wendy house

A common feature of English Victorian buildings is the tilework in the entrance and hallways. 

The Wendy House doesn’t have this type of timework.  Adding it is on my list of those things that one day I might do….

Things move around in the kitchen.  They move when I’m not looking. They are not malicious, just playful. Last week I lost the milk. Two days later I found a rather warm and lively milk bottle in the microwave.  My mugs often move from the dresser to the microwave. 

I wonder what I’ll find in the microwave this morning?

lady at stable door: I live in that house there, we’ve just had a wasp nest treated and those left alive are a bit cranky, probably best to keep the cats in and the doors and windows shut

wendy: there’s a lot of them about this year

The people that packed my belongings in Seattle, unpacked my belongings in Reading, had no interest in maintaining the integrity of the alphabeticalisation of my CD collection.  I cringed with the knowledge that I would not be able to find a CD in less than 27.5 sec (on average) because I would not know where it was, on which shelf….

Strangely, for nearly 2 years, there was always something better to do than spend an afternoon reinstating the alphabeticalisation of my CD collection. Until today.  Today

David Bowie sits next to David Byrne and Nirvana by No Doubt

Paul Bendell, MBPR,  from Berkshire pest control took one look at the nest and in classic call-out service person style he shook his head slowly, sucked air through his teeth and said

Sampo has a duff sense of smell.  She ignores catnip, freshly cooked fish, chicken, meat, any and all cheeses and cat-treats.  Sampo compensates for her lack of olfactory sensitivity by being hyper-sensitive to sound.  Her favourite sound is me immitating a Sean Connery accent. 

Tip #1 for winning Sampo’s affection – immitate Sean Connery

On a rowdy summer weekend I’ll do things like sand-down then put 3 coats of ronseal varnish on both front doors.  Much cheaper than gym subscriptions and a good work-out for my arms.

The new stovetop kettle on the verge of a  full blown  boil while the two mechanical clocks tick-tock and two organic kitties stretch-snore

Terry: this chimney was added after the house was built

wendy: what makes you think that?

Terry: none of the chimney brickes are meshed with the outside walls

He then whacks another brick out of the bottom of the chimney and dust motes swirl through the sunshine.

The Wendy House was originally a coach house for one of the larger houses nearby.   The large house is now two large family homes and the wendy house sits behind them.   It always seemed a bit odd that a coach storage room would have a chimney.   The Coach house became a garage and the garage was converted into a home in the late 1960′s.   It’s likely that the chimney was added at this time.

Got WOOD!

Or rather, for £15, Thomas gathered 0.4 cubic metres of mixed wood types from Nettlebed Sawmill and shuttled them to the Wendy House woodshed. It was like stepping into the Waltons, the nearby saw operator smirked charmingly as I loaded Thomas…

Home can be anywhere, anytime,
It can be in more than one place and time.  
Home is always there and never there.  
Unlike Rome my home doesnt need time to be built.
Like a shadow it follows me around.
Always welcoming,  its presence  waxes and wanes through my days.

Morcheeba sang rome wasn’t built in a day

Spoilt for choice in a local antiques shop

Picking a plain wrought iron poker for the to-be-installed over-hyphenated wood-burning stove

Breathing-in was required to walk between the goodies.    The tiny antiques shop brimmed with lovely practical gadgets. It was like walking through a museum store room. There were leather straps for sharpening razors, there were  copper kettles and iron flat irons. I was lucky to get out of the shop having bought only a poker

My self-control can be utterly astounding

Paul from warm interiors popped round to look at the Wendy House’s wooden roof  beams.   When the fireplace is opened-up to install the woodburning stove Paul  will be making a fireplace opening lintel from oak to match the roof beams.  The lintel will have bolts and hooks like the original (circa 1845) beams.   Excitement levels are on their way up in the Wendy House.

It’s beautiful

This weekend my gimlet helped me get dozens of flush screws in the woodshed

What was once  a flat pack is now a full 3 dimenisonal experience with an asphalt roof.   No avatar necessary,   just a black and decker power drill, tape measure, tacks, hammer and the essential gimet

Cas:   hello Dr. Wendy

Wendy: Wow, I’m impressed that you remembered me and that I’m a Dr!

Cas explained the differences between multifuel and wood burning stoves as she pulled together a costing for converting my fireplace (gas fire).  

Paul:  you’ve over-estimated the cost of the chimney liner, knock 20 feet of the height, Wendy lives in the cottage

 Wendy: you even remember where I live!

Paul: and we put the fireplace in there about  7 years ago for the last owner.   We’ve done most of the fireplaces round here, we’ve been here for 20 years.

Cas handed me lots of manufacturers brochures to help me choose a stove and I bounced out into the wet snowless winter weather.

For your own safety, please avoid walking under the permanently affixed  luminance apparatus  on the Wendy House frontage

Sorry for the inconvenience

This message is bought to you courtesy of wendy, the fluffballs, January snow…

…the cup of T

and the number 3

A trickle of water from the cold water tap.  

Less that a trickle from the hot water tap,  

Not enough flow to ignite the combi-bolier heating.   Brrrr…  

I made a cup of tea,   inspecting all visible pipes in the house and the stop-cock that supplies water to the house.  

All were well.

Thames Water website show a daily list of major water mains leaks and areas they affect.   There is a leak nearby, but it shouldn’t be affecting my home.   There is a note that they are having difficulty getting to burst water mains  and that the phones are very busy.   I should be  patient.  

I coat, boot and glove-up.   Then carry  my spade through the ice and snow covered garden.

The garden water tap is frozen. I can’t turn it. No sign of a leak.   I get to the roadside and dig out my water valve and check the meter.   It’s not ticking over.   No water coming onto my property.   Phew, no leak on my property means I dont have to call out a plumber on my expense.   Inconvenience rather than inconvenience and financial burden.   Phew.

The neighbors have no water at all.    I offer them use of my trickle to fill their kettle for tea.   We watch as a child hikes by with 4 large bottles of water.   A man walks by and asks if we have water,   we tell him no and he is pleased.   He’s just visited his lonely frightened mother, he goes back to reasure her that its the water mains.  

Plenty of white snow around for creating untreated water.  I’m not going to die of thirst in the near future or run out of Tea  

I wonder if snow is full of chemicals or fresh enough to drink as it once was.  Luckily I haven’t had to find out – yet.

The trickle from my tap filled some bottles for tea and the bath to flush the toilet.

Angel is a  young (late 20′s) local boy who reminds me of the ‘Charles’ character in  the film ‘4 weddings and a funeral‘.  

Angel:   Yes….Yes…my home was broken into 4 years ago….they took everything….everything small….small enough to carry……mobile phones…..DVD player……they didn’t take my Cello….it is portable,  in a case with a handle,  you can carry it….they didn’t take it.

Wendy:   Oh (signifiying acknowledgement of the value of a person’s Cello)

Angel:  Yes.   Good thing really

Wendy: Yes……..      I’ve got a friend whose sister is called Hilary, like Jacqueline du Pré

Angel:   Yes…….         ………Yes……..   ……..must go……        got a train to catch.

British Gas sent a comedy duo round to deal with my Sparky sockets,  

The conversation quickly turned from  morbid  diagnstic

British Gas Electician (BGE):   how do you know this socket is the problem?

Wendy: the cascade of sparks that came out of it when the fuse blew

BGE: what time of day was this?

Wendy:  dusk

BGE:  Sparks always look worse in the dark.   Oh, now  THAT is BLACK!   Simon,   come and look at this

Simon: You wouldn’t BELIEVE some of the things we see….

BGE: the socket’s not earthed

Simon: Once we went into this house where…

British Gas sent a comedy duo round to deal with my Sparky sockets.  

British Gas Electician (BGE):   My cat died yesterday,   he was 15,

Wendy: Matrix is 15

BGE: he looks it

Wendy:   (silence)

person 1: what’s your favourite road?

Wendy: A68

person 2: yeah,   that’s got some nice (demonstrates bends and hillocks with his hands while making excellent sound effects)

person 3: what about the road that goes down to Cornwall?

person 4: Yeah,   the A30

The conversation continues in this vien.   I feel that I’ve found home.   Next time I may mention buses,   what do you think?

A couple of friends are in the process of selling one and purchasing another gorgeous home in downtown Reading, near the Wendy House.  

There’s one slight hitch in the plan

In 1998 the local council placed an access  restriction on the to-be-purchased property.   Pedestrians and vehicles cannot access the house from …     …the public highway.   There is no other obvious route to the house.   The current resident ignores this restriction.    How can my friends get from the roadway to the house without breaking the law?   Without:

• using a Vehicle:   A device or structure for transporting persons or things; a conveyance?
• being a Pedestrian: A person traveling on foot; a walker?
• accessing   the property from the  Road?

On a sunny Saturday morning the front door is wide open, birdsong, breeze and buzzy-things float in and out. I hear footsteps on the gravel drive, the garden gate open and close then a cautious voice calls out:

knock knock

At the door a petite, dapper, elderly anglo-saxon lady and a tall stout lady of colour are soaking up the ambience of my garden. The elderly lady, Barbara, smiles and announces

I didn’t know this was here, its lovely, its a hidden garden

I smile and lean against the door frame, considering the ladies semi-formal dress and wondering who they are and why they are here

Barbara: don’t you find that people have very little faith these days?
Wendy: I have faith

Barbara reaches into her big, old-person’s handbag and pulls out a copy of Watchtower. Ah, Jehovah’s witnesses spreading the word and recruiting. The aptly named Gloria stands behind Barbara, her substantial, boxer-like, stature makes her visible both above and around Barbara. Barbara nervously explains how informative and useful the ‘Awake’ pamphlet, within watchtower, is. It has information about prescription drug addicition and about woolly mammoths. She flicks through the pamphet showing me the pictures while trying not to drop the pamphlet or her handbag. I smile.

Barbara: would you like one?
Wendy: I have faith, but if you want to give me one of those I will look at it

Barbara looks surprised, hands me the Watchtower, glances around my garden

Barbara: it’s very nice here
Wendy: yes, especially the nieghbours, the lady who lives in that house was born in it, when she got married her husband moved into the house with her and they both looked after her elderly parents. Isn’t that awesome?! I love it here.
Barbara: can we come back and call again?
Wendy: yeah, sure, have a nice day…

An action packed weekend in the Wendy House garden:

• a fuzzy-buzzy bee feeds on a rotund allium
• a Peacock butterfly feeds on another allium
• the garden robin feeds on insects attracted by my recent digging
• a harlequin spectabilis ladybird takes a break from aphid eating on one of the acers  
• Matrix snoozes under another acer
• A large hornet (2 inches) found its way into my bedroom.   I didn’t know it was a hornet.   They look scarey.     I panicked, squeaked, opened the bedroom windows,   wrapped myself in a curtain and wafted the corner of the curtain at the hornet until it  took the hint and  left via the window.  

Game-addict clinic opening in Amsterdam
Dueling piano bar opening in downtown Boise
Archived Items not opening in Microsoft Outlook 2003
croci opening in my garden

My new pruning shears may not be electrically powered tools but in my hot little holiday  hands they can power through  a Viburnum Tinus at dusk before the sun fully sets.  

Invite me to all your pruning parties…

clip clip clippy!

Sneak preview videow   (pixellated  for privacy reasons  by google earth*) that demonstrates weekend chit-cat about a recently observed pigeon at a  House family  household ….     …can you bear the excitement?

” photograph of Google earth camera in operation on Schrocktthehouse

You can take the Wendy out of Chipping Sodbury…  

…but…

When the roads are closed for the Sodbury Mop

I’ll be back

One of a host of Jasmine plants that fill the Wendy Home  with a wonderful aroma.      No chemical air-freshener arrives with throw-away packaging,  immitates floral scents and requires  refills.     Lets hope that no guests have real pollen allergies….