scribbles tagged ‘chav’

pour the Napoleon brand e

Monday, July 11th, 2011 | tags: , , , ,  |

Getting ready for Barcelona in October. How? Buying a light-weight rain jacket and some comfy sandals! This year I’ve been lucky enough to get an annual bonus so I’ve indulged myself with:

  1. Expensive “Ladies” Linen Barbour Jacket coated with a rough finish polyurethane. Essentailly a jacket that looks wet and has an over-priced classic British brand name. Almost Burberry. Does this make me a chav?
  2. Cheap black leather Sketchers’ “tone-up” sandals. The advertising bumf supplied by the manufacturer says that a clinical study (of 8 people) showed that there is significantly more muscle activity when walking in these compared to normal sandals. That activity will make my bum firmer. Well, there’s fancy foot-technology for you! If the previous purchase hasn’t qualified me as a chav, surely this one will?

These summer purchases will compliment my Ray Bans which are itching to be put in my Tumi Barcelona carry-on bag beside my elderly Animal washkit

If I haven’t already, I’m about to crash through the cusp of chavy. That’s the equivalent of Concorde breaking the sound barrier, only for Brand purchasing

Yeah Baby!

pour the Napoleon brand e
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ponytail

Saturday, July 10th, 2010 | tags: , ,  |

Words of wisdom from  an almost stranger*.  a girl friend from Essex

To get a facelift without invasive surgery or spending a lot of money – grow your hair long enough to wear in a ponytail. 

I am already following this advice

* Past tips provided by Alan the hairdresser.   Lucia the hairdresser, an anonymous  manicurist, a Jackson’s sales assistant, a bus stop philanthropist, a mini salesman, Windows Network Diagnostics, Flat Eric, a girl on a London commuter train  and Reading Police.
ponytail
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proud to chav it

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010 | tags:  |

chaviest person I know: Oh my GOD! they’ve got england falgs on their Jaguar.  Just shows you can’t buy taste, chavs.

I bit my tongue. Resisted the urge to point out that patriotism expressed as flag waving  isn’t the privilidge of chav’s. 

I pulled my Englnad flag from my back pocket, waved it, smiled,

The chaviest person I know glared at me

proud to chav it
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Chavori

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008 | tags: , , ,  |

A narrow boat called ‘Chavori’ on the River Kennet.   A google search for the word Chavori produces very few search results (3 pages) and perplexingly questions whether I wanted to search for ‘behavior’,   the results include texts on the ‘Romany’, ‘Gypsy’ languages.   One article, ‘A memoire of the language of the gypsies as now used in the Turkish Empire’  describes Chavori as ”a young female child.‘   Evidently, many English Romany words have become common usage within the English language e.g. lolly, cosh, cushy and most recently chav.

Chavori
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vodka & food

Friday, May 16th, 2008 | tags: , , , ,  |

Establishment advertising Vodka and food (flickr photoshare)The sign over a Reading downtown establishment says ‘Vodka and Food’,   not ‘Spirits and Sandwiches’   nor ‘Alcohol and Chicken tikka Masala’   not ‘Food and Vodka’,   nor ‘Lunch and Liquor’.   I wonder who their audience is?   I’ve heard about Chav’s’ since returning to Britian,   do Chav’s favour Vodka?

What does he CCTV camera directed at the entrance tell me?   Probably not much since CCTV cameras are almost ubiquitous in UK town centres,   apparantly in 2006 there was one camera for every 14 people,   but maybe it says something that I can’t hear…

 

vodka & food
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