:: The Wendy House ::

Reasons why I love Reading 257:  innovative mall decorations

This display made me smile and envy the people who constructed it for the obvious fun in both conceiving of the idea and implementing it.  Very creative and entertaining.  Excellent job. I wonder what their christmas decorations will be like?  I will certainly be returning to the Broad Street mall…

Today is the anniversary of a day when the darned Normans (French of viking origins) defeated the Anglo Saxon’s (English of German and Danish origins).  The English were led by the recently elected (Witenagemot, Witan) Danish Saxon king of England, Harold Godwinson, the nick-namesake of one of our current princes,  just outside a holiday resort called Hastings on the English south coast. 

The invading Norman team were lead by William the bastard who had allegedly been promised the English throne by King Edward the confessor (Saxon).  King Harry’s team had just hiked from York (241 miles, 386 kilometres) in a remarkable 4 - 7 days after fending-off an invasion by the Norwegian King Harald the hard who may have been promised the English throne by a Danish King Canute the hardy.

The basic plot is that William the bastards’ team kills most of Harry Godwinson’s team. 

William the bastard, Duke of Normandy, became William I of England,  namesake of the current heir to the English throne, 2nd in line.  Most histories subsequently refer to William the bastard fellow as ‘William the Conqueror’ or ‘Guillaume le Conquérant’ .  Apparantly Londoners don’t acknowledge or use the ‘conqueror’ part of his rather convincing political spin, they politely refer to him as William Duke of Normandy.  

William’s arrival appears to have marked the end of the system of elected monarchy in England, though the Witan remained in name their role changed to that of the Norman feudally based system where membership was based on gifts of land originating from the King,  effectively a King’s court,  this system later evolved into the current Parliment.

On a linguistic note,  according to Jonathan Stern:

Anglo-Saxon and Norman French wouldn’t agree what gender some noun or other was… so they’d just forget about it and call it “it”.This has created a very flexible language (once referred to as “a lot of foreign words mispronounced”) which often has two subtly different words for things (e.g. compare our “come” and “arrive” with the German “kommen” and the French “arriver” - remember Anglo-Saxon would have been very like German; Norman French was closely related to Parisian French).

The small and yet pleasingly formed Reading Museum within the versataile town hall has its very own hand embroidered 1885 copy of the 70 metre long Bayeux Tapestry.

According to a Westminster tour guide and the world wide words website:

Our parliament comes from the old French parlement, which at first meant only a “talk, consultation, conference” (it derives from the same French word parler, “to speak” as parlance, parley and parlour, the last of which, etymologically, is a “room set aside for conversation”). Later parlement evolved to the sense “formal consultative body” and so to “legislative body”.

Now that was interesting,  wasn’t it? 

The US the tax year runs from January 1st to December 31st.  The UK Tax, fiscal, year runs from April 6th to April 5th based on 18th Century ‘quarter days’ when servants were traditionally hired and ’rent’ was gathered from the predominantly non-home-owning population and,  of course, the introduction of Tax to support the Napoleonic wars.  Those darned French.  The UK corporate financial year runs from April 1st  to March 31st,  something to do with not loosing money when the Gregorian calendar was introduced.

I think of my P60,  provided by my employer as being like my US W2.

Do not destroy

The P60 helpfully announces this instruction in bold type on its authority-imbued graduated pinkness.

I’m currently somewhere in Cambridgeshire dressed as a 1940’s French Cabaret artiste pretending to be at a dinner party in Casablanca while trying to work out which of the other guests,  or me,   murdered someone.  

I’ll probably need some character witnesses so vouch for me,  if you see me.

The people pictured on this sign on a bridge over the river Kennet do not look altogether happy about Reading gas company.  I wonder who they are meant to be?   Maybe it is King Henry I who founded the Reading Abbey in 1121 and was subsequently buried there before its completion.  The Abbey was built with stone from France and staffed by French monks from Cluny.  Maybe the chap in the crown is king Henry VIII who was responsibly for dissolving the Abbey and martyring the last Abbot by the gruesomely messy method of ‘hung drawn and quartered’ for failing to swear an oath of allegiance to Henry VIII as the supreme leader of the church in England.  Four of Henry VIII wives died (and 2 more a little later)*,  maybe that’s who the four other people are and why they look so sad.  Does anyone out there know?

*edited after AFH’s insightful comment

A new word.

It doesnt mean:

• an entrapreneur on intranets.
• an introverted entrapreneur.
• the space between more multiple entrepreneurs.

It is actually a contraction of ‘internal entrapreneur’ attributed to a 1983 UK PhD thesis.  It’s possible I’ll explore the subtle distinction in meaning and its French origins later.  Or possibly not.

yesterday several people dropped by :: the Wendy House ::  for tea on the way to, or from, cycle rides,  wedding anniversaries, de-salinated dudes, and other more unmentionable doings. 

People bought things as conversation pieces and talked about them and talked about sailing,  fables. cuckoo clocks and the French. Urgghhhh, I realised 30 seconds before people other than  LaCroix arrived,  maybe the Bonzo Dog Doodah band wasn’t right musical accompanyment for an afternoon of tea and conversation with North Americans.   LaCroix saved the afternoon…  

Tea was consumed by the pot-load,  green, white and a red (Rooibos, not really tea).  Subtle (white) through to strong (Assam),  with and without biscuits,  dunkakable.   I had a fabulous time.  I must remember to ensure that my guest have a fabulous time too.  Ooops.  When the tea flows I’m accustomed to leaving enjoyment to fate…  

Thankyou guestipoos,  you know who you are, you were wonderful and frighteningly well turned-out too 

Niece (teenage):  “I HATE YOU”

Bros: “do you know how to say that in French?”

Niece: “Je tu déteste”

Bros: “shouldn’t that be Je vous déteste?”

Neice: “NO, you are tu and I hate you”

By this stage I’ve fallen off my chair giggling and started dribbling tea on my woolly jumper (It was cold in England).  During my 4 day stay I managed to avoid my niece’s wrath without ducking or walking into any nearby walls.

Conversation in the currency exchange shop:

manager:  are you a city fan?

Wendy:  city?

manager: Manchester

Wendy: I’m a Pompey fan (sniggers)

manager:  I don’t like Zidane

Wendy:  he’s French

Algerian Customer: he’s Algerian, Like I’m Algerian,  though I am an American citizen and I drive a Mercedes that’s my Mercedes there (points out of un-treated window)

The conversation rapidly went down hill from here on with the Manager admitting that he’d never heard of David Beckham and the Algerian describing how football (US = Soccer) had changed his life.  Meanwhile I swapped my US Dollars for English, not Scottish,  pounds and compared the design properties of the 5 and 20 denominations:

Differences:

1. irrespective of the denomination US dollars are all the same size.  There is no way for a blind person to distinguish between denominations by touch alone.  English notes are all unique sizes,  smaller sizes = smaller values.
2. US notes have the denomination displayed on all 4 corners,  on both sides.  This supports visual search to identify the amount.  For something as commonly used as currency a single location should suffice because people will learn where to look.  English pounds use the top 2 corners to print the amount.
3. The English notes have a distinctive colour that marks the denomination.  Above you can see that the £5 is green and the £20 is purple.  US dollars appear to be all the same colours.  People who cannot read the numbers on the notes (normally very short people) can learn the value of each note based on ints size and colour.  This helps ensure the illiterate are not discriminated against when attempting to purchase something.
4. The Queen’s image is on all English legal currency. US notes normally have a president (i.e. lots of elected men) here its Lincoln ($5) & Andrew Jackson($20). 
5. On the reverse side the English pounds are culturally significant contributors;  Elizabeth Fry (£5) with some dudes and girls doing good deeds,  Edward Elgar (£20) with Worcester Cathedral and St. Cecilia.  The US dollar reverse sides show presidential related buildings;  the Lincoln Memorial ($5) and the White House ($20).
6. The US notes have the phrase “In God We Trust” on the back.  English notes do not mention the relationship to the State recognised God. 
7. Clear oval area for viewing the intricate water mark (oval area with no print) and silver threaded through the English notes.

 NPR reports on how the US Embassy decides not to pay the London congestions charges.   The report is rather disappointing because it focuses on Ken Livingstone’s expressive style, essentially criticising Ken, rather than the fundamental issue of whether the US Embassy should be exempt from paying the London congestion charges. 

More recently, the New York Times reports on the French Embassy’s announcement of not paying the congestion charges now that the congestion zone has been extended to include their embassies base.  The report includes userful information pertinent to the basic principles at stake here though does not focus the article whether or not Diplomats should be exempt from paying the charges

Excerpts:

The charge for a vehicle entering the center of London during weekday business hours is roughly $15 a day, and it has inspired some other European capitals, notably Stockholm, to follow suit. While European officials say that roughly half of the European Union’s 25 members are refusing to pay the charge in London, Sweden is not among the rebels….

…Ken Livingstone, announced a plan to cut bus and tram fares by half for about 250,000 people who live on welfare…

…According to Transport for London, the official body running the city’s transit system, the American embassy owes more than $1.95 million in unpaid congestion charges and fines already….   …“Those embassies that flout the law of this country and misuse diplomatic immunity to avoid the charge are enjoying the benefits of reduced congestion but contributing nothing,” Transport for London said in a statement.

My impression is that this toll is imposed as part of a set of measures to improve the experience of travelling in inner city London.  A praiseworthy social goal.  It is accompanied by other actions to improve the public transport system.  I do not see why foreign Diplomats should be exempt from paying tolls that improve the environment within which they are based.   I pay for the services that I use while I live in America,  Diplomats should pay for the services they use while living abroad. 

Am I missing something here?

The Daily Telegraph reports that an:

“English secretary is bringing a test case under French labour law after allegedly being sacked for bringing her employers into disrepute by writing a…    …blog describing her everyday life…

…Her blog postings… …do not reveal her own name….  …..and have never identified her employers*…. …..she made herself and therefore the firm identifiable by including her own photograph** on the weblog“

ce n’est pas de ja vu

• *my employer is the absolute dogs bollocks. 
• **any similarity to me in photographs on, or linked from, this blog is purely coincidental.

Paranoid?  Moi?  Non!  I normally walk this way due to an old injury sustained by falling off a bar-stool during a fit of impudently unanounced giggles and several pints of pre-planned Marston’s Pedigree.

The BBC debunks barbering.  The full article is worth reading. Here I’ve pulled extracts that provide an insight into why Christian Ohio male teachers might be considered of ill repute if they attended a barber:

“Hair, it seems, had been a very important social and religious issue throughout all of the history of mankind, especially since many ancient superstitions revolved around it…   …In 1308, the world’s oldest barber organisation, still known in London as the “Worshipful Company of Barbers” was founded…   …By the end of the 18th century, most barbers had given up their rights to perform surgery, except in small towns where surgeons were not available. They lost their status and became labourers, fashioning wigs in the 18th and 19th century, and their shops became shady hangouts…   …the art of barbering was revived in 1893 when A. B. Moler established a school for barbers in Chicago. Several years before, in 1886, the Barbers’ Protective Union had been founded in Columbus, Ohio, which eventually became Journeymen Barber’s International on December 5, 1887. In 1897, the State of Minnesota passed the legislation for a barber licence.“

In the 1970’s the English barber shops were still supplying their customers with ”A little something for the weekend“.  Their exclussively male clients could avoid the embarressment of going into a chemist* to ask for ‘french letters’ over the counter where the shop assisstant might be neither male nor discrete and other customers may overhear the request.  That’s very embaressing.  Barbers are discrete and approving of your opportunity to use the french letters.  How do I know this?  Let’s just say ‘word of mouth’ 

* Chemist (UK) = Drugstore (US)

The Doomsday book, a survey of England completed in 1086, is one of those historical artifacts that every English schoolchild learns about, part of a sense of cultural identity,  like the date 1066 when the french fellow “William the Conqueror’ successfully invaded and commissioned it to work out what he could TAX.  As of today the Doomsday book is available online.   For the English the term “doomsday” has become synonymous with a thorough and detailed ‘Directory”,  as illustrated by the online Dalek Doomsday book.

This passport is a replacement for a passport ‘Declared LOST’, urgh.  I anticipate delays and humiliation at US immigration.   My new 10yr UK passport ID page has this special warning printed on the back:

Pretty illustrations of different birds on each page and dual language (English and French) almost make up for the likely extra detailed questioning when trying to get back into the US.  Sigh.

Inbetween watching world cup soccer I am

• washing floors 
• scrubbing ‘restrooms’,
• de-fluffing the fluffballs
• writing my annual work performance review
• drinking enough tea to sink a large, ill-tempered, French goat. 
• staying away from people I might impulsively bite (because it’s THAT time of the month)

Anyone want to swap places for the weekend?

No pedestrian crossing’s or sidewalks in this district.  Everyone drives.  I just wanted to pick up some supplies from a store near my hotel without getting into the car.  A low slung car pulled up as I looked for a gap in traffic to cross the road

shiny black man:  wanna ride?  white-toothy-grin

Wendy “thanks,  but no thanks” yellow-toothy-grin

He pulled away.  A helpful native?  A guy with a thing about skinny older white chicks?  Someone surrupticiously working out whether I was a street walker? A budding serial killer?  I’ll never know.

Outside the deserted suburbian strip mall Hotel a group of men loiter, smoking.  No-one is white.  The Hotel provides free ’beer’ (lager) to residents between 4 and 5pm.  This fills the lobby with the elegantly labelled ’business men’.  The mature manageress proudly referred to the hotel’s 20yrs history and recent renovations to suit it’s business clientelle.  It certainly meets basic needs.  It is in some taste of finery that doesn’t permeate my senses.  It feels bland.  Only the people make it special.  She complimented me on my ‘cute accent’.   I returned the compliment.  Her drawl is kind to the listener and speaker.  No hurry,  think before you speak,  its ok to ponder. Even the lifts are slow. I like it.  She giggled as if no-one had ever told her she sounded cute.  Her cell phone rang,  she left…

In the foyer an attractive 44yr old black man talked about his business.  He’s training chef’s across the east coast.  He pondered on how he came to this point in his life.  An easily shared story of college and job changes. He has a french speaking friend from the Ivory coast who now owns a cafe somewhere in Paris.  He commented that I looked European.  I giggled.  Can he not hear my accent? Is this a subtle form of politeness?  He asked if I can spot Americans.  I looked at his faded,  XL t-shirt and khaki cut-off cargo pants while pondering telling the truth. I told the truth without citing khaki cargo pants or t-shirts.  Then my colleague arrived wearing khaki cargo pants and a t-shirt and we left to meet 3 more American people,  all of whom wore khaki cargo pants and t-shirts.

This design webpage cites several examples of how right handedness influences real world design. Of spiral staircases it says:

Visit any church or castle in Europe next time you are there and you will probably find a spiral staircase or two. Most of them spiral anti-clockwise as they go down (and thus clockwise as they go up). Apparently this was to favor defensive sword use should the building be overrun at any time. If you are up the spiral staircase and are right-handed and facing down the stairs you will have the central axis of the stairs on your left and you will be able to swing your sword at your foe coming up the stairs. He on the other hand will have the central axis on his right and so it will be directly in the way of his sword swings. There is enough contemporaneous information to back up which hand swordsmen used to use in those days…”

‘John Cabot’ sailed to America from Bristol in 1496.  Apparently he is widely accredited as being the first European to discover North America since the Vikings.  In Bristol there is a tower dedicated to him.  This web-page describes the tower with quirkily expressed appreciation of the spiral staircase direction. 

Several castles specifically had clockwise down spiral staircases with left-handed swordsmen to protect them.  why is this good?  Left handed swordsmen normally fight right handed swordsman but the converse is not so, consequently left handed swordsmen are more well practiced in fighting a right-hander than righthanders are in fighting a left-hander. Left handers are often more effective in some ’sports‘ such as ‘fencing’.

Why do castle staircases predominantly spiral one direction based on handedness while driving-sides vary?  The shifting use of the right hand from wielding a weapon against a potential adversary to using a whip on pairs of horses pulling a heavy load appears to have played a significant role.  This webpage describes the evolution of different driving sides.  It cites American and French ‘teamsters’ for initiating a shift from road users predominantly passing with their left hands on the nearside followed by the Napoleonic empire pushing the new standard throughout Europe and the British for doing their “best to stave off global homogenisation“.  This excerpt describes the beginning of the shift:

In the past, almost everybody travelled on the left side of the road because that was the most sensible option for feudal, violent societies. Since most people are right-handed, swordsmen preferred to keep to the left in order to have their right arm nearer to an opponent and their scabbard further from him. Moreover, it reduced the chance of the scabbard (worn on the left) hitting other people.

Furthermore, a right-handed person finds it easier to mount a horse from the left side of the horse, and it would be very difficult to do otherwise if wearing a sword (which would be worn on the left). It is safer to mount and dismount towards the side of the road, rather than in the middle of traffic, so if one mounts on the left, then the horse should be ridden on the left side of the road.

In the late 1700s, however, teamsters in France and the United States began hauling farm products in big wagons pulled by several pairs of horses. These wagons had no driver’s seat; instead the driver sat on the left rear horse, so he could keep his right arm free to lash the team. Since he was sitting on the left, he naturally wanted everybody to pass on the left so he could look down and make sure he kept clear of the oncoming wagon’s wheels. Therefore he kept to the right side of the road…   …An official keep-right rule was introduced in Paris in 1794, more or less parallel to Denmark, where driving on the right had been made compulsory in 1793

Wendy left-handed-inconsistent-potentially-dangerous-passer

“One secret enemy, a physician named Weulles, secretly poisoned Descartes, under the cover of medicine. The great mathematician was buried in Sweden, but his head was severed from his body. ” (Source)

 

There is even a book that refers to the missing skull as part of a conspiracy that isn’t called “The Descartes Code“…   Lets put the Skull on hold for a moment and follow the body’s journey as detailed on internet pages:

“As a Catholic in a Protestant nation, he was interred in a graveyard mainly used for unbaptized infants in Adolf Fredrikskyrkan. ” (source)

“In 1667, his remains were taken to Paris and buried in the Church of St. Genevieve-du-Mont.” (source)

 

Burial # 3:  Paris, Pantheon

“During the French Revolution, his remains were disinterred for burial in the Pantheon among the great French thinkers.” (source)

 

“The French treasurer general, who supervised the move of the body, kept the bones from Descartes’ right hand as a personal souvenir. About this, the great mathematician Jacobi said, “It is often more convenient to possess the ashes of great men than to possess the men themselves during their lifetime.”  (source)

 

Burial # 4:  Paris, St. Germain-des-Pres

“His tomb is now in the church of St. Germain-des-Pres.” (source)

Museum of Natural History in France.”  (source)

“they lie in separate locations: his body in a crypt and his skull on display in a tawdry museum.”   (Source)

 

There is a macabre irony in the possibility that since death his head has never been united with his body. 

This entry was inspired by a marvellously entertaining (fictional) discussion in the excellent novel I’m reading;  Malcom Bradbury’s ‘The Hermitage“. 

W

Of all the potential explanations given,  I like this one best:

“Pushkin who refers to the French as frogs because when they say “quai, quai” it sounds like a croaking frog.”

“The first element of the word, “cata,” is probably related to “cater,” also found in the related word “catercorner” (or, as many folks know it, “cattycorner” or “kittycorner”). “Cater” in these words is an Anglicization of the French “quatre,” or “four,” and “catercornered” originally just meant “four-cornered.” To specify that something is “catercorner across” from something else is to stress the diagonal axis of an imaginary box, as opposed to saying “directly across” or just “across.” Both “catercorner” and “catawampus” are native American colloquialisms dating back to the 1880’s or earlier.” (scroll down on source)