wendy house

Miss interpretting and spelling written words is one of my innate talents. Context, together with how the word sounds in my head normally helps me get things right

Sometimes I use the wrong context. Here in the fabulous Jackson’s I was thinking about ‘Austerity’ when I read this sign. I read Boys School Uniform Debt and assumed it was some form of financing offer to help parents avoid getting into dept when buying school uniforms for their boys.

It sounded plausible to me….

“Truth is Beauty” cites the advertising slogan on the cosmedicine website.

Do they mean 1 to 1 equivance?  – Truth quite literally is beauty , nothing else is beauty, only truth.

Or are they talking about Truth being a subset of Beauty? – all that is true is beautiful and some other things are beautiful too.

Probably the latter, nonetheless I became more than a bit confused by the company slogan and name. Can you become more truthful through liberal application of cosmedicine. Is cosmedicine, medicine, with a cosmetic effect. Is this cosmetic effect what is needed to obtain beauty, and therefore (possibly) truth?

Why isn’t the home office puchasing this in bulk and applying it to all convicted fraudsters?  It’s probably cheaper than housing them in the penal system.

Israel…   …Afghanistan…          …Vietnam…

baffled

I was baffled

by the organisation

the organisation of the books, by country, in the Reading central library

there is some organisation principle in place

can you guess the logic behind the juxtapositions?

wendy: have you been watching the Ashes?

German: I’m waiting for them to start, at the moment they’re still playing tests

brrrrrrriiiiiiiinnng  brrrrrrriiiiiiiinnng

wendy house:   Hello!

BT operative (BT-OH!):   Hello,   is Mr or Mrs House available

wendy house: my parents don’t live here

BT-OH!: Do you pay the bills?

wendy: Are you selling me something?

BT-OH: this phone number is a BT phone number and we have a special offer on Broadband

Phone sales people often want to talk to my mother, dad or to-be-arranged-husband.   It will be sad when my reply is ‘my parents are dead’ until then it’s mildly comical.

Egyptian guide: We will go to Bomay’s pillau

Clearly I was misunderstanding what my Egyptian guide was telling me,   though visiting Bombay’s pillau in Alexandria did sound rather facinating.   The sign at the Sarapeiona temple we visited cleared-up the mystery.   The Sarapeona temple was built by Hadrian in the second century,   the same Hadrian that walled-out the Scotttish from England.   Unfortunately those darned Christians destroyed this non-christian the temple in the 4th century….     the pillar remained standing

Pompey’s pillar

No rice.   No connection to the Indian city.

Ceasars son-in-law, Pompey,  had a history of disputes with Ceasar. Pompey travelled to Alexandria hoping to find refuge with the Egyptians. Upon arrival  Pompey was beheaded by Ptolemy XIII  as un unsolicited favour to Ceasar.   Ceasar didn’t approve.   Subsequent tourists looking for Pompey’s tomb mistakenly named the pillar in the Sarapeiona temple after him. The name remained with the pillar.

Egyptian guide (EG):   Saladin did one terrible thing which we cannot forget.   He masa creed 400 dinner guests

Wendy:   Killed 400 dinner guests?

EG:   yes

Wendy: I think you mean massacred not masa creed

EG:   the Americans say Masa creed

I  decided not to contradict her assertion of  how Americans pronounce ‘massacred’.  My role was only to ask questions, follow instructions  and make impressed noises.   For example,   she was the  director of where and when I could take photographs insisting that her prescribed locations were best.    She argued with me  if I chose not to  comply with her suggestions.    She told me to hurry up and move on when I decided to take photographs outside of her prescribed opportunities.

Luckily I’ve escaped from her clutches  to my friends home. My friend  knows  how to

• ‘not know’
• acknowledge her own linguistic and meaningful creativity
• allow her guests to make thier own judgements (about where to take photographs)

wendy  @  ho mail

According to CNET news   Microsoft will release something called ‘forefront endpoint protection’.   I suspect this will protect your pumpkins from frost damage on their extremities.

Hands keep spontaneously debagging

Should I  lend these hands to other bags?

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A phrase uttered by a radio presenter to describe the new use of an ex magic shop, a place for   ‘Laptop Dancing’ .  

Do I hear you ask:

Is this a place where sequin and spandex covered laptop computers  bounce around in close proximity with young upcoming professional people on underfloor-lit dancefloors to a funky disco beat?

Here’s a couple of young professionals practicing their laptop dancing :

One of their commenters sums up this new cultural phenomena  rather well using new-english:

“wahey!!! this is gonna be huuuuge in the future!! Just get out ya fackin’ laptop beast out sum choonz, whack it on ya shoulder and jus fackin dance!!! awoooooooooogaaaaaa!!!!!!!”

Words of wisdom from  an almost stranger*.  in this case Windows Network Diagnostics:

When planning your party make sure you employ communicative DNS servers to hand-out the canopes and if your host is being a bit remote,   just ping him a bit and he’ll deliver cuddles all round.

*  past tips provided by Alan the hairdresser.   Lucia the hairdresser, an anonymous  manicurist, a Jackson’s sales assistant, a bus stop philanthropist, a mini salesman, a neighbour  and Reading Police

stranger on the street:   have you got the time?

This is not a question I was asked in the US.   This question has been put to me on several occasions when walking from bus stops to appointments in the UK.

The question  always makes me think twice before replying.   Am I being asked for the current time or does the asker suspect that I may be a professional  street walker?

A Reading friend of London extraction recently took  a vacation in the wild west of  the English Riveria.   She was pleased to discover that all modern conveniences are available in Paignton.    No longer do people on the English Riviera  have to share their teeth with ancesters, neighbours, or complete strangers.    

No more waiting for a person to finnish using their teeth before you can enjoy a crunchy-nut peanut butter sandwich.  You can hear my friends excitement:

New Dentures??!!  - as oppose to??!! Used dentures, one careful lady owner??!!   Priceless!

they are just pretending,   and they have allotments too,   so they can’t be real beggars because they can grow their own food and stuff