Jul 30 2008

smells like tobacco

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When the smell of car,  smell of book,  or smell of plastic just isn’t enough to please the peoplewho come within sniffing distance of your life.   

When you long for the-day-after-a-night-in-the-pub smokey scent in your hair, 

Try the new tobacco scented shower gel

you know it makes scents.


Jul 24 2008

smells like car

category: female condition
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when smell of book,  or smell of plastic just isn’t enough for the women in your life,  try smell of car …


Apr 29 2008

smells like plastic

category: using things
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Loooooook what I’ve got!

A new technical gadgetty hand-held pocket-sized,  shiney, toy sent to me without solicitation.

This little thingy is going to keep my already seemingly rather complex online banking sign-in that requests out-of-sequence entry of 2 different pin codes,  even more complex. 

Admire It’s all new no-cat-hairs-or-greasy finger-prints casing,  straight out of the box-smells-like-plasitc.  My personal favourite bit is the powder-blue button labelled ‘identity‘.  This button is for my life as a secret agent,  I can click this and change identity.  For example from Ms to Mrs in the flash of a stereotype.


Dec 30 2006

racey stinker

category: female condition
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For a man who’s too ‘macho‘ to wear perfume.  Has someone questioned his masculinity?  He needs to reassert he is not a namby-pamby faggot.  “Daytona 500″ scent of the race-track: oil; exhaust fumes; gasoline. Daytona 500 for men who like to go round in circles, getting no-where, fast:

Alternatively,  if you’ve got twice the cash to splash on drowning his natural scent, simply make him hum.  

Looks like the patriarchy is stepping up to sell masculinity using the same tactics that have been tried and tested selling femininity to females… 


Jul 10 2006

smells like plastic

category: euphemisms
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A sticker on the underside of my shoe says:

Synthetic upper. Man made sole.

Woman made upper? Machine-made upper? Synthetic sole?  The sole looks like machine moulded plastic rather than ‘hand’ made by people.  It all smells like plastic to me. I wonder why the sticker doesn’t say something like

plastic

or, to be more specific:

made by people and machines from plastic


May 17 2006

humming

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something for the stinker in your life:

Perfume named after the polluting vehicle

hum = verb,  to smell bad.  A ‘hummer’ is something that emits a bad smell.    How appropriate ;-)


Feb 26 2006

peat fire, scotts pine and burned rubber

category: friends & idols
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Cummings, the fragrance official site. The photographic pun’s on traditional perfume marketing images are worth a look. The whole site is both professional and gently tongue in cheek.  These qualities have left me wanting to try this smell.

Excerpts from Cummings, the fragrance site

With a name like mine it was made to be sprayed all over people’s body’s, what do you think?” A Cummings

an assertively masculine combination of bergamot, whiskey, cigar, leather, highland mud, and… condom.”  (Allure)

Mild. Nice. Not obtrusive” (Martha Stewart)


Nov 07 2005

Sweet smelling birthday openers…

category: short stories
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Books and t-shirt both received a thorough face-hugging sniff… 

W