scribbles tagged ‘proposal’

view from the floor of commuter carriage D

Friday, October 26th, 2012 | tags: , , , ,  |

commutersThe seats next to us are full of men in suits, young men and old men. Men with eyes locked on their kindles. From our perch on the carriage floor we can see body-fat overflowing their shirt collars while they focus on their devices.

Maybe they are doing something very valuable. They work for Oxfam, Cancer Research, the NHS or something where the luxury of a seat on an unfeasibly busy First Great Western (FGW) train service from London Paddington is a just reward.

Alas, I can’t convince myself that all the seated people are contributing to something socially valuable.

Elbowing and shoving to get seats is what happens at commuter time. I normally stand back and board the train last or let the flow carry me forward.  Unsuprisingly, I rarely get a seat. On this tiring day I had chosen to sit. Chosen the carriage isle floor. I used the handle on the side of a seat to gently lower myself. The man in the behandled seat ‘tutted’ without turning his head towards me. A coincidence?

The beautiful boy with the ginger beard watched me, then followed my lead. I wonder what he was thinking as he scrutinised the seated ‘people-who-never-look-at-those-around-them’.  He raised my spirits because he had the courage to see the people around him, chose to steps away from conformity, and harassed noone to get a place on the carriage floor.

I don’t think he’s a banker. I considered proposing.


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short termism

Tuesday, February 14th, 2012 | tags: , , , , ,  |

A sharply frosty new year’s morning. Glowing from a sociable celebration in my local pub, stumbling homeward bound along Love Lane with my first, second and third boyfriend. One boy, a ringer for James Dean:

James Dean Ringer (JDR): will you marry me?

17 yr wendy: Oh! Yes! after I’ve finished my A levels and got my degree

JDR: Why? Why can’t we get married this summer?

wendy: marriage is for life – we’ve got a lifetime to get married. Waiting 4 years is nothing as part of a whole life time. We’ll be able to save up for a home together and I’ll be able to get a job to help out financially

JDR: If you don’t want to marry me this summer, then it’s over

wendy: Huh? Are you serious? I’ll love you whether we’re married or not. I’m not going to marry you as a way to stop you from leaving! If you’re going to leave, you’ll leave, if you want to stay, you’ll stay

I never saw him again. It broke my heart because I didn’t understand how he could propose a lifetime together one moment then leave in the next. Most baffling. In the following years he sent valentines cards from four different continents. I remember him fondly


4 bits of fabulous banter »

cistern valve spigots

Thursday, April 7th, 2011 | tags: , , , , , , , ,  |

The Wendy House toilet has a high wall-mounted cistern. Fabulous water pressure flushes the toilet with a gravity induced whoooooosh.

Piping to toilet cisternBut the cistern has always filled slowly with a noisy trickle of water. The whole arrangement is reminiscent of Victorian school washrooms. While waiting 15 minutes for the cistern to fill is not a problem when I am alone, for guests  it introduces a timing problem at peak use times.

With an imminent Wendy House party, home improvements are on the menu. Replacing the limescale clogged cistern valve. Yay. No problem. Or so I thought. A quick trip to the DIY shop where the sales assistant didn’t even know what a valve that controls the waterflow into the tank above the toilet was. Sigh. I picked the valve that looked most like the one already installed and toddled off home. So far so good. I switched off the water supply to the house then climbed on a tall bar stool to reach the cistern, remove the lid and start trying to unscrew the current valve.

Things started going wrong. A bit of the old valve broke off in my hand. A close inspection of the instructions for the new valve revealed that despite diagrams I could now work out what this meant

fit ballvalve using backnut(s) provided and ensure that the spigot(s) are used to centralise the tail of the hose

The backnut, spigots, tail nor hose were labelled in any of the 4 diagrams. Quickly I resoted to visual matching, make the new one look like the old one currently looks (without the limescale or broken bit). Then I realised that I would probably have to take part of the wall away to access the pipes.

The doorbell rang

Hello I’m Rob White and I’m canvassing for the Green party in May’s election. Can I ask you if you know whether you are going to vote in the election

yes

I can ask you, you know if you’re going to vote, or you are going to vote?

errr… ..um, I am going to vote

Are you going to vote for the Green party?

Valve in hand, I look at the two young perky faced boys on my doorstep

Have either of you ever changed a cistern valve?

Oh no, that’s very complicated, I’d call a plumber, you’re a brave person

They start backing away slowly as if I’m holding a loaded weapon. I’ve replaced cistern valves before. Normally its a couple of minutes, an easy job. Their lack of willingness and skill is a tad disappointing. I reassure them about my vote and non-violent intentions then call Kevin.

Wonderful Kevin sorts out my cistern with Canadian calm

Cistern refill time has sucessfully been upgraded from a 15 minute trickle to a 30 second flow. Result! Almost grounds for a proposal.


3 bits of fabulous banter »

kebab and proposal

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 | tags: ,  |

Kebab Shop Man (KSM):   are you married,   do you have a boyfriend?

Wendy:   No,   never married,   no boyfriend, its a long story…

KSM: I’m not married.   My family are all in Pakistan

Wendy:   You have friends here in Reading?

KSM:   these are my only friends (gestures to the 2 other staff members in the Kebab shop).   I want to get married.   I want an older woman (Looks directly at me)

Wendy:   good luck


3 bits of fabulous banter »

spanking good support

Saturday, July 22nd, 2006 | tags: , ,  |

wendy:  I did this then that then this to the computer and it just farted at me.support:   pinch your not insubstantial  nose between your thumb and forefinger then try then this and that..

Loop the conversation  theme above for over an hour through 8 loops and  different computer produced offences, then

 computer error message:     “go away,   I’m full of cow-pats  and will explode to sprinkle them all over you and your not insubstantial  nose”

support:   I can’t  solve  this over the phone. I’ll send someone round to spank your computer tomorrow

Hah!    I normally have to spank my own computers around here.   Though whipping them with power-cables only fixes my mood.

Another support fellow  glanced at the quagmire of equipment surrounding me ‘do you work  in hardware production?’  prompting a complete break-down in Wendy-composure.      I fell over;    lay laughing in a matted  muddle of cables ‘yes,   I think I do‘ this handsome lad helped me off the floor and began to  teach me a thing or two.   Gosh!   My profuse gratitude almost exclaimed a  proposal.    


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would-should dilemma

Wednesday, March 8th, 2006 | tags: ,  |

Masquerading under  the technically-fancy name: Cognitive Dissonance.  This happened when replying to a work-meeting invite where  I

  • would go because it will be  easy to add value and  have work-related fun.  
  • should not go because  it will delay completing stuff I need done by YESTERDAY!    

e-mail exchange:

Wendy:   I may be able to make this,  but its unlikely, better to find a replacement for me.   (too difficult to just say  “I can’t be there“)

Colleague:   Wendy,   there clearly is NO replacement for you    :-)

Despite my better judgement and his cute dimples  I didn’t propose to this guy.   Last time I checked he was married.   But then US folks have such a quick marriage dissolution time (90 days?) it’s difficult to track.    


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charged <----> drained

Monday, February 20th, 2006 | tags: , , ,  |

In less than 15 mins. LooSea’s battery spontaneously drained while I stopped in the fridge.  

Two wonderful Hispanic men rescued me.

They were fortunate enough to have parked next to LooSea. Their English was better than my Spanish.   Extremely limited.   I pointed at my jump leads, opened the bonnet, and asked if they could help me.   They giggled a bit. Pointed at their car and said “Avis” as I passed them the other end of the leads.  

Is LooSea telling me something? will she start for me tomorrow?  I’m feeling battery-power-challenged at the moment.  

LooSea

This generous behaviour warranted a proposal.   I didn’t propose because  I haven’t yet purchased a ring to demonstrate my sincerity and commitment to proposees.


1 wonderful musing »

Proposal #4: Squishy

Friday, February 17th, 2006 | tags: ,  |

A Seattle based Londoner sent a squishy  email to work colleages:

Londoner “…I popped *the* question to which she said yes...”

Wendy: “Is she pregnant or what?   ;-)”

Londoner: “This slate is clean!”

Wendy: “A get-your-greencard-quick plan?”

Londoner: :-)

 

Other proposals in this series:

#1:   Product Support

#2:   Work Colleague

#3:   Jump leads

 


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Proposal #3: Jump Leads

Tuesday, February 14th, 2006 | tags: , ,  |

Wendy:   “How long are your jump leads?”

Guy:   “this long

Whips  them out to demonstrate. Wendy blushes then smiles.   Easily over 10ft of lead.   More than enough to  reach LooSea.

Wendy:   “Will you marry me?

Bouncing and clapping hands with eyes clearly fixed on the jump leads.   Nearly slips on the wet-grass.

Guy: “I don’t think my wife would approve

eyes focused on his jump leads with  no actual jumping.

The rest of the conversation is unpublishable.  

My proposal wasn’t accepted.  

Sigh

Wendy persistently-impulsive


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2nd marriage proposal quashed

Tuesday, February 7th, 2006 | tags: ,  |

Before it got out of the bag.

Potential fiancee     the loss adjusters who were due to appraise the damage to my car are running an hour late so we’ll have to reschedule

Wendy   “Have you got time now?   Can we do this over the phone?”

Potential fiancee yes sure” (I do sooo love the sound of ‘YES’! He  puts me on speaker phone)

Wendy:   “…(unpublishable talk about my job)…”

Potential fiancee “..(Rabid typing and witty comments.   Keeps his loss adjuster waiting 15mins to wrap-up call with me)…” Later  that morning I send promised documents to potential fiancee who  replies telling me  what you already know,   that I  ROCK! and providing lots of little juicy promises to make my work life easier.

I could have married him on the spot.  

Company harrassment policy made me think twice about announcing the offer.   I’ll keep it on hold until I’ve worked out if he’s a player

Wendy Easily-pleased


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