hairdresser:
have you ever been married? (No) do you have children? (No) you look A LOT younger than 50!
wendy:
kids and husband’s do seem to prematurely age many people. I suspect loving them produces a lot of worry.
Triple action Filorga deed-fill plaster with blast those wrinkles away. Because it’s
BIOLOGICAL
MECHANICAL
OPTICAL
(It’s not greased lightening, and mind you don’t get it in your eyes)
I need some plaster to deep fill my wrinkles but 10 ml won’t go far! It probably takes at least 24 hours to set too. The trouble is that I can only apply this by ‘Dabbing’ in the morning, no trowels allowed and no after lunch dabbing either. Only touch-ups during the day. Got that?
NO DABBING
I’ve known these people since primary school, they’ve just never grown up.
Love it!
Would you trust this lady with ensuring you got 5 a day? Exactly. Quite so. You can spot a dangerously subversive smile on a beautiful person…
My 90 year aunt rubs her distorted, arthritic, hands. Despite this distortion I find her hands beautiful. Her gently winkled skin doesn’t betray her grand age
Knarled and dapper
Mumsie and her elder sister try to remember the names and professions of their long-past elderly relatives who were mainly females:
Even the married female relatives lived as-if they were unmarried – without their husbands, running thier own businesses:
…
wendy: can you come out to play tonight?
you: Um, actually, no, not really, I’ve got some ironing to do
wendy: I’m only in town for a couple of days, what if I come over and we talk while you iron?
you: yes, that would be nice
As I watched you dig-out a pair of socks from the avalanching mountain of fresh laundry then
I began to understand why you had bought me an Iron for my 25th birthday present. I had never owned and iron before, nor since. The choice of present had initially baffled me, I don’t need an iron, its a rather functional present. I had laughed and said
Oh! an Iron, I haven’t got one of those!
Good, I was worried that you might have got one
As you ironed I noticed your attention to wrinkle, your precision was impressive, you blasted them out of existence with several firm strokes then placed precision folds and creases. You ironed shirts, jeans, sheets, teatowels, flannels, hankerchieves and underpants. Underpants! Over 3 hours you eroded the mountain to merely a substantial hill of fresh laundry.
Maybe when you look at me you see all the soft wrinkles in my clothes, maybe you needed to give me an iron. It never ceases to amaze me that we are such very close friends. I’m so glad we are.
Words of wisdom from an almost stranger*. a girl friend from Essex
To get a facelift without invasive surgery or spending a lot of money – grow your hair long enough to wear in a ponytail.
I am already following this advice
Every visit to my parents’ home brings new suprises
Each suprise like a crumb on a trail leading into a the blackest forest.
My parents are gently walking into thier story of old age, fumbling into darkness and deafness. Holding each others hands, quibbling like children, I watch them waddle away.
I have old lady
I wonder what comes next…
I know I was wearing them at lunch because I ate my cheese sandwich.
The teeth are old, not as old as me. They don’t fit aswell as when they were new. In January I lost my job. No more health insurance. 55 unemployed in Warren, Pensylvania. No new jobs. Without a job I don’t have health insurance, or money, to replace the old teeth. Without teeth I can only eat soft food.
While looking for a job, trying not to spend money, trying to stay warm, I spent my days in the library.
The Library!
I must have left my teeth at the Library. The woman who had sat opposite, draped in gold jewelry and plastered in 3 coats of make-up, complained about the sound of my sucking my teeth. I stopped sucking my teeth – I took them out. Hah! I placed them on the table where the over-sensitive rich bitch could see them. She moved tables, I lost myself in a book then forgot about my teeth.
Before breakfast I went back to the Library to pick them up. The Librarian winced as she told me she found my teeth. She threw them out last night because of what she called ‘cleanliness concerns‘. False teeth can be cleaned! Steam, disinfectant, take your pick, what do they teach Librarians at school these days? I searched the bins at the back of the Library, the bins weren’t clean. No teeth. That librarians ‘cleanliness concerns’ has turned my diet to mush. Mush until my money completely runs out, then who knows what will happen to me. Maybe I too will be binned for cleanliness concerns.
Two slim elderly gentleman rest their walking sticks as they wait to cross the road in downtown London. Flat caps keep their heads warm, cardigans sensibly cover their torsos in the cool spring sunshine. The modern office block in the background reflects the sun and current fashion.
Not natural, arguably not beautiful and definitely not with a feather as implied by the imagery in this advert. According to this advert natural beauty without surgery can be achieved by the injection of long lasting stuff. Surely this is an abuse of even the 1968 trade’s descriptions act?
To achieve naturalness you need injections?!
If the woman pictured in this advert is an exemplar of naturalness you also need lots of product such as dark eye-shadow, mascara, lipstic, hair-dye, with some additional refinements in the form of eyebrow plucking, dental adjustments and airbrushing.
Burn me as a witch for saying it, but I’d much rather wrinklefest without layers of product on my skin and hair however ‘unnatural’ that might be.
Fifty-seventh in an unfeminised Wednesday series of posts ironing out the reasons for my singleness.
Reason #57: wrinklefest
YAY
It’s official, I’m a wrinkly and proud of it. Looks like I have what TV advertising calls ‘aging spots’ or are those subtle skin tones summer freckles? I squidge my wrinkles at the organisations that attempt to sell anti-wrinkle cream and loudly chant
YAH-BOO TO YOU
My wrinkles are exuding rather-adorableness at twice the normal rate of a 43yr old to an audience that may not yet recognize their fundamental beauty.
