scribbles tagged ‘error’

problem reports and solutions

Friday, June 5th, 2009 | tags: , , , , , , ,  |

169 problems!Windows Vista provides problem reports and solutions. That  is helpful for people who want to try and fix something now, cheaply.   We don’t have to  pay for a service specialist or spend hours fiddling in the depths of the control panel.  This  is quite nice of them.   Or is it?

All Neverland’s 169 reported problems are atribbuted to Windows rather than other applications.   Should I be alarmed by Windows?  Or, iIs this because other programs don’t use the Windows  problem reporting system or is it because Windows has an infinitely  higher problem rate?

On planet wendy there are no problem reportsbecause the program causing the problem would receive the report, fix it then make me a cup of tea and compliment me on my choice of frock.

problem reports and solutions
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not OK

Sunday, April 19th, 2009 | tags: , , , , , ,  |

Microsoft Visual C + + Runtime Library (MVCRL) kindly burst this  little message onto Neverland which left me

SCARED:    an  exclamation mark,   a red circle with white cross and   the word ‘error’.   This looks serious.   Something is broken.

CONFUSED:  

  • application?   do I need to rub lanolin on my computer?
  • runtime?   do I need to run somewhere and time it?   what does this mean?   Why am I being told it?
  • Did it get stuck in the stack overflow?
  • Why tell me?

INSTRUCTED:   to contact IE7 and, or, MVCRL support teams for more information looks like I should  know more.

UNINFORMED: how do I contact them,   how do I find out how to contact them?

IE 7 runtime errorIf the Microsoft IE7 team’s program (application?)  is going to make unusual requests to the Microsoft VCRL team’s program (application?) it should do it directly without hassling me to learn technical jargon and find out how to contact them then PAY for the pleasure of talking to them because they can’t be bothered to talk to each other before shipping software that produces errors and causes me emotional distress.

Pooooeeey

not OK
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stack overflow

Saturday, April 18th, 2009 | tags: , , ,  |

I was browsing along minding my own business, or rather minding the business of Schrockthehouse when suddenly,   without warning I was accosted by a stack overflow on line 1.

What is a girl to do?

I was totally unprepared for this outpouring of stack,   this flow from line 1.   Do I need help?     Do I need a new stack?   Do I need  a stack-removal operation from a highly qualified expensive surgeon?   Should I phone a stack-support line?   I was confused and frightened.

It’s alright because there was a button telling me it was OK.

Phew.

Stack overflow at line 1 of Schrockthehouse

stack overflow
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cannot change dates

Thursday, April 16th, 2009 | tags: , , , , ,  |

In some circumstances computer systems can deliberately stop people from making ‘Errors’.    This is an  example of a system preventing the people that use it from making ‘errors’ by trying to do rather useful things:    

Wendy:   can I move the car insurance start date back by one week?

Car Insurance Agent (CIA):   No

Wendy:   Oh (signifying complete suprise at this rude treatment of a potential non-customer)

CIA:   you will have to cancel the whole policy and then open a completely new one with a different start date

Wendy:   Computer system makes you do that?   It wont let you just change start dates?

CIA:   Yes

It took us 30 minutes to cancel,   then re-apply for the same car insurance with a different start date.   2 sets of documents are in the post.    

Wendy:   Are you from Hull?

CIA:   Leeds,   its quite near to Hull

Good weather in Leeds.

cannot change dates
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client error

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 | tags: , , ,  |

Client Errorwho me?

I’m a client of Google services,

I made an error in my request,   really?   ERROR?!

I do make mistakes.    The word ‘Error’ is not one that I use to describe my mistakes.   This message is agressively accusatory and not particulalrly helpful.   Google could easily adopt a more user centric tone of voice,  less personally offensive,  if gramatically flawed,  by saying something like:

”Ooops,   Google doesn’t understand what you just did.   Can you check  to see if you made a mistake please?

I suppose I should be glad that I didn’t have to abort, kill or delete anything though I have occassionaly been caught aborting a kettle,   deleting cat-poop, and killing my laundry.     Shit like that does happen, and not by mistake.

client error
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hold on…

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 | tags: , , , ,  |

I had the pleasure of paying BT to listen to the Indesit  messages below  for  a full 20 minutes before dropping the receiver with a thunk that ended the call.   A thunk not dissimilar to that made by my washing machine before  it too resorted to silence….

…We are encountering an unusually high level of calls to our company, but are working to connect you shortly…

…thankyou for calling,   you call has been placed on hold and you will be attended to as soon as an operator becomes free…

…your call is important to us and we are attempting to connect you to the person or department you require…

…thankyou for your patience, we will connect you shortly…

…Our operators are aware that you are holding and wiull connect you as soon as possible…

…we apologise for the delay…

An email to Indesit support describing my problem resulted in them giving me this link to a list of their error codes.   Hmmmm….

For the luxury of John Lewis’s service I’m tempted to buy a new machine…

hold on…
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personal coach

Saturday, May 31st, 2008 | tags: , , , ,  |

Feeling pleased with myself for first discovering how to create a useful survey in Microsoft Office Sharepoint 2003,   then created one,   I finally sent  a link  out to some colleagues asking for feedback on the survey content.  

Colleague:   Do you want feedback on all the typing, spelling,  grammar and spacing errors?

 The words ‘wind’ and ‘sails’, (or sales),  with a liberal dose of ‘removed’   colons; semi-colons, commas and apostrophes galloped around my mind as I wondered whether ‘discrete personal editorial coaches’ is a job description gaining momentum  in the  service industry  …

personal coach
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human error

Monday, May 12th, 2008 | tags: , , , ,  |

A new, imitiation, old phone arrived to replace the genuine 1930’s BT compliant phone that somehow disappeared during my relocation.   When plugged into my phone socket,   no dial tone,   it didn’t work.  The BT support operative was extremely helpful as she talked me through various in-house tests then finally succumbed to a request to send an engineer around.   The engineer was scheduled to arrive sometime between 8am and 1pm.   at 12.58 I recieved a phonecall from him to say he was only streets away.   He turned up and then disappeared again for 2hrs.  

Apparantly he’d tracked my problem to a green box outside Palmers park.  

He explained this was human error

its always human error

the technology works fine

people are stupid.  

Can you see  any problems in this reasoning?      

 

 

human error
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Style challenged!

Thursday, February 16th, 2006 | tags: , ,  |

This is the first-post I’ve written using this pretty  template.   But the published bit looks different from the preview.   I’ve written to the template author for advice to see if she can help me make it look all pretty.

I suspect this ‘Error’ is the guilty culprit….   .do I want to run scripts?     Gosh,   that question probably doesn’t have a simple answer… …I’ll have a beer and contemplate researching it… …later

error message from template

W style-challenged

Style challenged!
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