wendy house

In the US it is an exclamation of disappointment.

In the UK it is a noun describing someone’s sexual proclivities. 

It still makes me laugh when a US friend writes bummer on my facebook status giving my English friends something to snigger and smirk about.

wendy: i think I must be lonely

mary: rubbish, you are the least lonely person that I know, you just spend a lot of your time on your own

We met several months before.  We both started a ‘mountain glacier hiking’ course.  At 60 Mary was the oldest person on the course. She had not signed up as part of a couple nor was she treating the course as a mate-finding opportunity.   How refreshing. I soon started to seek-out Mary’s company while hiking and during the rest breaks.  I quickly tired of the chattering from other hikers, normally affluent couples considering what gear to purchase, what restaurant to recommend. 

At 60 Mary’s love for her terminally-ill bed-ridden husband was not stated, but it beamed stronger than a lighthouse.  She recorded our hiking sessions, the beautiful scenery and laughter,  for him with her new digital camera.  He could feel part of an active interesting life because she sought this life out and carefully bought it back to his bedside with love. What a fabulously generous heart. 

I fell in love with Mary. Not the love that hungers for sexual validation. Not a love that needed to be returned.  There was deep peace in her company. Knowing this I invited myself to her home in the foothills of Mount Ranier. The home she had built with her husband before his death so noticibly stepped towards him.

wendy: can I help you gather the leaves from your garden?

Mary: yes. they  will fall as fast as you’ll be able to gather them

After a morning gardening, mostly in silence, we went inside and Mary finished the home made french onion soup.  She talked while she stirred. Talked of how her father raped her and how the authorities didnt believe her story. Talked of how her sister committed suicide. How she left her bilogical family and built her own new family.  How she worked to help abused children and beaten wives. Clearly she has known and seen more loneliness than I could feel.

 The cedar dappled autumn sun played on her face.  No tears, no frown lines. 

It seems we have both found some form of peace amidst life, in the silences

wendy: it’s a birthday, maybe we can’t have fireworks but I’ve got some sparklers we could use

hostess: who’s birthday?

wendy: the USA, independence day. I’ve got a flag

hostess: please don’t bring it

One August we stopped in the small town of Chesaw that had a Rodeo ground,  a bar, and half a dozen teenage smokers hanging around. A small town in Okanogan highlands (Okanonogan pronounced like tobogan). 

We went into the bar an ordered the only thing on the menu – a burger.  The 5 other people in the bar sat on high stools with their gaze glued to the TV screen showing a live Mariners game playing 3 hours south in Seattle.  While waiting for our burgers a small dark object like an oversized fly repeatedly bashed itself against the window pain.  I pointed this out to the barman and asked if I could open the window to let it out.  The barman took a pint glass,  placed it over the hummingbird,  slid a beer-matt underneath then took it to the open door and shook it out,  just as I have done many a time with a wasp, or spider. 

Excellent burger

I’ll always remember my first hummingbird

The upcoming cartoon  ”Cheyenne Cinnamon and the Fantabulous Unicorn of Sugar Town Candy Fudge” is about “a Strawberry Shortcake pop princess that lives in a candy wonderland just outside of Detroit. She comes into Detroit and helps solve problems of racism and teen pregnancy with the power of love and teen pop songs“.   The lead cartoon character lip-synch’s to sing the pop songs because the actress is a country and western singing star,   not a pop singing star.  

What a fantastic cartoon idea.   I love it when the Americans self-parody like this.   They are self-parodying aren’t they?

Vegetarian ex-psychiatric nurse John Darnielle’s talent and presence  was one of the exquisite highlights of living in the USA.  

The mountain goats sang This year

You can use this US government website https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov computer system for FREE!

To submit a request to travel to the US , an ESTA. Lovely. Then you’ll be photographed and fingerprinted on arrival and they might let you in. Lovely.

HahahahHAhaHAHAHahahahaha (the sound of manic laughing fading into the distance)

Apparantly US English is classed as an ethnic minority version of English.  

The Seattle Federal court building is very impressive in both size and contemporary design.   The architects  NBBJ  provide a  project description of the building on their website.   The Seattle Daily Journal of Commerce also provides some statistics and stories about the building.  

Unlike the  Reading Crown court I was:

• - allowed to take my camera into the building but had to promise  not to take  photographs.
• - warned about the $100 for my cell-phone ringing in a court room.  
• - required to produce a photo ID.  
• - directed to a standalone touch-sensitive display system with terminals on every floor  that provided information about the court cases and the building.

I asked if the Murals and Sculptures in the huge atrium were exceptions to the no-photography rule.   Alas,  they weren’t.     Like the English Crown court the Federal court deals with criminal cases.

Its difficult to estimate the ‘interestingness’ of a case from its title on the  touch sensitive display system:  ”The USA vs (person or corporation’s name)”.   I chose a court where I discovered the judge was accepting guilty pleas and setting pre-sentencing requirements such as psychiatric and drugs assessments.     The two  cases I watched  were illegal drug possession (Valium, Zoloft)  by a diabetic in pain because of a kidney disorder who had just lost her job in a pharmacy.   The second case was a violation of a parole requirement  to avoid alcohol by an alcoholic.

A striking design feature of this courtroom was how similar it is to the court-rooms I’ve seen in US films.   There is a central isle through the public gallery to a low gate marking the entrance to  the main court area.   The barrier is purely symbolic,   anyone could step over the low-wall,   gate dividing the court from the public gallery.  The public and the lawyers enter by walking down the isle.   In the UK the door to the public gallery appears to be separate none of the court officials have to walk through the public.   Depending on their status the  accused enters  through the public gallery (not yet  proven guilty of anything) or  wearing  prison gear from a door in the main court area.     Just before the judge entered the room the court clerk banged a gavel three times and called out ‘all rise’.

The Seattle  federal court building has the  declaration of independence decorating a low wall and is reflected (backwards) on the the floor in front of the Court building.   This struck me as curious.   A supersticious person might think that the declaration of independence written backwards was an omen of loss of freedom.    Writing the document on the floor means  that  any one can walk on  it,   placing it on a long low wall is just too tempting for many dogs whos natural inclination  might well be considered disrespectful of National treasure.  

female escrow agent dressed in a cowbow outfit for an internal morale event: do you have thanks giving in the UK?

Wendy:     …..

cowboy escrow agent: oh,   no,   its all about the pilgrims and the Indians so you probably don’t

(Warning:   anyone with aversions to bulleted lists should avert their eyes after the next sentence)  

The July 4th parade in the City  formerly known as Bug  is by far the most engaging,  relaxed and  inclusive I have ever experienced.   Inclusiveness includes:

• Buses to Baseball teams,
• Karate clubs to cheerleaders,
• Hairdressers to hospice staff,  
• Logs to dogs,
• Milk to mariachi bands,
• Moped formation riders to mexican restaurant football team,
• elected officials to racing cars,
• submarines to saxophones, and of course
• Tractors,   Tractors and more Tractors.

Some people even drive their tractors to the parade  for a good view.   Everyone  cheers and waves at everyone else.  

An all around  love fest of everyday life.  

South West UK:   mostly cloudy with outbreaks of rain

unlike like outbreaks of acne,   outbreaks of rain can be pleasant.   Misty fog with rain and drizzle can seem appealing when you’re not suffering from floods,   like the UK.

North West Pacific:   icky sticky

Here in the NW US,   despite proximity to  rain forests and mountains  on the west,  a reputation for rain and  yet more  mountains and deserts on the east,  we’re having a  hot sink.  

Even the kitties are panting for air conditioning.    

There is definitely a miner surge in the  icky-sticky ratings understated in the weather summary:

I confess to be in search of an image that somehow captures my archetype,   stereotype, of the US.   The unexported America,   not the internationally spread coffee houses,   fast food chains,   cans and bottles of soft drinks.   The image must capture something of what is and something of aspirational.   I doubt my photographic skills will adequately capture and convey this image, if it exists.   Here is a placeholder that caught  part of the my archetype.

It  captures the styling of the  classic red pick-up truck and  the white picket fence.   I rarely saw them in the UK where box hedges appear to be the  territory border marker of choice.  

The overhead lines, on tilted poles, are seemingly ubiquious.     What’s missing from this picture?  

• boys in baseball caps and khaki cargo pants  
• manicured,   pedicured, pony-tailed girls chewing gum and announcing ‘like, a whole bunch of,   like,   is all’.  
• much loved tractor  
• healthy perky dog

What would your photograph include?

Do not underestimate a North American’s need for ice cubes.

If you  haven’t been raised with the ever-present  ice-cubes of North America their necessity is not obvious.   Practically edible makes the following points:

“In Europe, however, Ice Cubes are not so omnipresent…       ….In North America, though, serving drinks at the right, chilled temperature does seem to be a matter of life or death for its inhabitants. Ice Cubes have therefore become a very complex topic”  

Practically edible suggests that the difference evolved due to space constraints with Europeans not having sufficient  superluous space to house large freezers or use their limited freezer space for ice when it could be used for to ensure more nourishing food items last longer.    My experience suggests that the existance of ice in the drink is more critical than the temperature  to the North American experience.    

 You can even buy pre-packaged,   unfrozen, ice-cubes from “Ice Rocks“!   Now that’s just a bit too silly for me.   In the NW USA you can buy bags of ice-cubes in the supermarkets.    

Iced drinks provide one way to stay cool in hot southern States and desert areas  .   When crossing the USA last summer taking breaks  at soda shops to cool ourselves with an iced  drink was a pleasure in a way  the UK climate would not induce.    During this drive,   encouraged by my native companion, I  tried a drink made with ground-ice and flavouring,   a ‘Slushy’.  

Wikipedia summarises the North American ice cube addiction using cultural comparisons:

“Traditionally, drinks in the United States are served with ice; in Europe they are served with or without ice. In India and other parts of the world, it has traditionally been viewed as unhealthy to drink something with ice in it; today, many older Indians still refuse to use it”

Can you imagine a North American  trying to feed an elderly Indian an ice cube and the Indian STILL tries to refuse it?   Outrageous!   How ignorant can you get?   Nevermind,   the younger Indians are more susceptible to the propaganda of ice cube necessity so resistance will eventually die out.  

I wonder what impact ice has on your taste-buds or your ability to digest efficiently?    I couldn’t find anything enlightening on these topics online.   North Americans can get very testy over  lack of understanding of their ice addiction.    Examples of North American’s flaming Europeans for not indulging the ice addiction on Answer.com.  

The Wikipedia ice cube entry closes with this caring warning for people not familiar with the complexities and dangers of handing ice cubes:

WARNING: For your own safety, do not attempt to freeze any part of your body.

Aerial circus star Clyde Pangborn and playboy Hugh Herndon, Jr., captured the Japanese prize with a glorious belly-flop in Wenatchee, Wash., in 1931.

I passed this hangar while faffing around in East Wenatchee.   Then discovered this colourful article on the    HistoryNet    (above title).   Local Washington State boy Mr. Pangborn was quite a character,   he went on to  join the RAF (Royal Air Force)

A ‘prince of quacks’ in Queen city.   Dr. Roy Pierce’s medical elixia appears to be an exemplar of ‘medical quackery’.   He created,   marketed and patented the ingredients of a range of ‘medical’ products.   There is a wonderful humour in the well-maintained barn-painted advertisement for this phenomena (medicine quack) of the wild-west.

respect the pole on this International workers,   Labour day.   In Seattle many  immigrants celebrate by peacefully, silently,  marching downtown.   Last year it was described as “A day without immigrants” raising awareness of their often invisible contribution to labour in major cities all over the USA.      The USA allocated a different day to celebrate it’s workers,   in  doing so it left this international day open,   for its international community, its  immigrants.

Nurse:   what’s the problem?
Wendy: I’ve had a fever for 3 days
Nurse: what’s your temperature?
Wendy: I don’t know, I don’t have a thermometer (feels extremely  guilty for failing this social communication requirement,   I haven’t transformed my experience into a standardised, shared,  language a  thermometer scale)
Nurse: how do you know you’ve got a fever?
Wendy:   alternating between profuse sweating and cold shakes with some hallucinations?

UK court verdict on US shooting of UK soldier:    unlawful,   avoidable killing.   A US plane twice fired on a convoy of UK troops whose vehicles were marked with the pre-agreed orange fabric.  The BBC reports a transcript from the US plane crew:

“At the start of the attack, one pilot notices orange panels on the vehicles and asks whether there could be any friendly units in the area… …Pilots open fire but soon the error is realised and they are informed that friendly units were in the area“

There are lots of disturbing threads to the stories as published in the British press.   I hear them daily on  radio, TV,  internet and newspapers.  The most disturbing, unexplicit,  storyline is that the US conduct their internal investigations to find themselves innocent.    For the USA it is  reasonable that they ignore the standard NATO symbol  for identifying NATO vehicles.   For the USA it is reasonable  to make  sure evidence is not made available to NATO allies by lying,  denying the existence of the cockpit tapes.    

The crux of the different verdicts are reported as based around  a difference in the UK and the USA ‘rules for engagement’ without these rules of engagement explicitly being reported,  a British soldier comments that:

“the incident would not have happened if American troops had as strict rules as the British on opening fire.”  

This is not a unique verdit,   where the US has been (ir)responsible for the death of UK soldiers.     The incident has an analogous dynamic to many USA’s engagements with other Nations and Nationals.   The USA look gun-happy in so many ways,   internal laws,   internal crime statistics, international diplomacy  and even in its dealings with its allies.  

British people I meet wonder how I can stand to live in the USA,   they variously  refer to  the USA  as an immature, ignorant, greedy, fat,  dishonest,  sick, bully.  

twenty-first post in a  Thursday series of snoops into experiences of taking tiffin with  (black) tea  in the NW USA.

Thursday Tiffin #21: secret garden  (conkers)

recommended venue for an atmospheric, private,  conversation with special friends or family over a good cup of tea and to stock up some sizable conkers.

1890′s Historically registered building.   For the US West coast that is REALLY OLD!   There are several huge old conker trees in the garden.   The ground is littered with conkers.    I rarely see conker trees in the puget sound region.   A habit left over from childhood, I placed a few big, heavy,  symmetrical conkers in my pocket, just incase…    

Inside,    high quality retro décor, not kitsch or overdone.   White table-clothes and napkins.   Antique furniture that is not ‘distressed’.   The establishment blends beautifully American and English tea taking ceremonies with excellent food in a tasteful, timeless ambiance.   Let me say ‘excellent food’ once again.   Prices are neither cheap  nor  exorbitant.   I had a large bowl of Coconut Chicken Lemon grass soup with a scone and a small pot of Darjeeling that came to about $10 including tax.

English

• clientele included men as well as women
• a jug of milk was offered before it was requested
• sugar-cubes in a bowl with tongs
• matching china crockery and pseudo-silver flatware
• soup served with an actual soup spoon

American

• The en-suite shop that sells quaint things, pink things and sparkly jewellery things
• A glass of iced water, regularly topped-up
• The scones (more like English rock cakes)
• wide choice of sugar substitutes in sachets on the table
• over 70 types of tea on a laminated plastic menu
• staff attentive and clearly amenable to customer requests not currently on the menu.   I overhead a customer asking for, and receiving,   iced tea.   In January.  

Those tiny imperfections that even an excellent establishment can have…they are trivial….

• small   (3 cups) stoneware (not china) pot with external tea leaf strainer, no extra pot of hot water provided.   I was offered a top-up for the existing pot with stewed leaves.   Yuck.
• multiple paintings of roses (all shades of red-pink) and FAKE flowers on tables
• 30 mins or more drive from Downtown Seattle into small-towns-ville.  
• it’s popular,   you should book in advance

The isle closest to the entrance of the fridge is dedicated to breakfast.    One side is ‘pancake mix’ the other ‘cold cereal’.   The fridge is often this crowded.   A girl could get agrophobic agoraphobic in here or maybe I should try a stronger deodorant?

World traveller called to tell me the Truck has finally shuffled of this mortal coil.   Let’s take 2 minutes silence to respect the daring do’s of the red truck:

• Being shiny and new (1974)
• Costing $450.00  and driving from Oregon to Ellensburgh (2005)
• Carrying the contents of World traveller’s home 3,000 miles from Ellensburgh to New York, with only one little hiccup  (Aug. 2006)

Towards the end of the road trip we began to bet a bit confused about which State we were actually in.    Because:

• Burn-out.   We were generally more in  a state towards the end of the trip than at the beginning.   We ultimately crossed 14/50 States  covering approximately 3,300 miles in 10 days.   By day 7 our thinking was generally a bit cloudy,   like Iowa,   or was it Ohio.
• Turn-over.   Sometimes we passed more than one State in a day.   Wisconsin, Iowa  and Indiana just flew by.  
• Vowell-challenge.      Iowa and Ohio seem to merge in my triple-vowell challenged consciousness.  

I think Iowa and Ohio looked like this,   arable farms (corn and peas),   cloudy,  straight deserted roads.      I can’t be sure.

During our drive across North America we passed many buildings and,  frankly, shacks advertising Taxidermy services.   Many more buildings were decorated with stuffed animals.   A quick internet search throws up multiple US websites offering Taxidermy training or lists of Taxidermy businesses,   for example this list for Michigan.

This photograph shows a stuffed  Otter hanging in the window of a bar in Idaho:

The published storyline is that the US government was scared of riots on international labour day, May 1st, and socialism when the date, first Monday in September, was selected.  

In North America the first Monday in September is the “Labor Day Weekend”.    In the US the Monday is a national Holiday.    Not vacation, Holiday.   Vacations appear to be taken by individuals while Holiday’s are  given by the US government.    The US Department of Labor website explaining the history of the US Labor Day does not cite pre-existing “Labour days” in other countries or any international level recognition of the value of labour to society.     Wikipedia has 2 entires on Labour days one for North America (September) and one for the rest of the world   (Labour, May 1st).   The rest of the world entry does  include Canada Labour day,   British spelling,   US compatible date.  

Wikipedia Labour day excerpt:

“A Labour Day is an annual holiday celebrated all over the world that resulted from efforts of the labour union movement, to celebrate the economic and social achievements of workers.   The celebration of Labour Day has its origins in the eight hour day movement, which advocated eight hours for work, eight hours for recreation, and eight hours for rest.”

Wikipedia Labor day excerpt:

“The origins of the American Labor Day can be traced back to the Knights of Labor in the United States and a parade organized by them on September 5, 1882 in New York City. They were inspired by an annual labor parade held in Toronto, Canada. In 1884 another parade was held, and the Knights passed resolutions to make this an annual event. Other labor organizations (and there were many), but notably the affiliates of the International Workingmen’s Association favored a May 1 holiday. With the event of Chicago’s Haymarket riots in early May of 1886, president Grover Cleveland believed that a May 1 holiday could become an opportunity to commemorate the riots. Thus, fearing that it might strengthen the socialist movement, he quickly moved in 1887 to support the position of the Knights of Labor and their date for Labor Day”

One indicator of labour’s health and value,   work-life balance,    does not look positive within the  US  compared to other Nations represented by the United Nations.    PNR reports that:

US companies are perceived as being responsible for an increasingly poor work-life balance… …the U.S. ranks as one of the highest in average annual hours worked per person, a rank that has remained virtually unchanged since 1990, according to statistics from the International Labor Organization at the United Nations.

This fits with my personal experience and appears to influence the whole fluffy notion of ‘way of life’ here in the US.   They are Free to work their sox off and employ services to maximise the efficiency of  their limited ‘life’ time out of work (Nanny’s,   cleaners,   dishwashers,   plummers,   house-painters, Kitchen remodellers,   personal trainers,   gyms…..).

 sunset in Yellowstone park:

Imagine it’s 10pm at night.   You’re driving through,   no street lights,   almost no traffic.   The sensible tourists left  before sunset.   The gas tank is running dangerously  low,   the winding roads make judging distance from the map more a wild guess than an approximate  calculation.   If we run-out AAA could always send someone with a large jug of gas,   if we can get cell-phone reception to call them.    We may be sleeping in the truck if we don’t get to a gas station soon.   We’re in a tight spot.   Conversation stops.  

Our headlights revealed a car  stopped in the road ahead.   We pull up.    One by one 5 Buffalo  climb from the steep incline onto the flat road.   In silent awe we forget that we might be sleeping in the truck as these lighfooted giants  gracefully cross the road ahead.  

Soon after the Buffalo crossing we found a motel.    The morning  revealed a gas station within 100 yards of the gas-starved truck.

1. Teachers each day will fill lamps, clean chimneys
2. Each teacher will bring a bucket of water and scuttle of coal for the days session.
3. Make your pens carefully,  you may whittle nibs to the individual taste of each pupil.
4. Men teachers may take one evening each week for courting purposes, or two evenings a week if they go to church regularly.
5. After ten hours in school, teachers may use the remaining time reading the bible or other good books.
6. Women teachers who marry or engage in unseemly conduct will be dismissed.
7. Every teacher should lay aside from each pay a goodly sum of their earnings for his benefit during declining years so he will not become a burden on society.
8. Any teachers who smokes,   uses liquor in any form, frequents pool or public halls, or gets shaved in a barber shop will give good reason to suspect his worth,   intention, integrity and honesty.
9. The teacher who performs his labour faithfully and without fault for five years will be given an increase of 25 cents per week in his pay providing the board of education approves.

From a set of rules published on the wall of Granny Joe’s, Vermilion, Ohio:

World Traveller took a fancy to reviving  her Japan developed Karaoke skills in some small town with no chance of repercussions during our road trip.    Friday,   Saturday night on the road came and went without a nearby Karaoke event.   Then.   Sunday.   The motel was attached to a restaurant-bar advertising karaoke on Sunday.  Tonight.  While carrying our stuff to our room a permanent guest briefly told us her life story and introduced us to Zack*, the bar chef who ran the Karaoke, as clients for his evening’s entertainment.   While we ate our meal a puppy-like Zack kept popping into the restaurant to check if we were ready.   He couldn’t wait.   He started singing several songs.   We heard the singing,   ordered another pint of the local brew Yuengling, and wandered into the bar.

World traveller helped me choose a relatively easy song.   “Crazy little thing called love” by Queen.   After 3 pints (one more than my usual) I levered the microphone off Zack (not an easy task) and sang.   The Bar manager commented on how my accent disappeared when I sang.  ”He’s English too” I weakly protested.

World traveller picked “Me and Bobby Magee” by Janis Joplin.   Zack was on a roll,   getting the microphone from him was no mean feat.   Finally she managed it and produced a fine rendering though not to her own high standard.   Having given-up smoking constrained her ability to really scream the lyrics to her satisfaction.   The bar seemed impressed,   a school teacher,   a single mother, a tractor designer and assorted others, mainly staff at the motel-bar-restaurant,   like Zack.

As a compromise to ease removing the microphone from Zack World Traveller sang a duet with him,   “Don’t go breaking my heart” by Elton John and Kiki Dee.   He explained the lyric colour-coding to World traveller once,   twice, three times.   As they started singing he said “this is you” then “this is all me“.   Clearly the whole event was all about Zack.   I learned that the Karaoke machine only cost $30.   The school teacher asked me to make requests for songs she wanted to sing “He’ll do it if you ask,   he’ll ignore us” she explained.   Single mom helped me sing “don’t speak” by No Doubt and commented that I had a talent for picking songs with difficult timing.   School teacher went home to pick-up her child (another single mom) then came back to finish the evening with us.

Other songs covered:   New York New York (Franky),   Saturday night’s alright for fighting,   Candle in the wind (Elton John),   Yellow (Coldplay),   Let me sleep on it (Meatloaf)  and some American classics I barely recall in the ilk of Hotel California.   At midnight the bar manager threw us all out.   For $2 a beer World Traveller and I had a spanking good time only totalling $12.   Bargain!  As we ambled back to our Motel room and hugged goodbye’s one of the people at the bar,   that neither of us recall having spoken to, gave us his email address commenting that he would be hunting Bear in Montana soon,   out our way.  

*names have been changed to protect the singers

In South Dakota we saw REAL COWBOYS.   Not people merely masquerading  in cowboy boots, hats, jeans and western-cut shirts.   These boys had just unloaded their horse-carrying trailer and were mounting-up ready to round-up some nearby cattle.  

In the ferocity of female-pheromone-fast-production and general dribbling I completely forgot about the camera as World Traveller excitedly announced

“real cowboys,   there,   look,   I’ll slow up” (she was driving)

Every other pick-up truck  from Montana to Wyoming  hauls a horse-trailer.   Modern cowboys haul their horses cross-country before using them to “off road”   HA!   horses,   the orgininal “off roaders”   who needs a 4×4 when you’ve got a 6-pack of horses in your trailer!

 

The town is one large tourist shop “Wall Drug” with an entertaining marketing campaign (signposts) that leave the actual experience as an anti-climax.  I do vaguely remember climax’s so I can recognize anti-climax’s.  It does have a fire-station,   a grain store and  wireless internet at an economy motel.