wendy house

1. Airway Heights is on a flat surrounded by higher ground.. ?!
2. Fairchild Airforce Base is on part of State Route 2 near airway heights  labelled as ‘Rambo Road’, aspirational imagery or some form of joke?
3. Airway Heights Corrections Center (Prison) is sign-posted from Rambo, not Papillon,  road.
4. No sign of Dan’s bottom in  Reardan.
5. Tautological sign posting;    a road sign announced “scenic vista“.  
6. Northwest arts and culture museum attendant said “Miss, please do not put your stuffed toy on the cars“,    what a charmer, no messing with ‘Mam’, ‘Lady’ or ‘Oi! YOU”

There was quite a lot of giggling and some wincing  on the roads around Spokane

Our Barcelonean correspondent is a bit miffed.  Eyan  writes:

Am translating the most tedious web page ever, which makes Madrid look as exciting as a wet weekend in Middlesborough without a DVD or laptop. It’s probably written by some pijo (read posh kid or Ivy leaguer) who has connections to the Partido Popular (read Tory or Republican party), not unikely to have connections with Opus Dei and is bound to be somebody’s cousin, niece, or nephew. Meritocracy is not the word for Spanish society. Most overused words – offer ( used 27 times as a verb and noun in about 2,000 words), enjoy, importante, (which is often translated into English as significant).

My guide also describes the main gay area, Chueca,  without actually saying it is a gay area. It only refers to “subcultures” ( there are also a lot of trendy places nearby, but not actually really in Chueca). Gays offend Catholic fundamentalist sensibilities, along with poor people, socialists and immigrants.

While Eyan was tackling turgid sleep-inducing web-page prose,  I was tackling crossing the vast open plains of Spokane roads…   …how wide?

Spokane Falls at nightOriginally uploaded by :: Wendy ::.

It was really this pretty, all soft spray and coloured lights a gentle roar of water. Lots of smooching couples nearby being all squishily romantic. I was too shy to photograph them…

I asked the other guests at the Stoltz House.

Edmonton  couple: for a vacation

Banff  couple: we’ve just bought an apartment here

The couple from Edmonton continued with the story of their son’s recent wedding in the Ukraine.

Edmonton couple:   there are no fat people in the Ukraine; everyone has wonderful figures, even the old people.

We shared a complimentary bottle of red wine supplied by Phyllis,   the outstanding landlady of Stoltz House for that last 14yrs,   Phyllis is incomparable,   a pure diamond.  I learned that Banff is lacking for cultural entertainment in the summer and is within driving distance of the happening city of Spokane.   A pleasant drive.  I learned  about ‘King Ralph’,   a radio and TV personality with a drinking problem that is currently the premier of Alberta, not  the film starring John Goodman.

I managed not to giggle at multiple uses of the word  ‘a boooooot’.

It was a tough challenge after two glasses of wine.   I sat in my corner,   nodded occassionaly and laughed at the genuinely funny stories.

After 1 beer lists are the height of my organisation prowess.   After 2 beers I can reach the heady heights of a  miss-typed stream of consciousness.   Tee hee, Jack Kerouac  eat your heart out.   See if you can  guess where, in this stream of consciousness, I finnish my second beer…..

10 things to contemplate doing around Spokane ((structure of this post was inspired by Jen’s ’10 things’ series.))

1. Visit the site of the former World fair,   riverfront park.   Waterfalls,   gardens, funfair rides,   and a ‘falls sky ride’   oooOOOoooooo….     …I hope Flat Eric doesn’t suffer from vertigo!
2. Try-out some wines from the local wineries.    Can I taste the mining, or nuclear, pollution?   Does  this give  the wines a  zesty ‘kill your taste-buds’ tang?   It’s got to be done!
3. Take a look at the outside of  the Kaiser Aluminum plant,   one of those places where workers were exposed to Asbestos. It’s a business that is expanding in Spokane and supplies materials to build aeroplanes.  
4. Look at the architecture downtown.   The Davenport Hotel looks like it could be a fabulous turn of the century building that I can wander into without parting with cash.
5. Visit the Northwest museum of arts and culture,   that has a special exhibition on ‘cars and costume’,   an intriguing juxtaposition.
6. Visit the ‘Crosby’ center on the Gonzaga campus,   named after the local boy ‘Bing Crosby’.   Maybe take a photograph of Flat Eric in front of the statue of Bing.
7. find out about the subduing of the indigneous  Spokane, Palouse, Coeur D’Alene tribes (visit the Steptoe battlefield),   check out some ancient  petroglyphs.
8. walk,  roller-blade or bike along the Spokane Centenai trail.
9. visit a couple of local ‘prairies’ and look for ‘little houses’ on them.   ‘Orchard prairie’ is by a town called ‘Country Homes’ with names like these they are just calling out for a visit….   They don’t have ‘prairies’ in Britain.   For me their novelty value hasn’t worn off and I grew-up watching the Ingle’s girls….
10. Visit Manito park.   Mainly to be in  a pretty place designed to make people relax and be happy,   but also to get some local information on the Olmstead Brothers influence.   I’m an Olmstead brothers groupie.   Only since they  are dead there’s no sex on the cards when being a groupie.   Sigh.    I’ve admired them since I was 20 when I first studied environmental psychology as an undergraduate.    The wikipedia entry on their achievements doesn’t adequately praise their work in the light of the predominant contemporary attitudes towards nature,   especially European attitudes.    You might get treated to a bit of my gushing over these guys in a later blog entry.   IF you are lucky.   You could get lucky.   I used to get paid,   yes  PAID,  to  discuss their work with people.   People?   well undegraduates,   I’m not sure if they count,   they’re so busy being hip and pre-mature and having sex and stuff even though they can say some insightful things in odd moments of lucidity during seminars,   mainly they’re just cute in a grungy kind of way,   or at least they were when I taught….    

If I do only two things in that list I’ll be a happy bouncy bunny.   Did you spot where the stream of consciousness krept in?   I bet you did,   you’re clever like that  

Over-prepared-two-beer-tiddly-Wendy