scribbles tagged ‘Amadeus’

missing

Monday, November 1st, 2010 | tags: , , , ,  |

After 6 years together, he left in march 1995 while I struggled with the isolation imposed by an itchy depressing case of the chicken pox. A tough year. Tracey Thorn helped smooth the edges on the darker sad moments, taking them up to a normal sadness with her soothing song, Missing. 16 years later the radio plays Missing and I’m reminded that even though I no longer hear the screaming in my mind, sometimes my mind wanders past where we lived, and I miss you.

Everything But the Girl sang Missing

On the off-chance you still use the same email address I replied to your last email (2006). Your prompt, succint reply, with a large attachment of baffling technical IE8 jargon, quashed that missing feeling. It prompted cat-spooking, floor hugging, loud laughter. So typical of you to find something to apologise for as an opening sentence then quickly spring into politics, attitude, and rude words:

Sorry about the attachment. I was booted off line before I was able to send. I blame the government. Big society? Big arse, more like.

We’re still unsynchronised dancing to Stand. It’s good to know you’re still there, somewhere, being wonderful you…

REM sang Stand

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empathy

Saturday, July 11th, 2009 | tags: , , ,  |

at school in the 1980s, if asked to present work,   I stuttered.    Teachers and classmates made sure I never had to do it, I was complicit in avoiding this painful experience.

At university I joined the students amateur dramatics group to try and practice  the problem away. In at the deep end.    I helped with the make-up, brochure design, set-painting, costume creation and most of the time enyoyed being in the background.   Then pr0gressed to my first role. Rumplestiltzkin. Lead in the xmas pantomime, few lines, all rhymed, easy to memorise. I over-practiced to take the edge of my feelings of shere terror. First night, 300 people in the audience including my parents. Minor dose of terror.   It went well.

Over time I ramped-up my speaking parts.    In a  community theatre production of Peter Shaffers Amadeus  I played Constanza Mozart, a small significant part.    The production was so good were  invited to the Edinburgh festival.   I still pause to find the words  when I’m uncomfortable.

Then yesterday.

Half an hour in  phone conversation with an amazing expert with the worse stutter I’ve ever heard left my empathsing in action in subsequent conversation.   Temporary relapse.

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sofa escape

Friday, October 5th, 2007 | tags: ,  |

1994-2007

This sofa with  design and print  chosen by a person I lived with in   1994.  

He wouldn’t take it when he left.   He dumped me with the sofa-print from hell.   It’s fabulously comfortable and works perfectly well as a Sofa if you shield your eyes or use a throw.   Hence the sofa and I spending 13 years together despite the ‘looks’ issue.   But.  

Enough is enough

Craigslist put an end to the relationship.   Hoorah.   Furniture Freedom!

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