Please turn on the taps with care as the pressure is quite high
high pressure: lots of complicated concepts in this message. Do children have a concept of ‘water pressure’ do they know what ‘high’ and ‘low’ water pressure are? By contrast a message like “Water comes out of the tap fast” is much more descriptive of the experience of turning the tap.
with care: what does it mean to turn on a tap with care? should I use a cloth incase the handle falls off? Do they mean that the tap is greased up and turns really fast? Because I know what high water pressure can do from experience and from physics classes I know that the best strategy is to ‘turn the tap slowly’. Maybe they mean that if you turn the tap on using normal torque the water will spray all over you and the bathroom floor. What fun!
To prompt the desired user behaviour the sign could become
Please turn the tap on slowly
With the possible explanation of the consequence. Though addition of this is an invitation to people who like splasshing, YAY, to turn the tap fast for fun. Hoorah! Can you guess what I did?
Due to temporary failure of satelite connections the BBC announced that they were sorry for the interuption in our reception of thier programming.
In my day the BBC used a collection of strangely engaging short media clips to entertain viewers during program interruption, called ‘interludes’, accompanied by classical music. These media clips included watching a potter potting, a spinner spinning (wool, not exercise) and the slightly more cute kitten-playing:
No traffic jams for cyclists on Brighton train station. Its systematic and cyclistically focussed, its Queuing! Hoorah, I do love a good queue. Unfortunately I’d come-over all pedestrian so wasn’t eligible for participation. Pooeeeey
A small sign above an arch in Chepstow castle warns visitors of the back curvature required for navigating the doorways originally designed for the short people of medieval times, in this particular case, the French.
On occasions I can be found behaving with wreckless abandon and inconsideration to all kinds of minority and differently-challenged individuals and subcultures.
For example, while wandering the streets of Teddington, without any warning or the aid of safety equipment, I started smirking at this shop name. Any sign that is declaring the bodily activities of people potentially originating from Gascony can prompt me to display potentially confusing or offensive behaviours.
Thanks to Mrs. Pouncer for pointing out this entertaining sign on the front door of a Reading nightclub targetting clientelle of a gay disposition who will benefit from some illustrated suggestions on courtship techniques.
This quaint, effective system, for announcing your presence is in use in my local GP surgery (family heath centre UK style, not a ‘polyclinic’). The receptionist is off doing useful things away from the reception desk and arrives very promptly when the bell sounds.
Ding Ding!
its a pleasant sound and an easy system to understand…
A sign at the check-out counter of a childrens toy department makes it clear that only adults can purchase imitation fire-arms. At least children wont be able to get their hands on imitation firearms when they feel the need to use them for nefarious purposes… …naughty children.
I can also report that there was not a group of children outside the store asking people to purchase the imitation firearms on their behalf, they must be using more cunning organised methods to acquire them.
The staff at Jacksons are solution builders. When something doesn’t work they fix it, no unnecessary fuss.
For example, this light switch set in the Ladies underwear changing rooms controls 8 different lights in the main store. The lights cannot be seen from the switch location. Which lights are controlled by which switches? You would need 2 people to find-out by a try it and see method. Would you be able to remember from one day to the next which switch controls which lights?
The staff at Jacksons don’t have to learn or remember which light is controlled by which switch because they’ve cunningly labelled the switches! Now, which lights are ’spot 3.4′?
A couple of signs outside of the Royal Berkshire Hospital’s Medical museum left me completely discombobulated for all of 10 minutes. How do these signs work together, if at all?
Ambulances only
as Medical Museum exhibits?
as Medical museum visitors?
Can park when delivering Medical Museum guests?
Can park outside the medical museum but their occupants have more pressing engagements than exploring the undoubtedly fascinating preceding accoutrements of their current treatments.
The Royal Berkshire Hospital building facade is very impressive. Provision of a museum to enlighten the locals is a very thoughtful addition.
England welcomes all sorts of people, even bus enthusiasts, as long as they behave like responsible citizens by following health and safety instructions and reporting suspicious unattended packages to the appropriate security authorities.
In the UK buildings can be licenced to pursue music, dancing, and entertainment of the like kind, they also enjoy throwing several large dollops of befuddlement into the mix, just in case
The store is branded with a dark green background to its main name sign above the mannequinned window displays and below the large lettering that eponymously announces ‘Jacksons corner’ . The text on its custom plastic bags and the piece de resistance is the wonderful font used to announce Jacksons on the green marble entrance way.
Not ‘are you apprehended by the police for the ghastly crime of insufficient height’ but another clever euphemism for wanting to go to the toilet. The city of Westminster has signs to help you out with clever stick-people designs to illustrate the problem for those people who don’t understand the idiom ‘caught short’. My favourite part of the sign is the invitation to text toilet, for a toilet. Hoorah, no euphemisims there just send a text saying what you need, effectively the bottom-line…
The sign over a Reading downtown establishment says ‘Vodka and Food’, not ‘Spirits and Sandwiches’ nor ‘Alcohol and Chicken tikka Masala’ not ‘Food and Vodka’, nor ‘Lunch and Liquor’. I wonder who their audience is? I’ve heard about ‘Chav’s’since returning to Britian, do Chav’s favour Vodka?
What does he CCTV camera directed at the entrance tell me? Probably not much since CCTV cameras are almost ubiquitous in UK town centres, apparantly in 2006 there was one camera for every 14 people, but maybe it says something that I can’t hear…
The free Thames Valley Park bus service is outstanding. It not only provides free wireless internet access, it also provides signs to let you know where the internet access might be a bit buggy.
A jumble sale in the local church, not something I came across in the NW US. The word jumble didn’t crop up at all. Ah, memories of crowds of people waiting for a sale to open, the rush to get the bargains, old people with elbows of steel aimed with the precision of military training at my softer-parts… …money raised being put towards renewing the church roof….
I suspect that the people fishing were hampering the shoppers from parting with their cash. All that rowdy fishing and other, unspeakable, disruptive disturbing behaviours that accompany fishing.
I hope I’m not arrested for taking this photograph. Shhhhh….. don’t tell anyone….
even the extremely long list of fonts in my Microsoft Office Word 2003 doesn’t include this one on Nicholoson’s corneer shop in Sumner. Small towns provide exquisite orginality and be-jeaned red car drivers
Hamptop Court Palace 
