wendy house

why purchase only 1 Valentine’s card when you can save by buying and sending  8?

2 mins silence

In the United Kingdom, although two minutes’ silence is observed on November 11 itself, the main observance is on the second Sunday of November, Remembrance Sunday. Ceremonies are held at local communities’ War Memorials, usually organized by local branches of the Royal British Legion – an association for ex-servicemen. Typically, poppy wreaths are laid by local organisations including the Royal British Legion, ex-servicemen organisations, cadet forces, the Scouts, Guides, Boys’ Brigade, St John Ambulance and the Salvation Army. “The Last Post” is played by a trumpeter or bugler, two minutes’ silence is observed and broken by a trumpeter playing “Reveille”. A minute’s or two minutes’ silence is also frequently incorporated into church services on that day. The main commemoration is held in Whitehall in central London, where the Queen, Prime Minister, and other senior political and military figures join with veterans to lay wreaths at the Cenotaph.

pie-dropping disappointment reigned on our US roadtrip when the place matt under the pie dish declared that the local Swedish Festival in small town Pennsylvania had finished before we arrived.   As a  self-confessed Viking,   I was disappointed to miss the pillaging and:  

• cheer leading clinic (elementary)
• Alberta’s Pie contest
• lip sync contest
• Viking ship races
• Swedish language lessons
• Barber shop quartets,   literally dozen’s of them

See the stain where the pie made an escape attempt on the paper place matt…

The BBC debunks barbering.   The full article is worth reading. Here I’ve pulled extracts that  provide an insight into why Christian Ohio male  teachers might be considered of ill repute if they attended a barber:

“Hair, it seems, had been a very important social and religious issue throughout all of the history of mankind, especially since many ancient superstitions revolved around it…     …In 1308, the world’s oldest barber organisation, still known in London as the “Worshipful Company of Barbers” was founded…     …By the end of the 18th century, most barbers had given up their rights to perform surgery, except in small towns where surgeons were not available. They lost their status and became labourers, fashioning wigs in the 18th and 19th century, and their shops became shady hangouts…     …the art of barbering was revived in 1893 when A. B. Moler established a school for barbers in Chicago. Several years before, in 1886, the Barbers’ Protective Union had been founded in Columbus, Ohio, which eventually became Journeymen Barber’s International on December 5, 1887. In 1897, the State of Minnesota passed the legislation for a barber licence.“

In the 1970′s the English barber shops were still supplying their customers with  ”A little something for the weekend“.   Their exclussively male clients could avoid the embarressment of going into a chemist* to ask  for ‘french letters’ over the counter where the shop assisstant might be  neither male nor discrete and other customers may overhear the request.   That’s very embaressing.   Barbers are discrete and approving of your opportunity to use the french letters.   How do I know this?   Let’s just say ‘word of mouth’  

* Chemist (UK) = Drugstore (US)

The published storyline is that the US government was scared of riots on international labour day, May 1st, and socialism when the date, first Monday in September, was selected.  

In North America the first Monday in September is the “Labor Day Weekend”.    In the US the Monday is a national Holiday.    Not vacation, Holiday.   Vacations appear to be taken by individuals while Holiday’s are  given by the US government.    The US Department of Labor website explaining the history of the US Labor Day does not cite pre-existing “Labour days” in other countries or any international level recognition of the value of labour to society.     Wikipedia has 2 entires on Labour days one for North America (September) and one for the rest of the world   (Labour, May 1st).   The rest of the world entry does  include Canada Labour day,   British spelling,   US compatible date.  

Wikipedia Labour day excerpt:

“A Labour Day is an annual holiday celebrated all over the world that resulted from efforts of the labour union movement, to celebrate the economic and social achievements of workers.   The celebration of Labour Day has its origins in the eight hour day movement, which advocated eight hours for work, eight hours for recreation, and eight hours for rest.”

Wikipedia Labor day excerpt:

“The origins of the American Labor Day can be traced back to the Knights of Labor in the United States and a parade organized by them on September 5, 1882 in New York City. They were inspired by an annual labor parade held in Toronto, Canada. In 1884 another parade was held, and the Knights passed resolutions to make this an annual event. Other labor organizations (and there were many), but notably the affiliates of the International Workingmen’s Association favored a May 1 holiday. With the event of Chicago’s Haymarket riots in early May of 1886, president Grover Cleveland believed that a May 1 holiday could become an opportunity to commemorate the riots. Thus, fearing that it might strengthen the socialist movement, he quickly moved in 1887 to support the position of the Knights of Labor and their date for Labor Day”

One indicator of labour’s health and value,   work-life balance,    does not look positive within the  US  compared to other Nations represented by the United Nations.    PNR reports that:

US companies are perceived as being responsible for an increasingly poor work-life balance… …the U.S. ranks as one of the highest in average annual hours worked per person, a rank that has remained virtually unchanged since 1990, according to statistics from the International Labor Organization at the United Nations.

This fits with my personal experience and appears to influence the whole fluffy notion of ‘way of life’ here in the US.   They are Free to work their sox off and employ services to maximise the efficiency of  their limited ‘life’ time out of work (Nanny’s,   cleaners,   dishwashers,   plummers,   house-painters, Kitchen remodellers,   personal trainers,   gyms…..).

This BBC news  article  descibes the outcome of a UK security exercise that foiled a naughty plot to hijack some planes,  and goodness knows what other naughtiness.   Planes  that were scheduled to go to the US (pre-hijacking).  

The UK police are no doubt using the recently introduced,   controversial,  ‘terrorist’ laws that may infringe on the basic human rights of suspects.   After foiling yesterday’s  attack Britian has been put on high critical terror alert status.   After,   not before.     I don’t understand.   Was the first,   foiled attack actually meant to distract people from the main event,  a second attack, that the security people don’t know enough about to foil without raising the terror alert level?     Before you have time to say ‘yay plot foiled” you have to say “watch out for those pesky terrorists“.   I wonder how the terror alert levels are assessed and levels switched…..    

here’s a wendy-centric set of alert levels:

• Miffed (example = gunpowder plot  referred to in V for Vendetta.  Suspected do-badders)
• Peeved (example =  unfair tax’s, 1767,   1990 Poll tax. Too expensive)
• A  bit cross (example the 1940 WW2 Blitz when tea supplies ran out – No tea)
• A  bloody nuisance (example = great fire of London 1666 –  No homes)

Wendy warning: there is a Wendy  on the loose in Charlotte.   Previous offenses may include but are not limited to:  

• erratic driving in a built-up place.  
• recklessly downing  two 20 ounce glasses of ‘star spangled ale’ in a brewery called ‘Hops’.  
• crossing a road while not completely sober.  
• 700 spelling and typing mistakes per 7000 words written.
• disorderly walking on July 4th

I have not yet been arrested. I am almost a potential criminal.      A potential criminal  is someone who has been arrested (not necessarily guilty) for a crime.   Excel told me that the ethnic group of potential offenders in Charlotte predicts the type of crime they will be guilty of:    

• White people = underage drinking and driving,   robbing banks.  
• People of colour = ‘Disorderly“.  

The blog uses previous offences as a predictor of  subsequent offences.   This constrains opportunities for offender rehabilitation.   If you persisitently treat someone as a criminal you reduce their opportunities for growth.   This is a ‘defensive’ rather than solution focussed approach to criminality.

The BBC reports that 128 pre-teen children in England are going to dance around a May pole while holding ribbons and weaving around each other.    Ideally without any falling over, kicking,   or tying unanticipated knots.   A traditional pre-christian celebration.    

Maybe the “Derby days’ celebrations here this weekend were also a ‘silliness safety valve’.

A local celebration of specialness involved walking around in khaki cargo pants demonstrating evidence of fertility (children) herded on bicycles.   At least,    that’s what it looked like to me.   Me = Furriner.

I was baffled by the city parade today.   “What are we celebrating?” No-one seemed to know.   “It’s Derby Days“,   “What’s that?”.   The sheer abundance of khaki cargo pants was overwhelming.   Is there a conspiracy to reduce visual diversity?  Even women appear to wear variations on the theme.   In this city the dress trends appear to conspire to dampen evidence of diversity.

I wandered into a sport’s bar to see if I can find some World cup soccer.   It was playing an NHL channel.

bar-fly:   what team sports did you play at school

wendy:   hockey

bar-fly:   nods knowingly

wendy: ordinary hockey,   NOT ICE hockey

bar-fly: no ice! I’ve never heard of that.   Do they play on rollerblades?

Attempting to avoid ‘going over the top’ in Black Adder IV:

Baldrick:   I have  a cunning plan

Black Adder: “Well, I am afraid it will have to wait. Whatever it was, I am sure it was better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad. I mean, who would have noticed another madman around here?” killing myself

BBC reports that according to a US official “it was hard to see why the men had not protested about their situation” and according to a Lawyer “one of three who killed themselves was due to be freed but did not know it“.    

Overheard in the US:

• “I’m Swedish” says a rotund lady with an American accent that reveals no hint of Scandinavian rythm.    She demonstrated  no sign of the stylish dress sense  I’d witnessed on my trips to Stockholm and Linköping.   I didn’t ask ‘how’ she was Swedish.  I was only evesdropping on the conversation.   The American she spoke to accepted moved the conversation to another topic.
• “I’m Finnish” a slender girl in an American accent told me.   “How?”  two of her grandparents were born in Sweden before becoming naturalised American citizens.   She had met her grandparents though  never visited Europe.      She knew very little about the country.   I didn’t mentioned my lineage.   She didn’t ask. She appeared to be enjoying telling me about hers.   I was enjoying being an  attentive audience.

The US authorities do not legally recognize dual citizenship.     It seems you can be a US citizen and declare yourself ‘as if’ native of another county.   To be a native of another country doesn’t require  having the benenfit of parents born in that country,   speaking the language, or having visited that country.

My father was born in the Karelia isthmus when it belonged to  Finland.   He holds a Finnish passport and emmigrated to England aged 19.   I was born after he became a British citizen.   My parents were both British citizens.   I know a bit about Finland by virtue of visits to relations, holidays in Scandinavia, stories from Dad, and cultural objects around my parents home.   But that hardly qualifies me to say ‘I’m Finnish’.      I am English.   I only lived one year in Scotland and spent numerous vacations in Wales and Ireland.    I suspect there were probably some Vikings in my mothers family tree.   By American conversational convetions I can probably  say ‘I’m  Viking’.   Watch out for the pillaging,   its overdue….

A draft Wikepedia  entry summarises  multiple categories of  irony.   Without knowledge of these  categories I  used to  use  them in work and  social situations.  

From Wikipedia, my emphasis:

“belief in Britain, Australia, and Canada that Americans are unable to understand the use of irony…     …there are many Americans who do understand and even use irony regularly…     …Americans can be confused by deadpan, ironic comments if they are unaccustomed to double meanings. The unfortunate result is that an American, assuming that what someone says is exactly what they mean, can simply find a visiting Brit rude“

Many = what?   more than 10?

Visiting Brit = what? Someone who intends to return to Britain within 90 days?

In  the US  I have tried to stop using socratic irony at work.   It appears more likely to produce  misconceptions about my actual knowledge and skills.   It gets effective results but I am less likely to be recognised as instrumental in achieving those results.   Sadly, I have felt obliged to change my working style to be perceived as effective at work.

Americans taking my comments ‘literally’ in non-work situations has lead to some bizarre,  unpublishable, misunderstandings.  I perpetuate the likelihood of these misunderstandings by persisting in using  irony in non-work contexts.   Over 40yrs  a spontaneous  use of irony  has beome an  integral part of being Wendy.

Reading the  Wikipedia definitions of irony helped me understand why I experience  many* Americans as ‘earnest’.    I recognise the importance of being earnest.   The US  readers of this blog that are not anticipating irony  should  consider that  many (more than 10)  of my posts are, dead,  ironic.  

* many = those Americans except the Many (10+?)  that understand and use irony.

Fictional* conversation between 2 6yr olds:

Pat:   OW!   why d’you kick me this time?   (tearfully  wipping  away a trace of blood)

Sam: Chris said  you said you don’t like me and someone put dog-poop in my locker and you’ve got a dog  and  you are wearing big kicking boots and I thought you might kick me with them  if  I didn’t break your  kicking leg first  (takes breath) I’ve got some iodine and sticking plaster you can put on that wound.

Pat:  PSYCHO-BULLY!**   You are crazy.  You talk wierd. (calls out to friends while Sam squirts the iodine) Watch out for Psycho-Bully-Sam…

* any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental or unintentionally based on  my subconscious psychic powers.

** not to be confused with the music genre PsyhcoBilly. ‘Pre-emptive attack’  would be  an excellent name for a Psychobilly band….

What-ever your gender or sexual preferences looking* at someone the wrong way*  should not be  justification for job dismissal.

The Guardian reports a case where multinational bank HSBC sacked an employee for looking at another employee the ‘wrong way’*.

I’m planning to wear reflective sunglasses  when dealing with wbankers.  

*described using the emotive term ‘ogling’. Given as  evidence of sexual harassment

“Animal Farm” was standard reading during my English  high-school equivalent education.   This entry’s title  quote is a satirical comment from ‘Animal Farm’.

The BBC reports.  

 ”Six of the largest US ports – New York, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Baltimore, New Orleans and Miami – are currently run by British ports and shipping firm P&O.”

The British are selling P&O to a Company based in the United Arab Emerits (UAE).   Appropriate USA procedures have been followed to vet the purchase  unless you consider all Arabs less ‘equal’ than Brits on a ‘Security’ basis.   It looks like Congress operates on different rules for Arab and Northern European  based countries.   Looks like  Congress  applies a  ’guilty until proven innocent’  rule to Arabic countries.   This  appears  counter to  the principles of Justice applied internally through the US court systems, namely,  innocent until proven guilty.  

Conversation at the check-out in the fridge:

Him: what’s this about Britain selling ports to the AED?

Wendy: Ports? What Ports?  

Him: on the East Coast. To the Arabs

Wendy: Ship-building ports on the East coast of Britain?

Him: No, US ports.

Wendy: Britian is selling ports on the East coast of America to the United Arab Emerits?

Him: Yes.   Bush let  you, but Congress can Veto it. That’s the good thing about America, Congress can veto.   I didn’t vote for Bush. No-one did.  

Wendy: Uh-hu

According to the BBC things are pretty peachy in the South East US.  

The Tukwilla department of homeland security finger-printing process has improved since January 05:

• a flat rate fee for parking.    You no longer have to pay more when they make you wait longer.   You have to  pay on entry.   They are more certain of getting money for their service.

Wendy:   Like your flat rate fees!

Black US car park attendant:  Lovely Jubberly!

Wendy:   (Laughter,   strange to hear a London phrase made popular in the UK cult classic comedy ‘only fools and horses’ from a US blue-collar worker)

• Ticket numbers and seating instead of stand-up line for 4 hours.   Albeit three tickets and three lines,   one after the other,  for unclear reasons.
• Only 3 hours, not 4,  from entering the building to leaving with about 15 minutes actually being finger-printed.
• usability software updates to the fingerprint capture software.   Now the operator can
  • capture the fingerprints with a ‘foot-pedal’,   this enables them to use both hands to make sure your finger is in the right place.
  • get immediate feedback on whether the captured finger-print passes the quality bar.

W proved-finger-prints-are-the-same-as-last-2-visits