The natural harbour at Falmouth is one of the cheapest places to store large, unused, container ships.
We counted 7 of these large automotive carrier ships stored in the tiny, otherwise picturesque, Falmouth harbour. The ships are waiting for the automotive industry to either come out of recession or decide to send them to the scrap yard.
My pink leapordprint mini-dress was a tad anachronistic in the quaint leafy streets of Burford. Families of pleasant, conservately dressed people wandered in an out of stores selling expensive clothes, kitchenware, art and antiques.
My attraction to antique stores was aligned with the other people, crowds, that had accepted the pilgramage to Burford.
I prayed in the antique fair, strolled around the churchard then settled in the tea rooms. On the journey I caught the sunshine and smiles.
Wendy: t-mobile’s colours are almost the same as HMV’s – pink and black
t-mobile assistant: Magenta
Wendy: Oh (signifying recognition that the assistant’s correction was blunt), I’m sorry, is Magenta a technical term for pink?
t-mobile assistant: There’s been an SQL error entering your details, I don’t know what SQL is but its not your fault.
Wendy: Sequal Server? Maybe it needs a t-mobile technical specification, like magenta instead of pink?
I’m not so environmentally friendly since I paired up with Thomas. On the otherhand, I’m not using a jet to get around. With the exception of a classic cathode ray tube, few things are actually back and white.
The Monochrome set sang jet set junta
In a rare, mercifully quick, shopping moment I replaced 3 pairs of well-worn, too-small, skinny, hipster blue jeans with new jeans that:
Way too much excitement for one day, I must lie down and breath slowly lest I become overwhelmed by it all. You all take care, don’t over exert yourselves, its tough out there and a well stitched pair of jeans can help keep things under control.
Please indulge in a brief, chirpy, round of applause to welcome Thomas with the Diesel tank engine to the Wendy House team. He growls in the morning but purrs after he’s had a little run. Just like my first Diesel engine car.
In his first few days Thomas has already become the star of the Wendy House travelling show:
Person in car park (PICP): Have you bought a car then?
Wendy: Yes
PICP: It’s not the Mini?! (raises pitch towards end of sentence)
Wendy: It’s the mini
PICP: OH, such a lovely colour
In some circumstances computer systems can deliberately stop people from making ‘Errors’. This is an example of a system preventing the people that use it from making ‘errors’ by trying to do rather useful things:
Wendy: can I move the car insurance start date back by one week?
Car Insurance Agent (CIA): No
Wendy: Oh (signifying complete suprise at this rude treatment of a potential non-customer)
CIA: you will have to cancel the whole policy and then open a completely new one with a different start date
Wendy: Computer system makes you do that? It wont let you just change start dates?
CIA: Yes
It took us 30 minutes to cancel, then re-apply for the same car insurance with a different start date. 2 sets of documents are in the post.
Wendy: Are you from Hull?
CIA: Leeds, its quite near to Hull
Good weather in Leeds.
Words of wisdom from an almost stranger*. In this case a Mini dealership sales person of a Canadian persuasion gave me this tip:
If you enjoy driving, and want a Diesel, I wouldn’t recommend the Mini One Diesel. The Mini Cooper Diesel is much more fun, its in a completely different class.
I didn’t accept this tip on face value, I test drove a Mini One Diesel. Not fun. I did enjoy driving the Mini Cooper Diesel, though I found all the superflous fancy stuff, such as internal lighting schemes more embarressing than stylish.
* past tips provided by Alan the hairdresser. Lucia the hairdresser, an anonymous manicurist, a Jackson’s sales assistant, a bus stop philanthropist and Reading Police
Stopping at the AA approved dealership with the low mileage Mini One D for sale:
Sales: there’s virtually no difference between the old and new model Mini D’s, except the styling and I prefer the styling in the old model.
Wendy: they have different Engines, the old one is a Toyota Yaris, I don’t know what the new one is. A different engine seems like a significant difference.
Sales: Coopper Diesel has a Peugeot engine
Wendy: My last car in the UK was a 5yr old Peugeot 309 1.9 Diesel in 1992, an awesome Engine, the car took me for 46,ooo miles in 1 yr with nothing other than standard wear and tear.
Sales: [silence]
Later, while driving the Mini
Wendy: that is a VERY clunky gearbox,
Sales: is it?
Wendy: No I was lying to get the price down, have you actually drivien this car? its clearly clunky
Later, on the forecourt after no beverage has been offered and no-one has asked to take my name, phone number, other contact details or manage the conversation:
Wendy: what sort of discount would you give me for having no car to trade-in part exchange?
Sales: none
Wendy: what sort of discount would you give me if I could arrange a cash purchase
Sales: none
Wendy: do you actually want to sell this car, I know its been on your books for at least 3 weeks
Sales: we can’t get enough good quality second hand cars, with the recession the second hand business is good
Wendy: I’ll look at the other Mini’s on my list and talk to the dealers and might get back to you if this one is still a possibility
One of a host of Jasmine plants that fill the Wendy Home with a wonderful aroma. No chemical air-freshener arrives with throw-away packaging, immitates floral scents and requires refills. Lets hope that no guests have real pollen allergies….
This is a summary page from a UK Equifax credit report on me. Accurate and incomplete.
Equifax credit assessment covers 6 years in the UK, US excluded . Having been resident in the UK for just over one year means that I don’t have a visible credit history for 6 years.
I was unpleasantly suprised that neither my recent UK Morgage nor credit card payment history were evident in the report.
Getting an English home in order involves all sorts of equipment including a carbon monoxide alarm and a radiator inhibitor.
My radiators are now fully inhibited. You’ll be glad to know that there is no more bleeding necessary, or is that necessary bleeding?
A senior chap wearing a flourescent yellow woolly cap and fleece is leaving the DIY store where I am going to purchase a carbon monoxide warning device. Unlike his clothes, the senior fellow’s fascial muscles are so relaxed he looks sad. As he turns onto the Thames towpath he catches my eye, sees my hat, and his face rushes upwards as he sings out
Wondeful hat!
my cyberdog (circa 2004) hat and I reply in kind
Yours too!
Words of wisdom from a specialist*. This tip is about industrial strength white cotton bedding and is bought to you courtesy of the outstanding sales staff in Frere Jacksons Linens and haberdashery department:
Iron them while they are damp because its impossible to get the creases out once they’re dry.
I don’t plan to follow this tip because Ironing is a theoretical concept I’ve not yet fully grasped.
can all be fitted in school uniform at Reading’s BHS. As their sign says they ‘fit the Nation’. If the picture is anything to go by, they fit the nation of boys… I wonder why girls were invisible in their window display, I looked for a partnering sign but none could be found…
Luckily their online advertisement includes girls in the nation together with boys, ethnicity and unisex, I wonder why they opted out of this approach for their window displays.
As ever, Jackson is ahead of the game with its fabulous schoolwear department.
This weekend Kevin popped around with his supped-up white van and extensive De-Walt toolkit. Kevin replaced the stop cock under the kitchen sink, replaced a couple of washers, showed me his toolkit and van customisations, offered me a half-price radiator, discussed replacing my kitchen, explained about the Canadian plummer training system, and told me about his courtcase against a tap manufacturer because their tap design is just so silly it breaks within 6 months and he’d installed 26 of them in a rich client’s house.
Kevins weekly visits are definitely one of life’s luxuries.
Jackson’s is the sort of store that sells stylish and practical items of a classic and often exclusive nature. I cannot sing Jackson’s praises enough. With winter settling in, cold nights in the Wendy House, this little bargain in the Jacksons christmas special decorated window calls out to me each time I pass by. A Candlewick bedjacket. How have the fluffballs and I managed without one to date? Jacksons also have some mens paisely print brushed cotton pyjamas…
…I really am at risk of shopping and bouncing and getting all over excited within a fun-packed 5 minute period…
A sign at the check-out counter of a childrens toy department makes it clear that only adults can purchase imitation fire-arms. At least children wont be able to get their hands on imitation firearms when they feel the need to use them for nefarious purposes… …naughty children.
I can also report that there was not a group of children outside the store asking people to purchase the imitation firearms on their behalf, they must be using more cunning organised methods to acquire them.
while waiting for a train
wendy: a medium sized mocha please
cashier: £2.45
Wendy Hands over the cash and waits
barista: medium Latte
Wendy: is that for me? I ordered a mocha, are you making a mocha next?
barista: I don’t have an order for a mocha
man in queue behind me: actually, you ordered a Latte
Wendy: checks receipt, it clearly states Mocha £2.45, shows receipt to man in the queue behind me to verify that I remembered correctly, checks cost of Latte ( £2.35)
cashier: she did order a mocha
train pulls into station
Wendy: I’ll take the Latte, keep the tip
Words of wisdom from a personal grooming specialist,
normally a hairdresser,
mainly Alan the outrageously expensive and handsome, former professional-brick-layer, young product-dispensing hairdresser, and
occassionally Lucia the scissor happy hairdresser.
This month Alan’s tip is bought to you courtesy of Lulu, a downtown Reading manicurist:
treat yourself, buy a TV for christmas
According to Vanish ‘the worst time to discover a stain is during the Ironing’
The ironing?
hmmmmm…. …my cunning plan to avoid stains and purchasing products (an iron and stain-removing chemicals) is to avoid ironing anything!
Hurrah for wrinkles!
Shop assistant (Sa): have you got a [name] card?
Wendy: No, what type of card is it?
Sa: Its like a Nectar card
Wendy: I don’t know what a nectar card is, what type of card is it?
Sa: its like a Tesco’s card
Wendy: I don’t know what a Tesco’s card is
Sa: raises eyebrows…
Wendy: is it a customer loyalty card?
Sa: yes…
Reasons why I love Reading 257: innovative mall decorations
This display made me smile and envy the people who constructed it for the obvious fun in both conceiving of the idea and implementing it. Very creative and entertaining. Excellent job. I wonder what their christmas decorations will be like? I will certainly be returning to the Broad Street mall…
I do enjoy a good list, closely followed by that wonderful feeling of achievement that follows ticking things off lists, or striking them out as ‘done’. I’ve found a list provided by the BBC, a fabulolus service, that lists shops and eateries in Reading that sell fairtrade goods. How fabulous is that?!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/berkshire/features/2004/03/fairtrade_shops.shtml
I will tick-tell-myself off if I use any other Reading shops and cafes. Naughty girl.
Hip Hip Hoorahs all round
Words of wisdom from my outrageously expensive and handsome, former professional-brick-layer, young product-dispensing hairdresser:
you want asymmetrical
As usual, I’ll be taking Alan’s tip very seriously and following up on this gem of wisdom
When the smell of car, smell of book, or smell of plastic just isn’t enough to please the peoplewho come within sniffing distance of your life.
When you long for the-day-after-a-night-in-the-pub smokey scent in your hair,
Try the new tobacco scented shower gel
you know it makes scents.
As you approach the Reading Cattle Market on Great Knollys Street you pass this wonderful mural of British Friesians. The covered cattle market is built of large red-bricks. Approximately 4 times the size of normal bricks. I’ve never seen such large bricks. The walls of the market are covered with advertisements for farming related artefacts, breeds of cattle and British cattle farmer values. 
Next to Great Knollys Street is Abattoirs Road. Adam Sowan’s history of Reading street names is named after Abbatoirs Road and calls out that Road as designation became popular in Victorian times, implying that Great Knollys Street predates Abbatoirs Road. 
Abbatoirs Road runs along the main Railway line that links London with Cardiff. The space under the arches of the grey-brick rail bridge are used by retailers. At the begining of Abbatoirs Road is a Jazz club in a railway arch.
After the Abbatoir the cattle move on to the Butchers shop then on to someone’s kitchen. All within less than a square mile.
Thimbleby and Shoreland, founded in 1901, maintain an auction house on the impressively named Great Knollys Street in downtown Reading. Thimbleby and Shoreland declare themselves:
the leading international specialist in the sale and valuation of horse-drawn carriages and related items, hosting the world famous Reading Carriage Sales
Recently they auctioned ‘THE DAVE SCARROTT COLLECTION OF TRAPS, LURES and SCARERS’ As you’ve wisely deduced, I couldn’t resist taking a peak at such a curious collection. The Auction brochure reports:
THE TRAP MAN
A motor mechanic by profession, Dave Scarrott started this unique collection quite by chance some twenty years ago when he was offered a couple of traps by a friend. From those small beginnings his passion grew to the extent of the present collection with interesting and rare traps and other artefacts having been sourced from all over the world.
The family have lived in the South Oxfordshire area from time immemorial and Dave will be the first to admit that his unusual hobby ‘is in the blood’ and he makes no secret of the fact that his great uncle, Jack Scarrott, was a notorious local poacher. It was a way of life in those early days with a large family to support and no social security! So notorious was he that the Kirtlington Estate saw fit to appoint him as their head game keeper and use his skills to their advantage, thereby killing two birds with one stone!
Dave and his collection have been a familiar sight at most local shows and it is undoubtedly one of the finest single collections in the country. The decision to sell has not been an easy one but has been forced on him due to illness. Unfortunately therefore, his days of travelling around the local shows are over, but rather than just ‘shut up shop’ Dave has reluctantly decided it is time to call it a day and move on
A Reading friend of London extraction recently took a vacation in the wild west of the English Riveria. She was pleased to discover that all modern conveniences are available in Paignton. No longer do people on the English Riviera have to share their teeth with ancesters, neighbours, or complete strangers.
No more waiting for a person to finnish using their teeth before you can enjoy a crunchy-nut peanut butter sandwich. You can hear my friends excitement:
New Dentures??!! - as oppose to??!! Used dentures, one careful lady owner??!! Priceless!
In John Lewis’ this chap demonstrates a shoulder bag, hat and khaki cargo pants, he has almost all the necessaries to be a real dude.
