Some snippits from recent cell-phone conversation with the fellow coordinating the builders (occassionally) working on The Wendy House kitchen roof replacement.
Wendy: not having a kitchen roof is very inconvenient.
Foreman: Not for me its not.
…
Wendy: so the slates will all be in place by end of day tomorrow?
Foreman: yes
Wendy: That’s Autumn!
Foreman: more like gruesome
…
Wendy: Cheerio
Foreman: Bye Darlin’
The Wendy House kitchen is currently camping under canvas in the September rain, ruthless.
Much to my surprise the self-mutilating builders turned-up. I wasn’t expecting them because there have been more false starts than a particularly rusty old Fiat Panda on a frosty morning.
Builder: you must want to shoot me, let me explain …[5 minutes creative explanation]
I wonder why he assumed I would choose a gun in a country who’s weapon of choice this summer is the knife. That aside, his cute Reading accent, entertaining excuses, with the lack of urgency for the renovations made the whole situation mildly amusing.
Removing the darkness and the dampness
The helpful builders
when they turn-up*
will replace the original, rotting, leaky, kitchen roof
The roof does provide a home for many forms of damp-loving wildlife, most notably moss, but I’ll be sacrificing thier habitat for a dry kitchen with sky-light.
Luxury!
* an English colleague has informed me that ‘not turning up on schedule’ is the sign of a highly professional English builder.
A castle isn’t complete without a moat.
In April I booked builders to install a moat in June. In mid july I haven’t yet seen them.
Without a moat how can the Wendy House remain defended from being undermined?
