scribbles tagged ‘apple fanboy’

virgin bites apple

Sunday, November 1st, 2015 | tags: , , ,  |

I’ve loitered outside Apple stores. I’ve sniggered at the long queues waiting for the store to open, or inside at the back tables. A long time ago I went inside one and photographed the layout. I’d never been in to use one for it’s intended purpose. Until now.

Does this look like a pleasant place to be?  It wasn’t.

Rosedale center Apple storeI strode down the wide mouth of the open fronted Rosedale Apple store, straight towards the watch display. I don’t like shopping, my goal was try one on my wrist, try out the interactions, buy (or not) and leave.  The back of the store was full of people

At first I couldn’t tell who was staff or shopper. I stood alone by the watch stand with my head up looking around for help.  After what seemed like ages I realised that all the store staff had headphones on and were in almost constant communication with each other. I tried to catch the eye of several staff members. They were all too busy to notice me. Very frustrating. I nearly left

I overheard one staff talk to another about a “greeter”. I looked towards the door where a lone member of staff was saying hello and introducing himself to people as the entered.

He had failed to greet me.

Maybe I need to be officially greeted before I exist as a customer in a virtual queue. I walked up to him and waited while he greeted several other people before acknowledging me. By this time I was angry. I stayed calm while he asked me my name, and worked out why I was there. I mentioned my long wait and he politely apologised, saying his colleague (name 1) would be over to help me in a few minutes

In all, 4 more staff introduced themselves to me, confirmed they knew I was interested in a watch, told me their colleague, name-2 ( then name-3, name-4, name-5) would be along soon to help me.  Each time I was picked-up, my eager anticipation of doing my shopping and getting out, quickly, rose. Each time they told me another colleague would be along to help me soon, my anger levels rose, exponentially. I nearly walked out a couple of times. I considered throwing myself on the floor and having a tantrum in the style of a toddler.

Well done Apple for balancing understaffing with ‘just-in-time’ contact

By the time someone could actually get a watch out of the case so that I could try it on, I was not in the mood to be nice. I just wanted my questions answered and to get out. I opened by telling her I wasn’t a fan of Apple, I’d been waiting over 30 mins and I just wanted a functional walk through. The shop assistant, obviously found this difficult, she tried very hard to deliver her well trained sales pitch.

No, I wasn’t interested in the exercise App, nor the representations of the globe…

  • does it fit?
  • How do I load and update Apps?
  • How do I customise the display?
  • What does each button do?
  • How do I take a screenshot

To her credit she did very well, clearly trained for dealing with ancy clientele. After I’d paid for the brick she took me to some sort of troubleshooting table where one member of staff stood surrounded by about 5 standing clientele, users. We had a few problems because of some of my default (corporate) phone settings… once we’d restarted the phone and watch about half a dozen times we’d sorted it. Definitely quicker than my trying to do that at home, and cheaper for Apple than supporting multiple phone calls trying to troubleshoot a very visual experience. I appreciated being able to walk out of the store with a working watch… ready to play with…

  • Having someone there while I set-up the watch was a big bonus, because clearly the set-up has not been made easy.
  • Having very polite staff repetitively ignore me, then pass me around like a parcel was very annoying. I’ve never experienced anything that bad outside of an NHS appointment.

what do you think of that »

Still standing still

Tuesday, October 27th, 2015 | tags: ,  |

moveDad’s failing Tissot with a mechanical movement has been replaced by… …an Apple watch.

The watch tells me that I excersize without moving. I call this behaviour deep thought, that’s thought.

I love my new watch. Not the phone, just the massive brick of a watch. The phone is merely a conduit, a relay box that I can use to update the watch settings. I now know what time it is in every country that I might feel inclined to call… …and other surprisingly pleasing trivia.

I still use my windows phone for ‘personal’ stuff, but this gadget could be the one that catalyses my shift away from a Windows platform.

what do you think of that »

gadgets for gadgets sake

Tuesday, September 9th, 2014 | tags: , ,  |

Do I care that the apple watch

  • Is a precise timekeeper? No, I have a beautiful classic, hand crafted Tissot
  • Is a ‘comprehensive’ fitness device? No. I’m not interpreted in spending time counting and tracking health related things
  • works seamlessly with my iPhone. No. Both my phones work fine in my back pocket.

Apple hasn’t successfully ‘sold’ their watch to me. But it could offer value. I’m disappointed they haven’t bothered to point out that value….   I’ll wait and see what the dedicated fan boys say after paying their premium to own it first

Apple’s business model relies on them selling more hardware…  I wonder what they’ll do next….

4 bits of fabulous banter »

portably challenged

Thursday, September 19th, 2013 | tags: ,  |

Dell PC (laptop?)There is a point where size and weight convert what is presented as a ‘laptop’ into an uncarriable object. Call it a desktop, a brick, wheelbarrow-fodder. With this ‘laptop’ Dell have crossed the line to deceptive advertising. Even with two unbroken arms and a reinforced wheely-bag, this laptop stretches the notion of ‘portable’.

Shame on you Dell for selling this to corporates as a portable computer. Even the charger is heavier than a combination of my 2 phones and surface with their 3 chargers with accessories. It’s laughable, literally. People laugh when they see me pull this out of my bag. Around the office I’ve reverted to using a paper notebook. Yes, reverted to paper, me! It’s almost unthinkable, but Dell managed to push me to be more inefficient by publicising thier brick as a laptop. Who’s lap? A giants lap?

Can Dell be sued under the UK ‘trades descriptions act’? I definitely feel deceived. But then I’m just a foolish user, right? That kind of attitude will loose Dell the custom of boring, established, conglomerates. My work group have already managed to persuade IT to support us using Apples (Obviously I didn’t influence the replacement choice, but I did yell about the current choice).

Dell, you messed up on a reliable, bulk-purchase, customer. Once one department have IT support for Apples the precedent is set… …more changes will come….

6 bits of fabulous banter »

iMac wars

Sunday, September 1st, 2013 | tags: , , ,  |

‘ACE Design’ have grown from a sole trader on floor 6 to an open plan design studio with 6 full time employees, on floor 3, in less than 2 months.

Apple Software Update FailTheir IT guru, and financial backer has insisted they use PCs for normal office work and only use Macs when absolutely necessary. Most of the new staff are furious “but you said at my interview I’d get my own iMac!”

Arne smiles as he flicks his Dutch blonde fringe from his eyes, temporarily looking taller than his normal 6″6. He winks and clarifies for them, “I said you could make a business case for having one, and I haven’t heard a good case yet” Arne’s ordered one iMac to be shared, everyone gets their own company PC. Helen doesn’t mind, she’s never used an Apple and is comfortable with the strange workings of the PC. She’s enjoying sharing her knowledge with her new colleagues. Suddenly she’s got the ability to instantly dispel frustrations and be seen to be valuable.

“I won’t be using the Apple, so you’ll all get more time on it” Helen sings in her eagerness to make everyone happier. Arne’s fringe has only just found gravity’s natural place. He flicks it back revealing piercing periwinkle blues.  Synchronously, all eyes turn to him “We’ll get you an iMac as a birthday present“.  Like an audience at Wimbledon all eyes move to Helen. She’s  now the object of envy, no longer the supportive helpful place she likes to be. “I’ll just donate it to the most needy designer in the room, can’t see why I’d want an iMac

Chaos ensues, how could Helen turn down the offer of a free iMac? The other designers can’t begin to comprehend it. Maybe Helen isn’t really a designer? Maybe she’s joking, maybe Arne’s joking.

Over the next few days everyone starts demonstrating to Helen how much they need their iMacs for everyday work. They bring in their own personal Macs from home. The IT guru is not happy, but it clearly demonstrates that Arne doesn’t need to BUY everyone iMacs if they’re using their own. Looks like a bit of an own goal for the designers.

Will Helen get an iMac for her birthday?

2 bits of fabulous banter »

you can’t go back. go home and start again

Monday, July 29th, 2013 | tags: , , , , , , , , , ,  |

<RANT WARNING – Apple fanboys, and people who love positivity should leave now>

Over the last 3 years I’ve been lucky(?) enough to have 3 different smart phones as my main phone:

HTC Desire, Nokia Lumia 800, iPhone5
HTC Desire, Nokia Lumia 800, iPhone 5

I’m very disappointed with the iPhone5. I want to revert to the Nokia. I was unimpressed by the Nokia but not to the extent that I wanted to give up using it within the week.

The reasons I dislike the iPhone would all be easily uncovered by usability testing with new users, so why do they STILL exist in version 5? Doesn’t Apple test it’s products with people switching from other smart phones? Maybe Apple doesn’t know because it doesn’t bother to test, maybe it knows but doesn’t think they’re worth fixing?

The problems I’m encountering are the sort of thing that should have been fixed by version 2, or for Microsoft – version 3. if the company prioritised input from users other than Apple fan boys who appear to live in a world that lacks perspective.  My 5 main problems were discovered within the first hour of using the iPhone:

  1. No ‘back’ control – you have to go to ‘home’ and then navigate forward to where you were. Android has a hardware back button and Windows has a software back button. All the browsers I’ve ever used have got a back button. You never have to ‘start again’.  Arrrghhhhhhh! It’s hellishly inefficient and irritating. It affects virtually everything I want to do on the phone unless the app provider has included either an ever-present software back button or easy in-App navigation. Apple has effectively offloaded the overhead of designing good navigation to App providers which will result in diverse navigation methods, more effort for the user to learn them. That’s not good.
  2. No service detected. OH MY GOODNESS! After putting in the SIM card, there was no service. I first assumed that I’d put the SIM card in the wrong way.  As soon as I removed the SIM the phone said ‘No SIM detected’. So the problem wasn’t with the SIM placement. I rebooted the phone. SIGH. No service. I showed the phone to a local, patient and peppy, Apple fanboy, who used his psychic Apple-fix-it skills and called my number. MAGIC. It wasn’t displaying that it could receive a signal, yet the phone rang and I was able to answer it! Bizarreness. The service signal strength was now showing on the phone. Unreliable OS messaging of hardware capabilities? That is, the hardware had detected a service but the Apple display hadn’t been updated to show this. What were the Apple test team doing when they set up tests that would let a product with this problem get released? Over the next few days I soon got into the habit of using my Windows Nokia phone (same service provider) to call my i-Phone so that the display would update to show the service signal.  HOW CRAP IS THAT?! More than a double face-palm. I tried a more traditional technique to get the signal to display – rebooting the phone. SIGH. The irritating thing about rebooting the phone to get a service signal is that I have to login to my iApple account again (see problem 3 below), and then the service signal isn’t always re-displayed.  I’ve tried shaking the phone and wandering around the office space. More out of desperation and frustration.CLEAN UP FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
  3. ALL CAPS LETTERS ONLY on the keyboard display, even when you’re typing in lower-case! Really poor visual feedback on what case to expect the keyboard to produce. I use a lot of passwords where there is a requirement for UPPER CASE letters and only a temporary view of the typed letter before it turns into a dot.  This meant that not being able to ‘see’, by looking at the keyboard,  which CASE the letter is going to be typed in was a pain. I had to look at the shift key, which has only a subtle ‘brightness’ contrast change and is covered by my finger that’s pressing it.  Lack of this feedback results in my having to be more careful entering passwords, and have to retype passwords more frequently.  My ‘new’ Apple ID had to be reset 3 times because I couldn’t work out if I’d miss-typed the ID or just tried to enter the wrong ID.  When creating the new password using “I-Forgot” – blame me why don’t you! – I got more “Passwords don’t match” messages than on any other phone I’ve used.  This is an easy OS software change, why haven’t Apple bothered to fix this obvious usability problem?
  4. Not connecting to my home wireless.  I’ve tried about 8 times. The phone can detect my wireless and offers me a password entry field.  I’ve retyped and retyped the network key but for some inexplicable reason the phone is unable to join this network and wont even hint at why. Just tells me it’s failed. At least it takes responsibility for this failure.
  5. No CAPS LOCK. Both Android and Windows have good simple software solutions for this behaviour, which I’d learnt. An Apple fan boy explained to me that I should keep one finger on shift and type the letters with a different finger.  No problem from his perspective. Another Apple fan boy told me a double-tap acts as shift-lock and that she only found out how to use her iPhone with multiple lessons from her daughter. This is only a miner discovery detail, but when added to the other issues for someone trying an iPhone after having used Android or Windows OS’s, it’s yet another poor design feature that implies lack of user-care by the OS development team.

HTC Desire, Nokia Lumia 800, iPhone5From my perspective the Apple iPhone OS behaviour is clearly less elegant with more user effort overhead than both Android and Windows. I’m surprised, I expected to love it.

Pish and Tush

<RANT TEMPORARILY ON HOLD- I suspect there will be more…>

5 bits of fabulous banter »

House family watch THE boat race

Thursday, April 4th, 2013 | tags: , , , , , , , ,  |

After Dinner CoffeeEaster Sunday, sated on a tender lamb roast with the trimmings including a cheeky little mint sauce. We indulge in a favoured family tradition, settling down to watch the Boat race. We all support Oxford for reasons long since lost in the Ethernet. Mum suspects it’s because they used to loose a lot when she was a gal and we should support the underdog.

Coffee PercolatorThe ‘House’ style for watching THE boat race is diverse. I was the only person who did it with open eyes despite the thick, percolated, coffee supplied by mumsie from one of her 20 or so prized percolators. I’ll call her  ‘Grandmum’ because we are in the presence of her grandchildren.

Father and daughter watch boat raceBros 62 assumes the horizontal position for viewing enhancement. Pointing his beard between his distant toes.

Niece 92 ensures the blood-flow to her head by placing her legs on the footstool mumsie has procured for her comfort.  At first I though that niece 92 forgot to put a skirt on over her pantyhose when she left home this morning. Apparently this is a style feature.  She is proud of consecutive years of not wearing shorts or a skirt to keep her bum warm. She’s receiving as-it-happens updates from her friends though her much-prized iphone. She’s a tall and creative genius who demonstrates it in many pleasing ways.

Sleeping over Maths A level revisionNiece 94 is multitasking, she’s a formal thinking high-flyer.  Revising for her maths A level while watching the boat race, drinking evil coffee and possibly simulating sleep. What is she doing under that hair? A woman of infinite mystery at just 17.

Watching the boat raceWhile sister-in-law has resisted the black attire favoured by her hubby and daughters, she can’t resist the sleep inducing effect of grandmum’s classic 1960’s Parker Knoll rocker.

Synchronised snoring with the cats

Normality temporarily resumed

4 bits of fabulous banter »

unpackaging pleasure

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013 | tags: , ,  |

the box the phone arrived in slide open the box - the phone! 2 boxes under the phone charger,cable & earphones Blutooth pairing and connectig - easy! Bluetooth contact transfer - ZOOM who are these people?

I’m loving the colourful and smooth experience of unpacking my Nokia Lumia 800.  I’ve unpacked it and repacked it several times.

It came pre-powered-up, quickly (Bluetooth) paired with my old phone and ‘people’ transferred. Yummy! When the new SIM arrived my classic self used it to make some phone calls! I wonder where all the anonymous people in the phonebook came from….

wendy: I love my new phone, it works!

Apple fanboy: Only a Microsoft user would feel that way just because it worked

7 bits of fabulous banter »

backlash beginnings

Saturday, December 15th, 2012 | tags:  |

itunesI am beginning to see people who have purchased apple services and products recognise that they are not perfect. These people aren’t the Apply Fanboys, they’re ordinary people who purchased Apple because they thought they were getting convenience and quality.

Seen on Facebook (2/12/12):

“WTF happened to itunes… i am not amused”

“Sigh. It’s Apple again. Style over substance”

“cannot bear style over substance!! i am going back to my tapes!!”

 Then there’s the recent (10/12/12)  life-threatening behaviour of Apple’s map inaccuracies in Aussieland.

Also the U.S. Federal agency that switched from BlackBerrys to iPhones is now planning to switch back (13/12/12). They’re going to test Blackberry10 devices next year. Blackberry users are a whole different cup of tea altogether. Looks like they don’t mix well with OS migration and new fruit.

Once some Apple Fanboys have read this scribble I could be in for a severe onslaught of ego-threatening verbal abuse.


1 wonderful musing »

sing along

Thursday, December 13th, 2012 | tags: , ,  |

Apple fanboy: Have I told you what I don’t like about microsoft software?

wendy: No. NO. I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what you hate about microsoft software, do PLEASE tell me, I MUST know, it’s important, I can’t go on without hearing you complain about microsoft software

Apple fanboy: you know how Office…..

wendy: LaLa LaLa I can’t hear you (puts on headphones)

what do you think of that »


Tuesday, December 11th, 2012 | tags: , , ,  |

mysterious error - ok?One of the many Apple fanboy’s in my life really enjoys showing me every error message that his ancient PC produces.

Todays example is a classic.

We tried a few technical fix it things and managed to find a little more information.

Somehow this extra information failed to de-confuse the situation or make OK a decision that we wanted to make.
less mysterious error - ok?

1 wonderful musing »

dad’s been jackanaped

Tuesday, November 13th, 2012 | tags: , , ,  |

The sender of this email agreed to let me publish it because he’s entertaining and talking about buying a PC from PC world:

My Dad just bought a new computer, without asking me first *facepalm*.

He went to PC World and some jackanape sold him a win 8 machine. Apparently it’s ‘in the cloud’ and ‘blazingly fast’, something my dad doesn’t understand but was convinced is a good thing.


To cut a long story short, my dad has come to visit and is begging me to put win 7 on it.

He said ‘it took me 45 minutes to find the control panel on it and i’ve been deleting stuff but noting makes that f*cking screen go away’.

Thanks MS. Thanks PC World.

Sent from my phone


5 bits of fabulous banter »