wendy house

Wendy:  Do you remember Rod Stewarts haircut in his early years? When he was in The Faces?  about the time of Maggie May?  No.  Silly question. You are clearly way too young.  It’s an early ’70’s cut, short on top and longer at the back,  it was called a feather cut

Alan: like a mullet

Wendy: Yes! That’s what I want,  a 70’s kitch mullet

Alan:  you’ll need a lot of product

Wendy: Oh <mindful not to argue with the hairdresser before he starts cutting>

I got exactly what I asked for.  Hoorah,  it certainly turned heads on the street

Rod Stewart sang the first cut

Hairdresser Business Owner (HBO): you’ve been in before haven’t you?

Wendy: yes, only once several months ago,  its grown a lot and kept a very good shape, it was a good cut

HBO: yes,  I remember. Lucia, the Phillipino lady, cut your hair really short.  She’s in the Phillipines as the moment,  she owns a bed and breakfast there and its their peak season,  its alright for some!

HBO: your scalp is a bit sensitive,  do you have a stressful job?

Wendy: (giggles) Sort of because…(unpublishable)

While the assistant washes my way-past-its-cut-by-date mop the HBO checks her records. 

HBO: you came in here last September, no wonder its grown so much

Wendy: I’m impressed that you recognised me

We talked about her business,  she hasn’t been hit by the credit crisis because ‘everyone needs a haircut’  and her business has been established for over 9 years.  We both agreed that we liked Reading a lot because of the nice people we’ve met here.  She was born in Reading,  studied in London with Vidal Sassoon,  travelled the world then came back to Reading to set-up her business. 

It’s the best haircut I’ve had in over a decade. 

I’m a very happy bunny

Words of wisdom from my outrageously expensive and handsome, former professional-brick-layer, young product-dispensing hairdresser are temporarily on hold while I investigate cheaper less product-pushing alternatives.  This tip is bought to you courtesy of Lucia from the Philippines in her own local family business salon:

keep your hair short in the winter

Before I could consider the merits of this tip,  Lucia had launched her scissors into the remnants of my mop which is now,  indeed,  short for the winter.

Words of wisdom from my outrageously expensive and handsome, former professional-brick-layer, young product-dispensing hairdresser:

you want asymmetrical

As usual,  I’ll be taking Alan’s tip very seriously and following up on this gem of wisdom

Words of wisdom from my outrageously expensive and handsome, former professional-brick-layer, young product-dispensing hairdresser:

treat your mum to a night in the Mallard suite at the Malmaison,  it has a ground floor patio,  an en-suite train-set and wooden sinks which look like you can pick them up and walk away with them

As usual,  I’ll be taking Alan’s tip very seriously and following up on this gem of wisdom

Words of wisdom from my outrageously expensive and handsome young product-dispensing, ex-pro-brick-layer, hairdresser:

Your job should be something you are passionate about

As usual,  I’ll be taking Alan’s tip very seriously and following up on this gem of wisdom

Words of wisdom from my outrageously expensive and handsome young product-dispensing hairdresser:

If someone has been shouting at you for playing football near their house and generally been grumpy and verbally abusive whenever they see you,  don’t get into their car when they follow you along the street and start insisting that you accept a lift from them while smiling and being uncharacteristically smarmy

As usual,  I’ll be taking Alan’s tip very seriously and following up on this gem of wisdom

Words of wisdom from my outrageously expensive and handsome young product-dispensing hairdresser:

If you’re looking for a good winebar the best place in Reading is the Forbury Hotel restaurant bar

As usual,  I’ll be taking Alan’s tip very seriously and following up on this gem of wisdom

Words of wisdom from my outrageously expensive and handsome young product-dispensing hairdresser:

“I picked up a newer model of my current phone,  after one night’s use the pictures were terrible,  all fuzzy.  I took the phone back and they said they couldn’t exchange it because it was working probably properly*,  I asked what should I do? and they said,  Vodaphone support said, change to another service provider they even recommended one!”

He certainly knows a thing or thirty-two about almost everything.

*editted multiple times post-publication to remove the superfluous, random, and just darn wanton spelling mistakes

Words of wisdom from my outrageously expensive and handsome young product-dispensing hairdresser:

Have you tried Nirvana?  you should, you deserve it

After all the cleaning,  box unpacking and furniture moving excitement of this weekend Alan’s clearly a fellow who knows how to point a Wendy in the right direction. 

Words of wisdom from my outrageously expensive and handsome young product-dispensing hairdresser:

Legend, even with Will Smith in it, it’s just another zombie film