scribbles tagged ‘phonological similarity’

you can do it noisely

Friday, April 18th, 2014 | tags:  |

Aloud sounds like Allowed

Permission to be noisey can be such good fun!


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tones convey gender and origins

Wednesday, February 26th, 2014 | tags:  |

Andrea (English girl’s name) does not sound like Andrea (Italian boy’s name)


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woking

Monday, January 27th, 2014 | tags: ,  |

I pronounce ‘Were’  like the ‘ur’ in ‘blur’  with an ‘w’ added to the front = wur

I pronounce ‘Where’ like ‘air’ with a ‘w’ on the front = wair

7pm one evening, at the end of a long day an Italian colleague said “I’m working with Michele“. Myself and another English person simultaneously reacted with “Working?!”, shocked that anyone would be able to continue working.

Italian: “Yes, working to the Hotel”

We understood. “Oh, Walking

The Italian encouraged us to say ‘walking’ a few more times, then imitated us. His British accent for this one word became impeccable.

“How did you do that?”

“It sounds like that Chinese pan, the Wok, I say Woking

And indeed that’s what he said, it was easy to understand and sounded awfully posh.


2 bits of fabulous banter »

pay for that code!

Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013 | tags: ,  |

Build sounds like Billed


2 bits of fabulous banter »

it’s a gift

Sunday, July 7th, 2013 | tags: ,  |

While I was busy extolling the unpredictable behaviour of Twitter, this year’s intern-

 sometimes you sound just like my mother

Probably not a reference to mother’s wisdom. But we were able to agree that I have an amazing ability to

 empathise with non-technical people while simultaneously predicting where Microsoft have hidden valuable features


2 bits of fabulous banter »

anorak sick

Friday, August 3rd, 2012 | tags: , , ,  |

Removing facebook adverts for weightlossI keep

  • telling facebook that I don’t need to diet, I’m not fat.
  • asking the adverts to stop harrassing me.

For years I’ve been asking, but Facebook ignores me.  Facebook is targeting advertising and I have set my gender to female so I must be in need of getting thinner because no type of thin is going to be thin-enough for an industry that feeds on the image of women as childlike (small and hairless) sexual objects.

Pfffft

It’s a good job I’m stubborn and opinionated otherwise I’d just cry and diet myself into an early grave because happiness cannot be found in a diet and the pressure to diet wont stop because I get thinner.


7 bits of fabulous banter »

Train car cough any of children

Thursday, January 5th, 2012 | tags: , , ,  |

are you the princess?” the 67 year old lady asks the 7 year old girl, adding  “I’m a dinosaur

“no you’re not” even though the girl is already displaying advanced gender conformity, she hasn’t yet refined her agism prejudices…  …she can still spot the difference between dinosaurs and old ladies

No, not really, but it’s what old people call themselves”  The child makes an accurate observation about aging  “when I grow up my hair wont be blonde anymore” The old bint espouses the popular psuedo-feminist position of  ‘choice freedom’ within the boundaries of legitimate girly behaviours “you can dye your hair any colour that you want”. The mother sighs and adds “she’s a very girlie girl, she’ll only wear dresses and loves pink and purple

I press my face against the train window watching the beautiful English, Dorset, countryside fly-by – but I can’t escape the conversations of popularist female conformity…

Train ride to St Ives


3 bits of fabulous banter »

lots

Monday, October 17th, 2011 | tags:  |

Extensive sounds live Expensive

Example from a BBC news report:

“Our staff treated a five-year-old boy in cardiac arrest but despite extensive efforts they were unable to resuscitate him”


2 bits of fabulous banter »

how to make a grown man blush

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010 | tags: , , ,  |

wendy: Norfolk and Norwich

The Canadian’s face instantly flushed red as he smiled, then catuiously asked

Did you just say no fücking nor witch?


2 bits of fabulous banter »

van show

Saturday, December 12th, 2009 | tags: , ,  |

Vin ChaudWhen  a large glass of  warm red wine laced with honey  steams in my hand as I sit infront of a flickering open fire listening to the gentle dreaming of my kitties

When I can pay the heating bills and buy food -

Winter is wonderful


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null coward

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 | tags:  |

Noel sounds like null


6 bits of fabulous banter »

dangerous misunderstanding

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 | tags: , ,  |

Bloodshed pronounced in a received accent sounds like Bristolian pronunciation of Budget

there will be budget so wear a flack jacket


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c’ohm pair

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 | tags: , , , ,  |

When thinking in a Bristol accent with a hint of NW US phrasing and twang:

compare sounds like cohm pair

leading to typing mistakes, more than once, HahahahHAhaHAHAHahahahaha (the sound of manic laughing fading into the distance)


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rustic pane

Wednesday, November 12th, 2008 | tags: , ,  |

stuffed fox and rustic breaddusty dry cold  rigid fox deftly holding a long-dead bird in yellowed teeth.

Rustic pane


3 bits of fabulous banter »

wonkey sounds like wrong key

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008 | tags: , , , ,  |

IT support:   hello,   this is [name] in Salt Lake city   (US Accent)

Wendy: Oh!   I hope its sunny in Salt Lake city

IT Support:   it’s 4am in the morning

Wendy:   Ah,   gosh,   well,   not sunny then,   I’ve got this problem…

[problem fixing conversation and Wendy starts falling asleep then wakes up when]

IT  Support:   Wonkey,   I’m even talking British now,   wonkey


4 bits of fabulous banter »

autumn sounds like awesome

Saturday, September 27th, 2008 | tags:  |

Autumn sounds like awesome when pronounced with an US accent.   Recently  one US friend commented upon returning to the UK:

It’s good to be back.   It’s awesome


4 bits of fabulous banter »

Roofless sounds like ruthless

Thursday, September 25th, 2008 | tags: , , ,  |

canvas covering new timbersThe Wendy House kitchen is currently camping under  canvas in the September rain,   ruthless.

Much to my surprise the self-mutilating builders turned-up.   I wasn’t expecting them  because there  have been more false starts than a particularly rusty old  Fiat Panda on a frosty morning.


5 bits of fabulous banter »

executive manager

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 | tags:  |

can lead to fatal misunderstandings if pronounced:

execute if manager


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insects

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007 | tags:  |

I heard “what do you prefer,   the incest or the songs” (NPR weekend edition)

Phonological similarity:  

insects sounds like incest


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desiccated crow

Thursday, August 10th, 2006 | tags:  |

email conversation  today,   what can you take onto a plane with you?:

colleague 1:   aren’t you even permitted to take on magazines, newspapers, books/ small books,   pocket books,   folded  newspapers or magazines in pockets?    

colleague 2:   what I heard is that you can take stuff on board with you, you’re just not allowed to take any liquid in your carrion….

Must stop giggling and do some work….


1 wonderful musing »

phonological similarity VII: Bass

Saturday, February 4th, 2006 | tags: , ,  |

Bass sounds like Becks

Wendy:   “I ordered Bass,   this isn’t Bass

Server: “Yes it is Bass”   (Becks?)

Wendy: “This is not Bass” (Wow,   American servers ARGUE with their customers!!!!!) “Bass is amber,   this is yellow

LaCroix: “That is not Bass,   this is Bass” (raises her pint of Bass)

Server takes the pint, returns with a Bass and apologises.   Phew phonological beer-lager disaster avoided.


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Phonological Similarity VI: Tenerife

Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 | tags:  |

Tenerife sounds like Tel-Aviv

This can provide exciting, unexpected, vacation opportunities.   Excerpt from the Times

Michael Moore and Diane Bell from West Yorkshire, booked a holiday to Tenerife but ended up in Tel Aviv. They went to Thailand but did not like it and went to a local travel agent, who misheard them. “I’d never seen Tel Aviv spelt before,” Ms Bell said. “I thought it was what people in Thailand called Tenerife.””

W Miss Heard


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Phonological Similarity V: Confusion

Thursday, December 15th, 2005 | tags: ,  |

Confusion sounds like Confucian

 

This can produce a phonologically based spelling challenge.   No prizes for guessing who’s recently made that Malapropism.

W Most-Often-Miss-Pelt


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Phonological Similarity IV: Spanish

Saturday, December 3rd, 2005 | tags:  |

This Diner conversation dumbfounded me:

Wendy: “I thought I’d ordered a SPANISH omelette

Waitress: “I thought you ordered a SWISS CHEESE AND BACON   omelette

‘Spanish’ sounds like ‘Swiss cheese and bacon’?

I couldn’t hear the similarty.   Later I engaged the waitress in small-talk.    She found my speech very difficult to hear even when I used my best Queen’s English and  diction.   No mumbling.   It reminded me of when I first arrived in the US.    Just listening to people talk had been  suprisingly, physically, tiring.     I gave her a big tip for trying so hard to overcome the difficulties of my poor spoken ‘American’.

W Miss-Understood


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Phonological similarity meets typed Malaproprism

Thursday, November 17th, 2005 | tags: , , ,  |

I typed

Mail instead of Main

within an email

to a male

 

I chuckled to myself.    This possibly isn’t amusing for you unless you are  actually  on Planet-Wendy* with me.      No map available to Planet-Wendy.

”cars ‘eee  ain’ begit’n maw carn-tex’    

Regional accent outbreak.   It means ‘context UNPUBLISHABLE’.

*photograph of Planet-Wendy  painting** attached.

** the painting*** actually IS hung on the wall in my garage.  

***I’m open to painting  purchase offers,   make me a bid…   ….I promise not to cry…  

Wendy still-nesting-footnotes


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phonological similarity III: 7

Thursday, November 10th, 2005 | tags:  |

When pronounced with my regional accent 7 sounds  like:

SE’vUUUUURRRRRRRn

The  River Severn  is Britains longest river and local to my formative youth.   It has the 2nd highest tidal rise and fall in the world and helps constrain splushy fraternization between the English and  Welsh.     The name Severn  is published all-over-the-house,   in folklore stories, on road signs,   businesses,   bridges  “anna loik‘   (regional pronunciation).   The once local ‘Severn Trent’ water authority  was purchased by an US company during the Thatcherite sell-offs of British publicly owned resources.    It now  has research sites on the Columbia River in Tri-Cities, WA.

When pronounced with my regional accent Severn sounds like:

SE’vUUUUURRRRRRRn

This marvellous river is responsible for many numerical spelling errors that I loyally persist to this day.    

7 = Severn

On the positive side:

  • None of my Cheques have bounced…       ….yet.      
  • To help local USians understand me I can ‘awmows tawk praahpaaaah’        

Wendy Spelling-pronunciation-atrocity-perpetrator


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‘OneCare’ sounds like?

Friday, September 9th, 2005 | tags: , ,  |
A well known UK swear word if pronounced with an UK English accent.  
Try it and see.
 
Microsoft has  released a Beta product called ‘OneCare‘ should they change the name or accept the inevitable sniggering as positive ‘word of mouth’ publicity?
 
http://www.microsoft.com/windows/onecare/default.mspx
 
Wendy not-a-’one-care’


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Phonological similarity

Wednesday, August 17th, 2005 | tags: ,  |

In an English accent,   spoken to a US person…  

‘fries’ sounds like ‘rice’

  • whenever I order Fries’ in the works canteen,   the server moves to add some  ‘rice’ to my plate.   Even putting the word ‘french’ in front of ‘fries’ fails to solve this problem.   I’m not sure what to do.   Normally  I say ‘No‘ repeat the word ‘fries‘ while pointing to the deep-fryer.

‘Hiya’ sounds like ‘How are you?’

  • Which apparently is the phrase that lead to the truncated greeting that I use.    I use  ‘Hiya’ as a verbal greeting with friends and at work.    A persistent personal habit picked up in Northern England in the 1980′s.  
  • Using it can be dangerous.  
  • In England people reply with a chirpy smile and another ‘hiya’.    My US acquaintences  generally reply by telling me how they are…    often I’m unrepared for the earnest content and detail.  Maybe I should start saying ‘Yo’?
  • The greeting is popular for internet mediated communication,   though not quite as popular as the even further truncated ‘hi’

Wendy truncate-and-concatenate-are-wonderful-words


1 wonderful musing »