerby:  Are you alright?

Wendy:  I’ve twisted my ankle

Passerby:  No dancing for you tonight then!

I scooped myself up and hobbled home.   Once back in the US I hobbled myself to a medical center to be triaged by my fabulous nurse:

nurse:  what have you done this time?

Wendy: twisted my ankle,  I wasn’t skiing,  just crossing the road

The last 3 times we met she confirmed that I had broken a bone during a fall while downhill skiing.  She’s recommended that I stick with cross-country skiing.   No broken bones.  I have got the ankle wrapped-up in fancy medical bindings with streamline black velcro. 

Wendy:  are ‘the williamites’ people that support William of orange?

Barstaff:  I don’t know,  my history is not very good and I’m not from round these parts (Irish accent)

Wendy:  where are you from?

Barstaff:  Cork

Wendy:  can you visit Cork on day trips?

Barstaff:  No.  It’s only the third week of term and already I’ve got 3 projects to do. 

Wendy:  That’s tough.  If you didn’t have the projects would it be possibile to do a day trip to Cork?

Barstaff:  It’s 2hrs by car,  that’s too far for a day trip.  you could do it ….but….   and the trains are expensive,  it cost 58 Euro to get to Dublin.  Everythings really expensive around here.

… Later ….

Wendy:  I live in America.  Americans seem to love all things Irish

Barstaff:  I thought I heard an American accent!  American troops stop at Shannon airport to refuel their planes on the way to Iraq.  We encourage them to leave the airport and spend some money here.

Wendy:  When i flew in I saw about eight US Marines in desert uniform at Shannon airport.  Desert Uniform in the rain!

3pm wandering into an Italian style winebar with a view across the river Shannon.  The bar was empty bar one table where the guests,  6 women in their 20’s and one man in his 40’s were finnishing their meal.  maybe they close soon,  maybe the chef has finished for a break between lunch and evening settings.

Wendy:  Are you still serving?

Waitstaff:  We’re open,  yes

Across the river behind some homes I can see an older taller building with a large tower. 

Wendy: do you know what that building is or was?

Waitstaff:  No,  I’m not from Limerick.

I should have spotted the eastern European accent.

the bar staff,  2nd yr University of Limerick student, sold me Smithwicks beer and told stories about how Limerick is known amongst the Irish as ‘Stab city’ illustrated with details of deaths amongst the people he’d met at a local the Boxing gym.  

The stone buildings are grey suggesting a gloominess to match the mood of the weather

Walking along the banks of the Shannon in the incessant drizzle reminds me of being unemployed.  An oppressive atmosphere. 

Four pre-pubescent boys in the distance are looking out over the river.  Or are they?  The riverside is desserted except for us.  They start walking towards me.  The tallest, maybe all of 12yrs, asks me for a cigarette.  At least I think that is what he asked.  I shrugged my shoulders and mimed ’sorry I can’t help you’  without airing my English accent.

As I reached the point on the riverbank where they had been standing I could see the pee trails and spatter.  The taller boy had won…

My first impression of Limerick is that it has welcomed many people from eastern European communities.

After a red-eye flight covering 24hrs Wendy-time I look more than a touch bedraggled and every bit my 43yrs.

Wendy:  what choices do I have to get from here to Limerick?

Shannon Airport Information:  Bus or taxi,  do you have much luggage?

Wendy:  Just this

Airport Information:  take the bus.

This is the kind of advice that I like to hear.

At the bus stop two young girls wearing heavy dark eye-liner shelter from the drizzle by me.  They chainsmoke wearing airport badges with their long hair pulled away from their faces.  The original colour of their hair is showing for 2 inches at the roots.  White-skinned  blonded brunettes talking with an urgency normally utilised by drug addicts or excited children they look slightly bedraggled too.  They are not talking English or Irish,  they sound eastern European.  

A couple looking over 50yrs wearing well-ironed bright clothes stand either side of numerous new-looking suitcases.  In an US accent the lady asks me  Is it daylight savings time in Ireland? In my English accent I reply  I have no idea.  It is 7.50am

The girls stop talking,  their cigarettes held close,  but not touching their lips.  They look at the US couple and me for a few seconds then resume their chatter. 

When collecting my fare the bus driver scowels at me.  Here my accent is definitely not cute it is that of a recent occupier and oppressor.  During its route the bus (30mins,  €5.70) picks up about 10 people.  Judging by their accents and language about half of them are eastern European.  On the journey, inbetween talking calmly,  slowly, continually, into an earmounted phone headset, the driver shouts obscenities at other drivers “Ya Prick!” in an Irish accent . 

Later downtown I find several shops that specialise in Lithuanian and Polish foods,  as I walk passed queues at the downtown bus-stops I hear eastern European accents mixed with the the Irish.  The two receptionists, half the bar staff and all the restaurant wait staff  in the Hotel sound eastern European….